My Philosophy *PLZ READ*

[M]artin

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I have an upcoming paper, which has to do with my personal philosophy, and I was wondering if you guys would be so kind as to give it a read and let me know what you think before I begin editing it into a final draft.
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Be warned, this is somewhat of a long [but worthwhile] read, so bring some food or something.
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EDIT: Cleaned it up a bit based on the wonderful tips given by ndela007 and Strokemouth; any further input from the community would be greatly appreciated.


Ever since the world began, humans have been presented with problems and issues that cause them to seek within themselves. Trials and tribulations have been teaching us about ourselves for millions of years. Through personal experience, one gains an immense amount of knowledge that helps them proceed in their day-to-day lives successfully. Different people have been through many different things in life however, thus causing their views to be molded differently. How has my life affected my deeper views thus far? These are my morals, my beliefs, my philosophy.

Self-expression isn’t something you can learn from a textbook, it’s something you must develop. You must have passion and a determined mind to engage in the creation of artistic works. Esthetics, much like the vast amount of philosophical beliefs out there, vary from person to person. Some people may view a subject as a work of art, an unimaginable masterpiece. Others however, may scorn that same piece and disregard it as a true work of art. I’ve come to learn, however, that it isn’t always about receiving the critiques and praise of others. Philosopher Theodor Adorno once said, “It is self-evident that nothing concerning art is self-evident any more.” This quote is very true because artists and philosophers alike all use the notion of their art in their own respective fields. There is no absolute definition of art; in fact, it’s constantly changing over time. Most of the time, all that matters is the final outcome, as the author himself perceives it. That is where the true underlying meaning of artistic quality comes from. Additionally, if an author knows for a fact that his piece is of true artistic value to them, they may try to spread their object (and possibly their heavy belief in this) to the greatest amount of people, as if communicating with the masses through their piece. This is when the author must prepare to receive criticisms and backlash. It is my personal belief that if the author always remembers what the piece represents to them personally, they can endure any amount of scorn.

Ethics, as opposed to the previously mentioned ideal of self-expression, is heavily influenced by figures of authority and those close to you in most cases. If only ethics could begin to be developed [by ourselves, for ourselves] at birth, then our choices would be more personal. Higher figures of authority create all the rules and regulations that all of society is expected to follow. Every new generation is influenced by the past generation, and society standards are constantly modified. Those who raised me since birth influenced my personal ethics heavily. Of course, I’ve been with them most of my life, so I tend to adopt the traits of their morals as well. Luckily, I was raised with some pretty good traditions and beliefs, and I believe that I have become a decent human being because of it. As we mature however, we take in morals and behaviors from others as we explore further through the world. At times, the morals that we have been using for the longest time may become tested. It is at these times that one’s true ethical beliefs are revealed and one can learn many things from one’s self, morally.

As advanced as we are, there are still many things that we don’t know and perhaps will never know. Metaphysics is indeed one of those categories in which many things are not known and one’s beliefs must be applied in order to form some sort of view on what life truly is. Aristotle, the father of Metaphysics, argues some very interesting points about the conclusion of life. He constructs an ideal of a “Final Cause,” when the sake of which a thing exists for is completed. I tend to think that a similar theory is applied when one’s life nears its end. We all contribute in some way to this world, whether we realize it or not. By simply existing and functioning in this world, we affect many aspects around us, ultimately shaping the universe. There is a “Final Cause” for everyone, and this can only be accomplished by one’s self. However, I believe that factoring in a “Final Cause” theory diminishes any chance of there being any kind of reincarnation after death. Once one fulfills all that is needed to be done in their lifetime, they’re sent to a location of afterlife. We are composed of two elements, body and soul. Our body is our physical element, used to function in daily life, while our soul is what actually will progress and carry on after death of out physical selves. The soul is eternal.

One of our main purposes in life is to acquire information through the countless experiences we go through. One aspect of Epistemology theorizes that we already have the answers to everything. When we feel that we have learned something new we are simply becoming aware of something we already knew. I strongly disagree with this theory. As I stated earlier, there are many areas and questions in life that we can never hope to obtain the proper knowledge to. If we are simply being reminded of things that we already know, then our personal character would be a lot more developed then it is now. Obtaining new knowledge is crucial to progression in all people, we cannot simple be “reminded” of the same information that every single person already knows. People’s truths also vary, not everyone’s truths are the same, and most of the time, it’s not entirely impossible to know if something is true or not in the first place. This, in turn, leads me to doubt the concept of universal knowledge.

This leads me back to another facet in all people’s lives, human nature. We are constantly molding and changing ourselves around when questions are posed and debates ensue. As long as one continues to exist, one will continue to change. Sartre believed in the ideal that “existence precedes essence;” we must first exist in order to then develop an essence that completes our existence. Human nature can sometimes lead individuals to become dangerous and get out of hand. This is due to an incompatibility of inner discipline. In order to control outward emotions and actions, inner emotions must first be tamed and progressive growth must occur.

Personal responsibility grabs attribute from all previously mentioned points in this essay and transforms them for physical use in society. Society involves much interaction and communication among people. I feel that in order to communicate with others, you must first present yourself as a benevolent member of society. By giving this impression to others you influence their lives in a positive way. I’m also a firm believer in the areas of Altruism and Utilitarianism. In order for all of society to benefit as a whole, individuals must aid other peers as often as possible. Society needs to stop functioning as a selfish group and start working together as a whole to advance towards higher standards. I’ve always been about lending a helping hand to those in need, even if you’ve been going through a tough time period. You yourself gain a positive outlook and you also reach out by assisting someone who requires help. By functioning as a productive member of society, you better your own life as well as those around you.

This is the result of 17 years of growth and experience in one individual’s life. As stated earlier, everyone has different beliefs, and they change often. The beliefs stated above may not even be important to me in a few years. Although one may never know what life’s true purpose really is, you’ll always have a personal group of beliefs and morals to refer back to when presented with life-altering events, and they’ll never fail you when you need them most.
 

ndela007

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Just reading for some face value things that stand out to me, things I would notice when grading a serious paper.

"I’ve turned out as an o.k. kind of guy"
o.k. = okay, possibly reword to "I believe that I am a decent human being." No clue why, but referring to yourself as 'guy' seems somewhat degrading in that sentence (or I have graded too many papers in my life).
Also when writing papers I find the reader takes you seriously if you refrain from I've, we've, and so forth. I've = I have

"brings of some very interesting points about when ones life concludes."
brings up? one's?

"(e.g. Heaven or Hell)"
This is not needed.

"The soul is eternal."
The previous sentence basically states this, but you may either want to A) Expound and lengthen this sentence B) Rework the previous sentence to contain this information

"himself/herself....his/her"
When writing a paper choose one to use and continue the use throughout the paper. I have found sometimes substituting 'one' 'oneself' and so on adds a further air of sophistication to any writing.

"I strongly disagree with this theory, as I stated earlier"
Maybe I have had a long day or maybe it is the introduction sentence of the paragraph, but I really do not see you explicitly state this 'earlier'.

' “new” “learned something new” '
You are not at a party citing something with your fingers, so please refrain from these cliche looking quotations that are statements derived from your own thought. Other quotations are needed as in the case of Sartre, even though you could get rid of them technically.

"and a most of the time"
mmm wording perhaps?

Some superficial notes that would only help to enhance your paper. Other than that, the whole paper was well written and interesting to read. You should expect high marks, but if you need anymore feed back from my corner just shoot me a pm.
 

Taras

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QUOTE said:
The soul is eternal.

Perhaps people believe this in order to narcissistically guard those experiences that we're (supposedly) here to accumulate. Much like a robber baron on his death bed clutches his wealth which he can't take with them. It's all we have at the end of the day, right? We can't be forced to give them up, right? My personal experiences are too important in the grand scheme of things, right? Maybe not. It's depressing to think about, so instead I think about an afterlife with Jesus and angels and waterslides and noodle salad. Good times.
 

ndela007

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QUOTE said:
The soul is eternal.

Perhaps people believe this in order to narcissistically guard those experiences that we're (supposedly) here to accumulate. Much like a robber baron on his death bed clutches his wealth which he can't take with them. It's all we have at the end of the day, right? We can't be forced to give them up, right? My personal experiences are too important in the grand scheme of things, right? Maybe not. It's depressing to think about, so instead I think about an afterlife with Jesus and angels and waterslides and noodle salad. Good times.

This guy....
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[M]artin

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Thanks a million for pointing those out to me ndela007, my eyes are getting tired and I would've missed those... >_<

Tried throwing in the "ok kind of guy" and similar terms to add more of a personal sense into the paper, but now I can see where it throws it off...
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ndela007

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QUOTE([M said:
artin @ May 20 2007, 08:25 PM)]Thanks a million for pointing those out to me ndela007, my eyes are getting tired and I would've missed those... >_<

Tried throwing in the "ok kind of guy" and similar terms to add more of a personal sense into the paper, but now I can see where it throws it off...
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Glad I could be useful. As I said it was a fun read and I hope you get a great grade.

and Taras, you just think too much
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Strokemouth

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QUOTE said:
Self-expression isn’t something you can’t learn from a textbook

Double-negatives are a no-no!

QUOTE said:
Esthetics, much like the vast amount of philosophical beliefs out there, varies from person to person.

1. Aesthetics
2. Watch your verb conjugation, especially when using paranthetical expressions like this. "Varies" should be "vary."

QUOTE
This leads me back to another crucial point in all people’s lives, human nature.

This sentence is awkward. Usually, a crucial or critical point in life is described in the temporal sense. I'd consider changing "point" to something like "aspect" or "facet."

Those are a couple that really jump out at me. There are a few things I noticed throughout that you may want to watch:

1. When using quotes, punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. See above for an example.

2. Like someone else said, watch the mixture of tone. Going from a serious tone to one that is more personal or informal can make for some awkward parts. The "ok kind of guy" part is the best example.

3. You may want to try to tie the different sections together a little better as they are somewhat disjointed. Granted, it might not be as apparent if I knew what the assignment was, but I did find myself going back to the first paragraph trying to find a hypothesis or summary.

4. I'm not sure if this is the type of paper that requires citations, but just make sure your quotes are accurate if you don't need to cite them. If you DO need to cite them, get those citations in there.
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I did like it, though. I also thought the closing was excellent. Good job!
 

[M]artin

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Taras, I see your viewpoint as well, but as I mentioned somewhere up there, the afterlife of Heaven and Hell is what I was raised on (even though it DOES seem heavily sugarcoated at times). I have yet to believe in another possiblity for afterlife (I have a strong feeling that I'll change my views before death, as I am still maturing
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)

Many thanks for those tips and observations Strokemouth, they helped a ton. I edited the first post with a version that has been cleaned up a little and I'll continue to work on this tonight.
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spokenrope

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QUOTE said:
This guy....
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Exactly. That's why it's a safe play to ignore me, like 99% on the board do. It doesn't matter, nothing does. With the possible exception of a release date for Duke Nukem Forever.



Hell yeah, nihilism. I'd actually love to hear much more about your thoughts on this sort of thing. I thought your previous post was very well worded and right on the money. Perhaps in another thread though, to prevent threadjacking.
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In regards to the paper, I was taught very early on that writing "you" in a paper is in poor taste. For example:

QUOTE
Although one may never know what life’s true purpose really is, you’ll always have a personal group of beliefs and morals to refer back to when presented with life-altering events, and they’ll never fail you when you need them most.

to:

"Although one may never know what life's true purpose really is, everyone has personal beliefs and morals to refer back to when presented with life-altering events, and those beliefs and morals will always be there when they're needed the most ."

Or something like that. I don't know. Take it for what it's worth.
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