"Does this make you uncomfortable" check

[helmiescape]

Hey so I am MtF and I have been on HRT since I was 18, I'm in my mid-20's now. I have become kind of burnt out on the notion of trying to present female and I realized that I no longer care what people think. I haven't quit taking them because I get bad acne whenever I stop, but I think that I want to try and get myself a girlfriend and try to have some kids. I'd probably have to find a sperm donor, but I'm colorblind anyway so having a father with stronger genes isn't really that big of a deal for me.

Do you think a cis girl would be interested in someone like me? If I changed my body do you think I'd have a shot at finding someone who isn't a degenerate, or do you think I too far gone and I should just keep dating guys and adopt? I feel like I'm depriving them of a future by not being able to give them kids. My boyfriend has been pretty supportive but I think he's also really depressed about his prospects of being able to have kids or finding a girl who is halfway decent and doesn't just eat hot chips and lie. I feel like we both could do better, but we're together out of hardship and because we live in a society.

Anyway, what would you do if you were me?

(Don't worry about offending me or misgendering, maybe i will coin this as being post-gender)

 

[SpazzyShinobi]

I think you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable. I think that anyone can find someone. So long as you both understand each other going into a relationship you aren't depriving anyone of anything. They know exactly what they're doing. If they're with you it means they want to be with you.

 

[BETA215]

Keep in mind you're in your 20s, and life doesn't necessarily has to be a certain pre-defined way. You'll go thru' different phases in your life, feeling different things, and it's important to keep that in mind. Your current experience doesn't reflects what may happen later in your life.

Do want you currently find best, but mainly centered in your own desires. You'll find different kinds of people in your life with different needs and tastes, don't limit or modify yourself just to fit into somebody's else life plan.

I absolutely understand what you're feeling now... I'm feeling related things, in some way. So it's a bit like telling you and repeating all this to me at the same time.

TL;DR: Focus in yourself rather than other people's desire. You'll find new people, just try to be strong and seek for help if you feel you can't.

 

[AncientBoi]

Me, I can only imagine what you are going through. And it scares me in not wanting to change my gender. I do tend to cross dress now n then, and I like doing it. As others have said "Be Strong" and find what you are looking for. I see it in you.

 

[helmiescape]

I think you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable. I think that anyone can find someone. So long as you both understand each other going into a relationship you aren't depriving anyone of anything. They know exactly what they're doing. If they're with you it means they want to be with you.

It's nice to hear someone say that. It'd be a wonderful thing, I think, if it really was that simple. I don't personally believe that anyone has that level of control over themselves, the way I see things, it's more like people have a set amount of pivotal moments in life in which they can make decisions. My boyfriend chose to be with me, I think because he feels helpless about the state of the world and sees me as being the strong one in the relationship. That said, he digs into me all the time, and I feel like I've failed to meet his expectations. I think he probably does enjoy my company and like me somewhat, and he considers it better than being alone. I guess I just feel like I should be a better person, since someone is putting so much faith in me.

Keep in mind you're in your 20s, and life doesn't necessarily has to be a certain pre-defined way. You'll go thru' different phases in your life, feeling different things, and it's important to keep that in mind. Your current experience doesn't reflects what may happen later in your life.

Do want you currently find best, but mainly centered in your own desires. You'll find different kinds of people in your life with different needs and tastes, don't limit or modify yourself just to fit into somebody's else life plan.

I absolutely understand what you're feeling now... I'm feeling related things, in some way. So it's a bit like telling you and repeating all this to me at the same time.

TL;DR: Focus in yourself rather than other people's desire. You'll find new people, just try to be strong and seek for help if you feel you can't.

I think you're right, ultimately nothing happens if I don't improve my craft but the passing of a day. So many people it seems aren't able to sustain themselves, or find a way to manage. It's a struggle for everyone. I will be rooting for you, too!

Me, I can only imagine what you are going through. And it scares me in not wanting to change my gender. I do tend to cross dress now n then, and I like doing it. As others have said "Be Strong" and find what you are looking for. I see it in you.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with liking to crossdress. You can decouple that from wanting to be trans, and I really don't like how there's this false dichotomy you run into in trans spaces where people insist that enjoying crossdressing or liking dudes makes you either an "egg" or a "repressor", as if internalizing the meme was inevitable and something innate to you. Put another way, people reaffirming their own decisions through others like that takes something we might have otherwise considered a behavior or a pastime and made it into an identity, which can co-opt our desires and goals if we haven't matured and developed them strongly by choice.

I think, when I made the decision to transition, I did it because I felt inadequate, like I just didn't have a future, so why bother, sort of thing. Now that I'm older, I regret thinking that way, because even though I enjoy being feminine and having a supporting role in someone's life, it made me unprepared for being on my own. It only took my former boyfriend breaking up with me and then immediately turning around and having kids with a cis girl for me to feel like it's just not something I can rely on, or ethically do. If anything the last few months I've really gotten to see how easily influenced I am by other people.

 

[The Catboy]

I am a rather gender-nonconforming individual, I am intersex and on HRT. I honestly think how you compose and present yourself is rather important and that you just need to be comfortable with yourself. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn't happy with how they are living. I also believe trans girls shouldn't need to be hyperfeminine or even feminine. Cis women aren't required to be either of those and trans women shouldn't be either. That being said, I think it's worth realizing that your transition is for you, not anyone else. If you are happy on hormones but not happy trying to present as female, then you don't have to. You need to find happiness for yourself and others will love you for that.