... except really, reaaaaaally not. (like 100% not!)
... YES! im former staff here!
.. waits for applause
... no applause, still grinning, still waiting!!
My name is David.
Im old now, i was young once.. a long time ago i was studying journalism and, for a while, i was a proper, "card-carrying" journalist!
that was a fun 15 months of my life.
My old GBAtemp account was already ancient by then.
Lurker during the "romsite"-era *wink wink* and joined the regular forum a little later.
Im old, HOW OLD WAS HE?? *waiting for applause*
... old enough to actually know and ACTUALLY use "flashme"... no further comment <3
My name is David. I am severely disabled by mental illness.
Yep.
That is what i really am, that is what im really LIKE.
Been here for a while, for a while LONGER than youd think.
Let me tell you about gbatemp and what i was like when i was young!
My name was STILL David (not EVERY crazy automatically means Personality-disorder ya know!!)
Back then "the temp" was a smaller community of crazies, almost as bad as me.
In the EARLY!!!!-days it was even okay to download *HUSH*!! rom-files... from the site!
(i know... SHOCKING!!) Back then we had Ads for sites with "panda" in the name, selling products that let you load DS-files from the GBA-slot... *hushed silence!*
I registered my account soon after (who could STOP us, right? FREE SLOT2!!! <3 )
GBAtemp was a lot smaller back then (Chari was already there, so was Bortz, VINSCOOL was RUMORED!! to be mod soon (ive seen THAT coming a mile away... BORN to be a mod he was,,, just fyi just saying..)
Back then youd see BORTZ on the frontpage, all the time, always friendl... always exactly the kinda dude youd like to introduce to your parents as "your new friend".
Kind, supportive, positive, the kind of human being youd remember fondly a decade later, just by NAME alone.
I know it doesnt matter now, but BORTZ was so kind to me before i ever did anything worthy of the main-page, wothy of... GBAtemp, tbh, i never forgot that. x65943 reminded me of that today and i NEVER forgot.
so, i was hired to be part of the news staff (chari already going STRONG!!! (always was)) and i was so proud!
I was, at the time, an "actual card-carrying journalist"
*cough cough*
COUGH HARD!!!
So... you get those as students in germany. All you need is to be part of a "school of higher education" in germany.
Honestly, differences between countries, even in the SMALL things can be HARSH.
i can say even IF!! anyone cared or knew... no one EVER made me feel any lesser, not for a second.
The problem wasnt that i was wasnt willing, nor excited!
This WAS my big moment!
The problem was that... i was mentally ill.
Still am. After 3 years of therapy, more than once a week, im NOT healed.
Im Not perfect.
So many of you, so kindly, replied to my thread, reaching out when my mother passed away. and you did.
I felt a community forming around me, a reply every few minutes. Staff, members... anyone, all the time.
Im not sure any of you really understand what that meant to me. Words cant do it justice.
... Yes, i cared. Yes, lord knows.... i fucking needed it, every last post.
For a few days THAT is what kept me going. i had NOTHING else. NOTHING.
My name is David. I applied to joing the GBAtemp news-team, i had the qualifications, i was treated and welcomed as a friend... but i was mentally ill. Thats it. The whole story.
You can respect a person like that, you can LOVE a person like that, but if you want to do a news-section like THAT on GBAtemp going... like THAT?
You need Chari... not ME.
Thats it. i did NOT deliver. i did NOT live up to my role.
honestly, i made a mockery of myself. It did NOT! take long for costello to tell me exactly that i was NOT helping GBAtemp advance.
He wasnt mean, he wasnt dishonest... he was 100% correct.
My name is David and im not entirely sure how many of you realize hwo long writing this took, how hard it was after so many years... or thati asked local staff to PLEASE check every word of this first before people get a chance to read this.
When i was (very) young, people called me KingpinSlim.
I asked, kindly, for the staff to remove me once i nboticed i was NOT able to do right by GBAtemp.
Years later, under this nickname, i rejoined, because. honestly, i missed it. every part of it.
... because i wanted to cum home.
... YES! im former staff here!
.. waits for applause
... no applause, still grinning, still waiting!!
My name is David.
Im old now, i was young once.. a long time ago i was studying journalism and, for a while, i was a proper, "card-carrying" journalist!
that was a fun 15 months of my life.
My old GBAtemp account was already ancient by then.
Lurker during the "romsite"-era *wink wink* and joined the regular forum a little later.
Im old, HOW OLD WAS HE?? *waiting for applause*
... old enough to actually know and ACTUALLY use "flashme"... no further comment <3
My name is David. I am severely disabled by mental illness.
Yep.
That is what i really am, that is what im really LIKE.
Been here for a while, for a while LONGER than youd think.
Let me tell you about gbatemp and what i was like when i was young!
My name was STILL David (not EVERY crazy automatically means Personality-disorder ya know!!)
Back then "the temp" was a smaller community of crazies, almost as bad as me.
In the EARLY!!!!-days it was even okay to download *HUSH*!! rom-files... from the site!
(i know... SHOCKING!!) Back then we had Ads for sites with "panda" in the name, selling products that let you load DS-files from the GBA-slot... *hushed silence!*
I registered my account soon after (who could STOP us, right? FREE SLOT2!!! <3 )
GBAtemp was a lot smaller back then (Chari was already there, so was Bortz, VINSCOOL was RUMORED!! to be mod soon (ive seen THAT coming a mile away... BORN to be a mod he was,,, just fyi just saying..)
Back then youd see BORTZ on the frontpage, all the time, always friendl... always exactly the kinda dude youd like to introduce to your parents as "your new friend".
Kind, supportive, positive, the kind of human being youd remember fondly a decade later, just by NAME alone.
I know it doesnt matter now, but BORTZ was so kind to me before i ever did anything worthy of the main-page, wothy of... GBAtemp, tbh, i never forgot that. x65943 reminded me of that today and i NEVER forgot.
so, i was hired to be part of the news staff (chari already going STRONG!!! (always was)) and i was so proud!
I was, at the time, an "actual card-carrying journalist"
*cough cough*
COUGH HARD!!!
So... you get those as students in germany. All you need is to be part of a "school of higher education" in germany.
Honestly, differences between countries, even in the SMALL things can be HARSH.
i can say even IF!! anyone cared or knew... no one EVER made me feel any lesser, not for a second.
The problem wasnt that i was wasnt willing, nor excited!
This WAS my big moment!
The problem was that... i was mentally ill.
Still am. After 3 years of therapy, more than once a week, im NOT healed.
Im Not perfect.
So many of you, so kindly, replied to my thread, reaching out when my mother passed away. and you did.
I felt a community forming around me, a reply every few minutes. Staff, members... anyone, all the time.
Im not sure any of you really understand what that meant to me. Words cant do it justice.
... Yes, i cared. Yes, lord knows.... i fucking needed it, every last post.
For a few days THAT is what kept me going. i had NOTHING else. NOTHING.
My name is David. I applied to joing the GBAtemp news-team, i had the qualifications, i was treated and welcomed as a friend... but i was mentally ill. Thats it. The whole story.
You can respect a person like that, you can LOVE a person like that, but if you want to do a news-section like THAT on GBAtemp going... like THAT?
You need Chari... not ME.
Thats it. i did NOT deliver. i did NOT live up to my role.
honestly, i made a mockery of myself. It did NOT! take long for costello to tell me exactly that i was NOT helping GBAtemp advance.
He wasnt mean, he wasnt dishonest... he was 100% correct.
My name is David and im not entirely sure how many of you realize hwo long writing this took, how hard it was after so many years... or thati asked local staff to PLEASE check every word of this first before people get a chance to read this.
When i was (very) young, people called me KingpinSlim.
I asked, kindly, for the staff to remove me once i nboticed i was NOT able to do right by GBAtemp.
Years later, under this nickname, i rejoined, because. honestly, i missed it. every part of it.
... because i wanted to cum home.
