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Slyakin

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CannonFoddr said:
5120615595_4855da30c2.jpg
I met Gary Glitter
:vomit:
 

jarejare3

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You guys don't mind my new story is gonna keep this thread alive? Because its going to take a looonngg time. And i want people to continue posting stories

Continuation-

overlord....

Days passed as we kept watch of Yllymel. She looks like a normal human with black colour hair and normal weak powers like a human. Usually a demon of the same age would have timesfold more physical power than a human. But she is different...

The only thing that differs her is a pair of red eyes and a small black aura that surrounds her body. Ussually saw by humans as a small black cloud that has the size of a fairy size spirit. It would hide in her clothing and only her clothing. When Yllymel is hurt or mocked, the aura would come out of its hidding and circle around her body in an orbit protecting her. But it is a small aura. It won't protect much.

It seems that her eyes has develop powers that is known as the eyes of despair, which is much simmilar to the eye of heroes. Much because of her despair in her life. It seems that she does not how to used her powers. She tend to have it passively activated.
.
.
She walking in the village in a trip to the outskirts when she was hit by a rock thrown from a boy. Much to Yllymel despair, she quickly run but was stop by a man...
to be continue.
 

KingdomBlade

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jarejare3 said:
You guys don't mind my new story is gonna keep this thread alive? Because its going to take a looonngg time. And i want people to continue posting stories

Continuation-

overlord....

Days passed as we kept watch of Yllymel. She looks like a normal human with black colour hair and normal weak powers like a human. Usually a demon of the same age would have timesfold more physical power than a human. But she is different...

The only thing that differs her is a pair of red eyes and a small black aura that surrounds her body. Ussually saw by humans as a small black cloud that has the size of a fairy size spirit. It would hide in her clothing and only her clothing. When Yllymel is hurt or mocked, the aura would come out of its hidding and circle around her body in an orbit protecting her. But it is a small aura. It won't protect much.

It seems that her eyes has develop powers that is known as the eyes of despair, which is much simmilar to the eye of heroes. Much because of her despair in her life. It seems that she does not how to used her powers. She tend to have it passively activated.
.
.
She walking in the village in a trip to the outskirts when she was hit by a rock thrown from a boy. Much to Yllymel despair, she quickly run but was stop by a man...
to be continue.

No offense, but your story looks like crap.

smileipb2.png


Or it's just because of overdose of Stephen King novels that I'm quick to criticize stories. But seriously, it looks generic. I've seen this kind of thing, like Carrie except not scary.
 

KingdomBlade

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jarejare3 said:
How many times must i have to tell u to w8 and see!!

Besides what is generic?.

With a premise like that, I don't need to wait.

Generic means predictable, overly simple, something we've seen a million times before. Like "Bad boy meets good girl" (Grease, Footloose, Walk to Remember), "Family of some ethnicity gets into numerous situations" (Disney Sitcoms), "group of friends" (FRIENDS, How I met Your Mother), "Funny centric character" (Seinfeld, Mr. Bean) and finally, "Ghost/Demonic Little girl" (Obvious).

But I digress. Improve on the story's premise some more.

Then again, I shouldn't really care. It's EOF.

JNFDNKSNJFKNSP:K:KNCXNKLCN:
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OJFJSJFOIJSODF
 

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