Gonna start writing a book and YOU GUYS get to read it first!

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Skompc, May 11, 2017.

  1. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    Crossroads #1:
    http://gbatemp.net/threads/regarding-i-am-crossroads-1.470304/


    I'm in the process of writing a story about a shape shifter who's existed since the dawn of civilisation and has tried to fit into society... They've tried to live a hermit kind of life... Staying away from most people... Until something (no spoilers!) happens that causes them to screw they're cover and reveal their true form... Now their known as "The Chameleon"... A superhero that you never know who it is (until you do a crime and they're right behind you!)... What do you guys think?


    Edit: Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lM41-kW5Q7hdQcwbftStqmwUM_YIaieuTeeKfz79Nlw/edit?usp=drivesdk
     
    Last edited by Skompc, May 11, 2017
  2. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    ....you better make it DAMN good to top some of the webnovels i'm reading right now, but hey, if your gonna write something then this is a pretty good place to post it and get a fanbase together
    https://royalroadl.com/welcome
    I really like this website, a lot of my favorite reads have been written by authors who post their stories here, go ahead and give it a shot.
     
  3. Deboog

    Deboog GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Why don't you finish a chapter and ask us again then? :P
     
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  4. H1B1Esquire

    H1B1Esquire RxTools, the ultimate CFW machine.

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    Earth, bro-dude.
    ...is shape-shifting their only power? I'm sure it can be useful if you change from a fly on the wall to your targets ____ or turn into something useful, but....it seems like something you'd see on CW.


    Do it; good luck.
     
  5. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    Ok I'll do that... Heads up it's written in first person past tense... But I gotta get out of work first
     
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  6. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    where will you post it ? if you can, drop us a link to it here.
     
  7. BlueFox gui

    BlueFox gui SOMEONE

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    good luck with that dude, i hope you can :)
     
  8. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    I'll use Google drive and of course I'll give a link!

    No spoilers but shape shifting WONT be their only power... Just the one they start off with... They'll gain more powers by... NO SPOILERS LOL!
     
  9. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    Just made first chapter... Link in first post
     
  10. Issac

    Issac I

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    I'm going to be honest, and that might hurt a bit. It's only meant to help you though, not to shoot you down!

    It needs some cleaning up. Well, a lot of cleaning up.

    Firstly, you use way too many ellipsis (three dots ... ). That's alright in a forum post or in a chat, but not in a short story or novel. I find it OK if it's used in conversations though, to indicate a moment of silence... but I prefer to actually describe the conversation instead. Example below.

    "I was going to buy groceries... but the store was closed", Marcus said.

    "I was going to buy groceries", Marcus said, pausing to come up with an excuse. "But the store was closed"

    --

    Secondly, you need to pay attention to the grammar. "Your like a superhero" just doesn't look good. Punctuation as well, as you never seem to end sentences with periods.

    --

    On the story: keep it up! Sounds like it could be a Young-Adult story appealing to many people.
     
    Last edited by Issac, May 11, 2017
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  11. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    @Issac yea I just used Google Docs on a phone to type up a rough draft of sorts... Of course the final version won't have the grammatical errors

    As for the ellipsis that's just my texting style and it just carried over into the novel (since I'm on a phone)... I'll re-upload a revised version later

    I enjoy receiving good criticism and your input was really helpful! Thank you! And glad you enjoyed the story so far!

    To be continued...
     
  12. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    I just go an idea... How about each time I'm at a crossroads in the novel I'll look to everyone's input on where to go next... Like we're all writing this novel together!

    I'll make another thread for each time and link to it from here... That way the main thread stays clean (hopefully...)
     
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  13. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    that could make for some VERRYYY interesting plot twists, don't rely too much on reader input though, you gotta have a solid idea worked out ahead of time.
     
  14. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    Gotcha... And crossroads #1 thread added... Name of the novel is "I am..."
     
  15. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    The Demifiend
     
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  16. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    Very good antagonist name... Im actually gonna use that... But only for the next to last villian... I got something special in mind for the final one
     
  17. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    c'mon The Demifiend/Hitoshura is one of my favorite MC's in fiction, google him before you write him off as a next-to-last villian
     
  18. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    MINOR SPOILER!
    The last villian is SUPER meta about everything... Like he knows that he's in a story and that it's all fiction
     
    Last edited by Skompc, May 11, 2017
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  19. lcie nimbus

    lcie nimbus 100th degree asskicker

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    so,we gonna see some fourth-wall breaking ?
     
  20. Skompc
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    Skompc Advanced Member

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    LOTS OF IT! Especially in the final chapters

    — Posts automatically merged - Please don't double post! —

    Partway through the novel it'll switch tenses to present tense and even future tense at some point
     
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