over a year ago, i fell to a disorder named ruminative ocd, and in the beginning phases of it, i was left bedridden for a week straight. i was in so much fear and confusion, that i was pretty much left paralyzed, unable to leave bed, it felt like too much to handle at once. i was deeply lost in my own head, thinking of things the people around me couldnt even comprehend, as i laid there, solid in fear. i was pondering time, space, biology, the very dna that makes us up. it felt like i was lost in a dark room inside my own head, except that room had no walls, it was just aimless darkness. in this time, it truly felt like i had died. it felt like i had left my body, died, and was seamlessly reattached, and revived without me realizing it. (continued)