Facebook Dating is broken

[JuanMena]

I've tried to look for a partner since the last one disappeared mysteriously.
So I made a Facebook Dating ad, but I'm not receiving any matches.
Can someone tell me what I'm doing wrong?
My ad goes as it follows:

"I am a 6'2" 187lbs guy looking for a healthy girl.
Non smoker and non drinker is a must.
Preferably with two kidneys and healthy lungs.
Also, her eyes mustn't have any kind of problem.
-O blood type is a plus.

I own a cozy apartment in a very lonely street. We can be at silence and people won't bother us because there won't be any around.
I have a van with black windows and free candy. Call me and maybe I'll pick you up if you're interested.

I can cook too. I have all kinds of knifes that can cut through hard bones. Maybe I could make you a juicy steak in our first date.

Woodworking is one of my hobbies... that means I own saws and hanmers of all kinds if you're interested in that kind of stuff.
Call me at: 222-222-2"

I simply don't get it

 

[Jayinem]

It's probably that you're just not a good looking dude. Me either.

 

[hippy dave]

You put an invalid phone number, no wonder nobody called

 

[aoikurayami]

It's probably that you're just not a good looking dude. Me either.

Don't worry. According to studies, most men don't qualify in that department.

But enough with the unimportant stuff.
Let's talk about your bank ac- I mean personality !

Non smoker and non drinker is a must.
Preferably with two kidneys and healthy lungs.
Also, her eyes mustn't have any kind of problem.
-O blood type is a plus.

Sure you didn't take a wrong turn into the organ donation section ?

"I'll give you two luvs, for your left kidney honey"

 

[JuanMena]

Sure you didn't take a wrong turn into the organ donation section ?

The only organ donation I participate in is when I donate my organ to uremom

 

[JuanMena]

It's probably that you're just not a good looking dude. Me either.

You put an invalid phone number, no wonder nobody called

Ah, that explains it.

 

[aoikurayami]

The only organ donation I participate in is when I donate my organ to uremom

Shall I bury them next to her ?

 

[JuanMena]

Shall I bury them next to her ?

What a waste!

 

[aoikurayami]

What a waste!

Why ?
A beautiful... Banana Tree could *pahaha* grow..


Sorry I laughing too hard rn.

 

[Hayato213]

You put an invalid phone number, no wonder nobody called

@JuanBaNaNa phone # for the ladies, 56 666 666 6666

 

[The Catboy]

Try not being 6’2.

 

[Hayato213]

Try not being 6’2.

Except he is 7'6 the Mexican variant of Yao Ming.

 

[The Catboy]

Except he is 7'6 the Mexican variant of Yao Ming.

Bruh, that’s horrifying. I am 5’4, anyone that tall is just too tall

 

[CoolMe]

So I made a Facebook Dating add

Who the hell uses that?

Non smoker and non drinker is a must.

Gay.

I own a cozy apartment in a very lonely street. We can be at silence and people won't bother us because there won't be any around.

Pretty gay..

I can cook too. Maybe I could make you a juicy steak in our first date.

Very gay...

Call me at: 222-222-2

You should change it to 6969 6969 69!

 

[CoolMe]

Who the hell uses that?

Gay.

Pretty gay..

Very gay...

You should change it to 6969 6969 69!

In conclusion, they'd figured out that @JuanBaNaNa is gay, and that explains why none of them responded to him..

 

[Hayato213]

Secret is out, it has to do with @JuanBaNaNa not willing to share his banana. When a woman asks @JuanBaNaNa for Banana @JuanBaNaNa be like

 

[aoikurayami]

In conclusion, they'd figured out that @JuanBaNaNa is gay, and that explains why none of them responded to him..

you.. responded to him.

 

[JuanMena]

Anyone replying to my threads (with the exception of OP) is homosexual.

 

[aoikurayami]

Then I'll biii seeing myself out

 

[SG854]

Don't worry. According to studies, most men don't qualify in that department.

But enough with the unimportant stuff.
Let's talk about your bank ac- I mean personality !


Sure you didn't take a wrong turn into the organ donation section ?

"I'll give you two luvs, for your left kidney honey"

Men are just ugly looking creatures in general