Complete iOS Jailbreaking Device Breaking Guide
"The beat goes on" "The best paperweight money can buy!" Edition
This guide was last significantly updated on February 29, 2013 at 12:14 AM EST.
This guide is maintained by Dialexio, with help from iFish. It was based on the guide written by Danny600kill, iFish, and alidsl, but has since been rewritten.
DFU Mode, SHSH, tethered jailbreak… Who cares about
those terms? Jailbreaking your device is too complicated. Breaking your device, on the other hand, is super-easy.
Brick: Not to be confused with "brick." A brick is a device that has been rendered inoperable, except as a paperweight.
Nokia phone: Stop right here. You probably can't damage it.
Warranty: Non-existent safety net for devices.
Water sensor: Apple devices have water sensors throughout, to see if the device was submerged in a liquid or not. One of them is in the headphone jack.
YES! Jailbreak, schmailbreak… You can break any device on any firmware! If it works, it can be broken! Heck, you can even break non-iOS devices, like the Wii or LG Nexus 4!
Tch… Who cares?
Anything Almost anything can break. The only thing you need to keep an eye out for are Nokia phones. Those things are known to break even steamrollers, man.
The author(s) of this guide have done everything in their power to ensure that every step is correct, and you can and will end up with a broken result. However, things can go awry at any time. Procedures listed in this guide will most likely void your warranty, and bork whatever gadget you're using... Hope you have
SquareTrade!* Also, we will not be held responsible for any damage to your health caused by this guide.
*Please do not abuse your insurance for any reason. This is frowned upon by society and may make your policy null and void.
The Dunk Tank
Your gadgets must be jonesing for a drink... After all, when was the last time they had a drink?
...My thoughts exactly.
What You'll Need:
- A bathtub
- Hot water/A water heater
- A paintstick (or something to stir with)
- Table salt (optional, but recommended)
Guide
- Fill your bathtub with scalding hot water.
- Pour in some good ol' table salt. (The salt you throw outside on icy paths should work too.)
- Stir vigorously.
- Throw your
dog gadgets in for a bath. For best results, make sure they are unplugged (for safety reasons).
- If you happen to have spare or almost-dead batteries, throw them in too.
- Stir vigorously.
- Drain the water.
- If your device is known to have liquid sensors (e.g. an iPod), you may want to squirt a drop of bleach on it. (Apple likes to use the headphone port for that.)
Irreversibly Opening (and Ruining) Your Device
What's more fun than having a fully-functional device? Undoing everything that makes it work!
What You'll Need:
- Access to concrete
- Safety scissors
- Solder + Soldering gun/iron
- Anti-static wrist strap
- Optional: A pet, friend, or relative
Guide
- Hold your device in your hand.
- Go outside. It's a beautiful day.
- Toss it in the air, and onto the sidewalk. (Alternatively, you can play fetch with your pet, or catch with another person… First one to drop it wins!)
CAUTION: Make sure the device does not land on your head. For safety reasons, you may choose to wear a bicycle helmet.
- After a few drops, the device should in multiple pieces, or a panel should be removable.
- Since we will be working with a device's internals, be sure to wear your anti-static wrist strap.
- Disconnect the battery or power supply once you're inside. If you cannot disconnect it (e.g. it's soldered), gently hack away at its wires with safety scissors.
- ...On second thought, you might want a powered-up CPU. Solder a few connections to the CPU pins. If no CPU pins are exposed, rub the CPU with sandpaper until circuitry is exposed.
- Uh... I guess that's it?
Alternatively, iFixit has a
wonderful video highlighting a way to open an iPad. This should work for all devices with at least one glass side.
"KILL IT WITH FIRE!"
Phones don't need firewalls to stay safe; they need
fire walls.
What You'll Need:
- Match, lighter, or flamethrower
- Gasoline
- Anti-static mat
- Aerosol spray deodorant, hairspray, or sunblock
Guide
- Hold your device in your hand.
- Go outside. It's a beautiful day.
- Lay out the anti-static mat.
- Soak it in gasoline. Do not use all of it up at once.
- Place the device on it.
- Douse the device with gasoline.
- Set it on fire.
- After waiting a few minutes, it might be a good idea to remove the device from the fire. Spray your hands and arms with the deodorant/sunblock and retrieve it.
CAUTION: I have found that, on occasion, your arm may catch on fire. If this happens, use whatever gasoline you have left to put it out. So apparently, the fact that gasoline is inflammable means that it burns easily. Huh... Who would've thought?
- Since your arms and device are on fire now, you should probably stop, drop, and roll, and call for help or something.
More to come!
Dealing with Support
Broken screen?
I've lost track of how many times I've seen or heard of an iPhone with a crack in its front... And I don't even advertise being able to replace the front glass! Here's some advice that should help you convince your Apple Store Genius that your iPhone was defective.
- Gorilla Glass is supposed to be durable, but this thing cracked after I ran over it with my pickup truck.
- It came like this when I received it from UPS (or FedEx, whichever you despise more).
- An Apple Store Specialist in Grand Central tripped, and the phone took a dive from the balcony.
Brick?
Murphy's Law states, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Just because it has an Apple logo on it doesn't mean it's exempt!
- I noticed the display's colors were too cold, so I threw the iPad in the microwave and hit "Frozen Dinner." Now it doesn't work.
- A virus must be preventing the iPad from turning on.
- The device said it was too hot to operate, so I thought dunking it in the bathtub to cool it down was a good idea.
- Wait, hooking an iPad up to a car battery doesn't make it charge faster?!
Scuffed back?
WD-40 solves all of your problems. For future reference, cover your device in duct tape. Not only will your device be scratch-proof, it will also look ugly as !@#$ and nobody will want to steal it. Easy-peasy.
- What happened to the jailbreaking stuff?
- Jailbreaking? I'm done with that crap. Nothing epic happens anymore. A new firmware that plugs vulnerabilities is released, then the jailbreak devs just sit with their thumbs up their ass for seven months while asking for donations. Lather, rinse, repeat.
AРRIL FОOLS! The guide will return at midnight on Арril 2 (EST).
- Could you at least provide an outdated version of the guide?
- No. That could really mess up your device and leak your personal info everywhere.
AРRIL FОOLS!
- Is this an April Fool's joke?
- I'm sick of saying it, so I'll let this cat answer you for me.
AРRIL FОOLS!
- ...Is that a Rickroll link?
- Are you seriously asking this? Rickrolling is so 2008.
AРRIL FОOLS! (But seriously, it's not a Rickroll.)
- What's next for you?
- I'm gonna write a jailbreaking fanfiction. Look forward to it! 
AРRIL FОOLS!
Credits
Current Writers: Dialexio, iFish
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Errors? I don't care; you really shouldn't need a guide like this to break your device!
@
Xdqwerty:
