Bad morning post

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[x65943]

 

[MPRTwice]

I made it, now I can talk about it.

It was not an easy day.

I was on discord, and a very toxic communtiy used pro-Hitler, anti-African-American speech, and even went as far as a severely violent death threat towards me specifically and intent to kill off my kind, which I reported.


The gym had a man remove all of his clothes in there, and he tried to hide that from me and the gym owners when I caught him by accident completely undressed doing pullups.


As if that wasn't enough, my emotions were already high: I was very sick, and it magnified my emotions off the charts.


And a huge delay in paperwork for new credentials. I was on the phone around at least twenty times, and it is nearly sorted out.


I had also been home for ten days, snowbound. The car can barely go anywhere. It's new, and the cold is so intense that it _still_ has a delay with the ingnition in sub-zero temperatures for many days.


Then on top of that, someone not from this site tried to annoy me personally as much as they possibly could about my Faith, trying to say everything they could against me and God. This is where the "phoenix" comment I referenced from earlier came from; they tried everything, even Buddhism, even Egyptian mythlogy in a very avant-garde way, to try to get me to doubt Faith, and I made it and won the debate, but it wasn't easy.


And then a downstairs "Karen" tried to annoy me too; shuffling my feet at my desk, and she was pounding the floor through her ceiling, which I reported, again.


And others did their best to mock me in other places as well, over topics I didn't care to discuss. So that went on for a time.


And then I sent great news to a buddy, but he responded with weird, garbled text; he was drunk, and on his eleventh can of beer.


And then my family was arguing more than usual; something made them extremely upset, and my sibling was so beside himself that he cut off contact; I have no idea what it was, except that it had nothing to do with me, but my sibling and I were lashed out hard against just for beign kind and levelheaded, asking the basic questions such as "how's it going" and "is it still snowing a lot there?" apparently the power went out during the deep freeze, which is why they were lashing out and threatening us.


And then no one has been available to speak to among real life friends for days. They seem to only want to talk to me when things do _not_ seem like they are running smoothly. My aunt says it is the "they love me more as a damaged child than a responsbile and successful adult" approach; it's very manipulative and wrong.

And my oven nearly caught on fire; they are not the safest ovens to use, and food fell from the grill onto the base, which caused a lot of smoke; I had to open the windows to the sub-zero air to get it all out.


So I really don't care that I got lashed out at on gbatemp today.


I was angry that I made it through all of this, the septic shock earlier, the brown widow bites earlier, the violent drivers who nearly kill me every single day, just fine, because it's almost overwhelming. It's not that I feel that this is too good of an outcome, it's that it feels like it is a lot to take in at once. It's like getting a new black-belt; that can require years or decades in my past per belt, and even when they wrapped one around me, I had to process "Is this real? Did I actually get this?" _Days_ after walking around in it and being too sore from the tests to move normally for months. Piece by piece or even smaller chunks of this kind of violence towards me is much easier. But talking with Him in prayer calmed me down.


There have been so many other things going on, and I just want to take it easy. I didn't fall. I never wanted to give in. Even when I was tempted to exact revenge and go for the money.

It's good to mention this now. I don't hate any members here. I just want to take it easy.

If anyone wants to mock me for this or not believe any of it, or "toughen me up", I don't care. I don't feel like responding right now in a snarky fashion.

Sorry if we had a hot debate earlier, or if I seemed snarkier than usual. It's just how I handle things. I figured most don't like it if I am always straightforward, so I try to poke fun at difficult events and occasionally let you all know that I have no hard feelings against anyone, and I'm not a jerk.

 

[hippy dave]

Yeah that's a pretty bad morning. Hope the next one is better.

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[Veho]

 

[Veho]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[MPRTwice]

It's very easy to be hard on myself today. But that won't solve anything. I need to relax. It's not my fault that others have been trying to give me a difficult time.