GBAtemp Abridged

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by AlanJohn, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. AlanJohn
    OP

    AlanJohn くたばれ

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    "Admittedly, I am a huge faggot", proclaimed UsuallyDead, as he rested his undersized penis in between p1ngpong's buttcheeks. It had been a long day of shitposting and spreading liberal views everywhere, all while managing to betray and hurt all those stupid enough to have liked him. Business hadn't been all that great lately, as his faggotry emporium attracted such a small niche of people seemingly already capable of producing their own, and so he'd found himself sitting around at home, persuing his intellectual interests while wondering how to make rent that month.
    "OMG PML LOL", came the response from the retarded manchild, resting on its knees. Life hadn't been amazing for p1ngpong lately either, as its former bosses at GBAtemp had finally caught onto the fact that he was nothing more than a malevolent buttfiend and part-time troll (who had ascended their ranks just as easily as their Boss's former-wife had gained a French citizenship, before abandoning her creepy husband for a black frenchman capable of sustaining errections), and had fired him. Just like that, he'd found himself back on the streets, crawling around and sniffing the shoes of random passers by, trying to get some kind of reaction to feed off of. Then he'd found luck, as UsuallyDead was in need of a new buttbuddy, and they hit it off right away with their contradictory edgy opinions and annoying senses' of humor.
    "Ah well, I guess I'll begin penetrating your tight asshole now", continued UsuallyDead in his usual condescending manner, "it might not be the best, but it serves my purposes very well and overall I think I enjoy it more than I would any other alternative". Slowly, he pushed his penis inside of p1ngpong, splitting his anus apart with his unwashed, neckbearded three-inch-spear thrusting inside.
    "OHHHH YESSS PEEEEEEMMMEELLLLLLL", cried the disgusting retard, as his underdeveloped hips bore the full weight of UD's thrust. "OMG UR GAY LOLLLLLLLLLLLL, I FEEL IT INSIDE OF ME". Reaching backwards, he grabbed UD's waist, and used it to pull himself up to a standing height.
    "What are you doing, dearie? I thought we'd agreed that for sake of fairness and solitude I would stand and you would rest, this is clearly violating our agreement", enquired UD, as he pulled p1ngpong towards him, burying his manhood all the way - three long inches inside. His body glistening with sweat, he further interjected, "I really am not okay with this recent difference in our opinions".
    "UR BACKSTABBING SNAKE IS FILLING ME UP", it cried out, ignoring UD's concerns, greedily gobbling up his micropenis with its manpussy, "WOMEN FOR BAN" it continued to splutter out, oozing disgusting bile all over UD's acceptable-quality, reasonably-priced carpet.
    UsuallyDead sighed, sweat gushing down onto the pool of bile p1ngpong had secreted as the exhaustion began to set in. "Well in my opinion, Triple-A titles are overrated. Give me something like Mugen over Final Fantasy any day."
    "LOLLL, SHENMUE FTW. VICTORIA THREEE POLITIC PLMAO ;O;", cried out p1ngpong, its body shuddering violently as its own micropenis secreted a thick, green gunge, further adding to the curious concoction of assorted fluids they were standing in.
    "Ah, I see you have climaxed. I will accelerate to this point of contention, where I will very reasonably finish too.", came the condescending tone, before continuing " Where would you prefer me to come?".
    "YOU'RE GAY PML ;O;", came the reply - although it was too late, as UD was clearly unable to hold himself.
    "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO MY INTELLECTUAL PERSUIIIIIIIITTTSSS-- ARRGHHHH", UD violently pulled the manchild in his hands towards him, before shuddering violently and collapsing into it, both bodies falling into the puddle of disgusting substances with a loud splash.
    "Ah, I see my carpet will require cleaning again. Thankfully I have a carpet cleaning solution which I am sure will do an acceptable job, even though internet reviews have said otherwise.", UsuallyDead shrugged, standing up and sitting down back in front of his computer before continuing with his latest story about a few underage schoolgirls discovering the delights of each others' love.
    P1ngpong, content with his anus full of stagnant semen, and in a puddle of literal shit, rolled around purring loudly and ejaculating from his manboobs profusely.
    The fluid on the floor, the Mucus, if you will.

    And they all lived happily ever after.

    UsuallyDead X p1ngpong is my OTP.
     
  2. Black-Ice

    Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    Read this while listening to this.
    Made my experience that much more special

     
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  3. Frederica Bernkastel

    Frederica Bernkastel WebPerf and PWA advocate; @antoligy on Twitter

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    Frederica Bernkastel is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

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    Hinamizawa
    UsuallyDead wants this published.

    Edit:
    OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED "THE MUCUS, IF YOU WILL" REFERS TO mucus.
     
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  4. MikotoHE2

    MikotoHE2 Newbie

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    Lol!!
     
  5. Ubuntuの刀

    Ubuntuの刀 :^D

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    The first sentence killed me. I'm dying laughing.
     
  6. Ubuntuの刀

    Ubuntuの刀 :^D

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    I think this is easier to read.
     
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  7. Luigi2012SM64DS

    Luigi2012SM64DS G-old member

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    Minecrapt
    [​IMG]
    Wait... abridged? I got nothing.
     
  8. tigris

    tigris Sentient Existential Anthropomorphic Sweet Potato

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    This... this needs a dramatic reading.
    edit: great, now i've gotta listen to the whole damn song (not a bad thing)
     
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  9. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    itt

    P1ng's pong is sacred and cannot be contaminated by carnal lust. That's a basic fact, people.
     
  10. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    tl;dr.
     
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  11. Luigi2012SM64DS

    Luigi2012SM64DS G-old member

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    Wait Tom are you SuprGamr232
     
  12. Sop

    Sop groovy dude lmao

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    gta > saints row
     
  13. Luigi2012SM64DS

    Luigi2012SM64DS G-old member

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    BF > COD
     
  14. mucus

    mucus Orc Orc Orc

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    Playing Minecraft
    i'm so cool.
     
  15. Black-Ice

    Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    Actually he's Suprgamr232

    get it right
    Tom Bombadildo
    ;o;
     
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  16. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    Tom Bombadildo is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

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    I forgot
    I'm not sure who you're talking to, but whomever it is must be dumb as fuck.
    :yay:
    :wub:
     
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  17. Luigi2012SM64DS

    Luigi2012SM64DS G-old member

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    WELL WE'VE HAD OUR HISTORY.
     
  18. Ammako

    Ammako GBAtemp Guru

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    No, he's Pinky232