Polyamory/Polygamy
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So, tell me the consequences of a non-cult polygamy/polyamory.
I was thinking the same thing.
How many polygamy tribes or tribes in general do you know personally?
There are no disputes in a "regular" family?
Actually a few, I'm part Cherokee and Shawnee and attend Pow Wows when I can and such. Also I am a huge history fanatic and try to accumulate as much history from the native's point of view that I can.
Anyhow, as for disputes, there are disputes which are reasonable and can be settled in a resonable manner. Then there are unreasonable disputes that are never settled in an unreasonable manner, much like the culture portrayed on the Jerry Springer show as an example.
Don't play with fire and you wont' get burned.
I think I'm coming off as a bit of a douche, sorry if I am. Back on topic, legality isn't my concern here, what reason would someone really have for multiple partners?
You know what else isn't a norm? Cannibalism. But seriously I can understand that, just trying to get everyone's perspective on this.
Well, cannibalism is a) murder and/or b) desecration of a corpse, so there's more "wrong" with it than it just not being normal.
I know you're kidding, but I see that sort of argument all the time and it just bugs me.
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That is quite simple, actually. Naturally and biologically every human is looking for the perfect counterpart in a partnership. But let's be realistic here: For 99,99% of people a "perfect" counterpart is an illusion. People are just too different and finding a person with just the characteristics you're looking for is... nearly impossible, to say the least. Now here is where polygamy comes in handy. With polygamy, you don't have to search for the perfect counterpart anymore, because your partners "add up". Let's say (speaking from a male's perspective) you would like a partner capable of being a good mother, yet you would also like a partner with good skills in bed. Finding both in one person could be a hard task, but finding both in two different persons could be quite easy.
Or just imagine this: Imagine you would want to cook the perfect soup, but you were allowed to use either only salt or only pepper. Difficult, right? But if you could use both, it would suddenly become a lot easier to cook that perfect soup, because you could take a little something from both. And basically, partnerships are just like that. One person can hardly be the perfect partner, but multiple partners with different character traits can add up to become that "perfect" partner.
In fact: From a biological standpoint, polygamy is the most natural thing in the world. It is as natural as sex itself and is, in fact, even more natural than monogamy. I'm not even making this up; I'm basing this on scientific research. And it all makes sense, too. I mean, let's just think about it: What really is it in our culuture that makes us think of monogamy as being "correct" or "better than polygamy"? It's mostly burdens from the past. As in: Moral values based on Christianity and similar stuff. Yet from a biological standpoint there is absolutely no added value in monogamy as compared to polygamy. It's a purely cultural thing. We've gotten so used to it that we don't even question it.
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It is perfectly legal to break someone's heart and make them feel worthless or used.
Likewise, a person's private life should remain their own business.
Though here is the question. Do we really want to live in a society that condones "anything goes"? I mean, private life or not, is it really beneficial in the long run for everyone to keep chanting these trendy buzz terms such as "monogamy isn't for everyone"? Is that the standard under which we want to raise our children when we have them? "Go ahead honey, go out there and do what you want, so long as it isn't murder or doesn't harm anyone visibly while they are in your line of sight, then feel free to do it. I mean isn't that how sweat shops operate? Modern day slavery... out of sight out of mind.
I don't care who you are, what political affiliation you have, how liberal and innovative you think your ideas are, and regardless if you adhere to Gnosticism, or insist upon a A-Gnostic reality; you are going to teach your child boundaries in order that they do not do something that is going to immediately or eventually bring physical or emotional harm to them selves or others. It is not in the best interest of their health, the health of those they interact with and try to make friends with, and it certainly does not help to make the parent's life any easier.
Granted, we do have a lot of adult children posing as parents who do very little in the way of raising their children in knowledge, compassion, and wisdom, but for those parents who see beyond their own self wants, this is the way of things.
Now as for me, if two beautiful women offered to take me home, one sitting on my face while the other...
...well you get the idea.
Well do you really think for a moment that that would not be tempting to me? Do you not think that that would not provoke some INTENSE sexual urges within me? I could jump on the band wagon and say,"hey why not, it's only pleasure?", but at what cost?
If I built a reputation of hanging around sleazy nymphs as such, would I really get the time or day with a lady who is refined, educated, and aspires to care about others as much as she does her self? Would such activities help me to be content with the one I love? Would they not have any effect on her (presuming I was in a tender relationship), would I not be hurt if my dearest lady friend went out and had a quickie with a couple of guys? Would conducting my self in front of my proverbial kids be beneficial to them? Having multiple women running around the house and no central mother, or seeing parents who will do what ever they can to find pleasure?
Mind you, some people (like some of my friends) are more about this. They are not very good when it comes to expressing or dealing with their emotions, and they are certainly not very good at dealing with or handling other people's emotions. Generally they are miserable and like to fill the void with booze, pills, sex, and well what ever gets those endorphins flowing, if not for a little while. (Not that I don't enjoy my herb, but it's not my only source for joy).
They were not brought up with discipline, or wisdom, as with most of them, their parents split when they were young, they were not shown much affection growing up, and this and that. Basically they just repeat what they saw growing up and never bothered to try not to repeat it for what ever reason.
For them, you ask them what is wrong with this picture of open relationships and what not, and they say nothing. They are already miserable and don't really know a better life one way or the other, nor do they know how to keep someone's trust, or to put their feelings or wants on the back burner when a friend is in need or what have you. So for them, they will say, everyone should get all the sex while they can, look at me, ain't hurt me any!
Though again, if you ask a child addicted to candy if they would like to eat candy for the rest of their lives, they probably will say yes, that they would replace their daily diet with it and never eat fruit or veggies again...
Once more, because they have not lived long enough to experience how sick that candy will make them, or how much it will shorten their life.
Anyhow, I'm tired of typing, dunno why I have to explain the obvious in such extreme detail anyhow? Bottom line, our society is sick, selfish, and short sighted when it comes to a lot of the finer things in life.
Likewise, a person's private life should remain their own business.
Though here is the question. Do we really want to live in a society that condones "anything goes"? I mean, private life or not, is it really beneficial in the long run for everyone to keep chanting these trendy buzz terms such as "monogamy isn't for everyone"? Is that the standard under which we want to raise our children when we have them? "Go ahead honey, go out there and do what you want, so long as it isn't murder or doesn't harm anyone visibly while they are in your line of sight, then feel free to do it. I mean isn't that how sweat shops operate? Modern day slavery... out of sight out of mind.
I don't care who you are, what political affiliation you have, how liberal and innovative you think your ideas are, and regardless if you adhere to Gnosticism, or insist upon a A-Gnostic reality; you are going to teach your child boundaries in order that they do not do something that is going to immediately or eventually bring physical or emotional harm to them selves or others. It is not in the best interest of their health, the health of those they interact with and try to make friends with, and it certainly does not help to make the parent's life any easier.
Granted, we do have a lot of adult children posing as parents who do very little in the way of raising their children in knowledge, compassion, and wisdom, but for those parents who see beyond their own self wants, this is the way of things.
Now as for me, if two beautiful women offered to take me home, one sitting on my face while the other...
...well you get the idea.
Well do you really think for a moment that that would not be tempting to me? Do you not think that that would not provoke some INTENSE sexual urges within me? I could jump on the band wagon and say,"hey why not, it's only pleasure?", but at what cost?
If I built a reputation of hanging around sleazy nymphs as such, would I really get the time or day with a lady who is refined, educated, and aspires to care about others as much as she does her self? Would such activities help me to be content with the one I love? Would they not have any effect on her (presuming I was in a tender relationship), would I not be hurt if my dearest lady friend went out and had a quickie with a couple of guys? Would conducting my self in front of my proverbial kids be beneficial to them? Having multiple women running around the house and no central mother, or seeing parents who will do what ever they can to find pleasure?
Mind you, some people (like some of my friends) are more about this. They are not very good when it comes to expressing or dealing with their emotions, and they are certainly not very good at dealing with or handling other people's emotions. Generally they are miserable and like to fill the void with booze, pills, sex, and well what ever gets those endorphins flowing, if not for a little while. (Not that I don't enjoy my herb, but it's not my only source for joy).
They were not brought up with discipline, or wisdom, as with most of them, their parents split when they were young, they were not shown much affection growing up, and this and that. Basically they just repeat what they saw growing up and never bothered to try not to repeat it for what ever reason.
For them, you ask them what is wrong with this picture of open relationships and what not, and they say nothing. They are already miserable and don't really know a better life one way or the other, nor do they know how to keep someone's trust, or to put their feelings or wants on the back burner when a friend is in need or what have you. So for them, they will say, everyone should get all the sex while they can, look at me, ain't hurt me any!
Though again, if you ask a child addicted to candy if they would like to eat candy for the rest of their lives, they probably will say yes, that they would replace their daily diet with it and never eat fruit or veggies again...
Once more, because they have not lived long enough to experience how sick that candy will make them, or how much it will shorten their life.
Anyhow, I'm tired of typing, dunno why I have to explain the obvious in such extreme detail anyhow? Bottom line, our society is sick, selfish, and short sighted when it comes to a lot of the finer things in life.
It doesn't matter whether or not someone is harmed in your line of sight. Sweatshops are immoral and have victims. Polygamy is victimless. You appear to be missing the point if you think visibility is at all what anyone is talking about. "Privacy" is being thrown around by to highlight how there are no victims and no one's rights are being violated. A polygamous marriage, for example, affects you in no way.
Yes, I do want to live in a society where people are free to do what they want so long as no one is hurt and no one's rights are violated.
We give children boundaries because they are not yet capable of making some decisions themselves. We're talking about adults with the capacity to make their own decisions, not children. For example, sex with a minor is always illegal because minors are incapable of making those decisions. It doesn't matter if the minor claims it was consensual.
That's how you see it, and whether or not you engage in that kind of behavior is your choice to make. Polygamy doesn't appear to be for you. It's not for me either. However, I have yet to hear any good reason to think polygamy is immoral or should be illegal.
You seem to be making bold claims about sexually active people. You also seem to be implying that sexuality is immoral without giving any real reason to think so. In reality, sexuality and good mental health go hand in hand.
I refer you back to my previous points about children. Likewise, there is a difference between sexual activity and something like only eating candy and its affects on physical health.
Focusing on polygamy/polyamory, why does having more than one partner means they have to be sleazy? Why can't they both be well educated and what not? Why can't they both provide moral/ethical guidance and not be some other body in the house?
Anything the kids aren't ready for, don't show and/or talk about it to them.
For the record, I don't agree with "open relationships".
Anything the kids aren't ready for, don't show and/or talk about it to them.
For the record, I don't agree with "open relationships".
I've got enough security issues after being cheated on several times, I'd rather not have the law encouraging further breakdown of morality. Legalise polygamy and soon people will be collecting wives like cards. We'll see a huge increase in the number of small tattoos on women as they start getting rarity marks tattood on their arses like Magic the Gathering cards.
Personally I remain totally faithful when in a relationship. Opportunities are always present to cheat and have more than one woman on the go at once, but I find the entire concept distasteful.
Personally I remain totally faithful when in a relationship. Opportunities are always present to cheat and have more than one woman on the go at once, but I find the entire concept distasteful.
Except that no one here has demonstrated that polygamy is immoral. If you don't like it, don't enter in a polygamous relationship.
By definition, there is nothing inherently "unfaithful" about a polygamous marriage; the parameters of the relationship are just different. That's likes saying I'm cheating in a game of Chess when you're applying the rules of Checkers.
At best that is a bad twisting of the "try not to cause harm to anybody" type philosophy and not one that most people could or would espouse. In another context that would probably be known as a strawman and dismissed about as easily, indeed I believe one of the psychological development milestones and an aspect of sentience is to be able to consider effects beyond your vision and how the actions of others work when you are not there.
I see others have addressed the other points but let me assure you such qualities are not mutually exclusive. On the central figures part there are longstanding phrases along the lines of "it takes a village" and I will also counter with how do grandparents play into this- many quite happily adopt the position of proper authority figure and if there can be more the immediate two....?
Addicted is an interesting word and one that might not be ideal to use as it carries a lot of meaning in medical discussion and most of that would not apply to sweets in almost all cases in your example. I fail to see quite where you were going with that- shock horror, an undeveloped mind can not comprehend dietary science and how it works.
In a world where people routinely have a pension, insurance of various forms and a long term view of a lot of things I would have to dispute that. Though I would probably get the sentience idea return to greet me when wasn't it and "sick" is a fairly meaningless word there without a lot of qualification.
i say just live together and share expenses, no need to be married.
why is everyone so uptight about "marriage", its just a formal way of saying we are legally financially bound.
if me and two other people make a verbal/signed/whatever type of agreement to do something with finances, its quite the same, actually you are in that type of deal when you get a loan. its a legally binding financial agreement between you and a bank, which is comprised of many people. getting a loan is polygamist marriage. lolwut
why is everyone so uptight about "marriage", its just a formal way of saying we are legally financially bound.
if me and two other people make a verbal/signed/whatever type of agreement to do something with finances, its quite the same, actually you are in that type of deal when you get a loan. its a legally binding financial agreement between you and a bank, which is comprised of many people. getting a loan is polygamist marriage. lolwut
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Because Marriage to me is a special gift that one best friend gives to the other. It is the highest pact one human can make to another as far as I see it, but that's just me, I don't always run with pure logic and scientific reasoning I guess?
I wonder how long it will take us to catch up with ancient Rome in regards to relationships and sexual encounters...
Didn't seem to hurt them much? I dunno, maybe children do like being porked, and maybe, just maybe a husband will some day see it as his patriotic duty to allow soldiers to sleep with his wife as the state deems necessary? Maybe, just maybe the slaves who worked under the spas keeping the fires going so the pools above stayed warm actually enjoyed being down there while the privileged had orgies above.
I sure hope so, I want in on some of that orgy action!!!
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