Well? What is it?
This is a question I ask myself often. The simplest answer I can give to you is - I’m a thinker. I always think. Constantly contemplating. I’m pointlessly pondering about my past, my future, my current position and my final destination. You, the reader, may believe this is a good thing. I believe the complete opposite. While I admit it comes in handy oftentimes, it also equally disturbs me. Because of the bipolarity that’s included within this label, I cannot efficiently come to a conclusion I’m satisfied with. This generates a strong uncertainty in my fragile life. And if I were to come to a conclusion, it’ll take a millennia to achieve it. Sometimes I choose to ignore the potentiality of a conclusion. I avoid it all together and come up with a new thing to discuss or question about. Labels are a difficult subject to discuss. For each of us humans, there are seemingly millions of labels to live behind, yet none to exist ahead of. By this statement, I mean you cannot “beat” another label - let alone your own label. You cannot be better than the next. We are all unique, each person is the best at what they do. Considering competition into terms of personality is a major flaw. No label is identical. Sure, you can have thousands of “thinkers” in the world. They’re all named under the “same” label, except they aren’t really the same. They have experienced different things and their brains generate different things.
I like to imagine a dark room with a massive wall of sticky notes. On a certain part of the wall, it’s lit up. This means you can only see what’s presented to you at said time. On each sticky note is a label. This wall is present throughout your entire life. From birth to death. You have two options, you can gander at the wall and choose a sticky note to be categorized under, or you can wait and see what else the wall has to offer at a later time. As you move on with life, and experience new events and make choices, certain sections will illuminate, and other sections will darken. This reveals new labels to live by, and hides the ones you could have chosen. Once again you have a choice. You can pick from the new selection, or wait until new notes are shown. Some labels will repeat, too - giving you multiple chances to choose that label.
Some people will never choose a label. They will infinitely question and contemplate the choices - in hope they find a new label that feels representational to them. This whole idea of mine is enforced off the film “Derek DelGaudio’s In & Of Itself.” In the film, he questions the label he chose - The Rouletiesta. Throughout multiple scenes, Derek tells the story of The Rouletiesta. He says this was an ordinary man, with a hidden gift. This man? He could survive the game - Russian Roulette. After beating the challenge many times, he was rich and famous. Although, he let himself be defined by this, and it got him killed. He believed since he was so special and so lucky - he was untouchable.
What about me? I can never get a set-in-stone answer. Even though I’m a thinker, I can’t think of a good response. Labeling myself under such a broad term is the best thing for me. It opens new potential for new labels. In the end - I despise labels. I believe we shouldn’t define ourselves the way we’re expected to. Although this may be what I think, I’m not too sure if there’s another appropriate way of definition. Considering my way of thinking, I see a label as something we must obey. Something we have to live by. When we don’t, we lose faith in ourselves and cause destruction to our legacy. A label is a term given to us - we’re expected to carry this label until we are given another. Sure, you can always change your label, but does it really mean anything? So many questions. Each makes me think deeper and deeper. Explanations turn into rants. These create an uncertainty in my visage of life.
This is a question I ask myself often. The simplest answer I can give to you is - I’m a thinker. I always think. Constantly contemplating. I’m pointlessly pondering about my past, my future, my current position and my final destination. You, the reader, may believe this is a good thing. I believe the complete opposite. While I admit it comes in handy oftentimes, it also equally disturbs me. Because of the bipolarity that’s included within this label, I cannot efficiently come to a conclusion I’m satisfied with. This generates a strong uncertainty in my fragile life. And if I were to come to a conclusion, it’ll take a millennia to achieve it. Sometimes I choose to ignore the potentiality of a conclusion. I avoid it all together and come up with a new thing to discuss or question about. Labels are a difficult subject to discuss. For each of us humans, there are seemingly millions of labels to live behind, yet none to exist ahead of. By this statement, I mean you cannot “beat” another label - let alone your own label. You cannot be better than the next. We are all unique, each person is the best at what they do. Considering competition into terms of personality is a major flaw. No label is identical. Sure, you can have thousands of “thinkers” in the world. They’re all named under the “same” label, except they aren’t really the same. They have experienced different things and their brains generate different things.
I like to imagine a dark room with a massive wall of sticky notes. On a certain part of the wall, it’s lit up. This means you can only see what’s presented to you at said time. On each sticky note is a label. This wall is present throughout your entire life. From birth to death. You have two options, you can gander at the wall and choose a sticky note to be categorized under, or you can wait and see what else the wall has to offer at a later time. As you move on with life, and experience new events and make choices, certain sections will illuminate, and other sections will darken. This reveals new labels to live by, and hides the ones you could have chosen. Once again you have a choice. You can pick from the new selection, or wait until new notes are shown. Some labels will repeat, too - giving you multiple chances to choose that label.
Some people will never choose a label. They will infinitely question and contemplate the choices - in hope they find a new label that feels representational to them. This whole idea of mine is enforced off the film “Derek DelGaudio’s In & Of Itself.” In the film, he questions the label he chose - The Rouletiesta. Throughout multiple scenes, Derek tells the story of The Rouletiesta. He says this was an ordinary man, with a hidden gift. This man? He could survive the game - Russian Roulette. After beating the challenge many times, he was rich and famous. Although, he let himself be defined by this, and it got him killed. He believed since he was so special and so lucky - he was untouchable.
What about me? I can never get a set-in-stone answer. Even though I’m a thinker, I can’t think of a good response. Labeling myself under such a broad term is the best thing for me. It opens new potential for new labels. In the end - I despise labels. I believe we shouldn’t define ourselves the way we’re expected to. Although this may be what I think, I’m not too sure if there’s another appropriate way of definition. Considering my way of thinking, I see a label as something we must obey. Something we have to live by. When we don’t, we lose faith in ourselves and cause destruction to our legacy. A label is a term given to us - we’re expected to carry this label until we are given another. Sure, you can always change your label, but does it really mean anything? So many questions. Each makes me think deeper and deeper. Explanations turn into rants. These create an uncertainty in my visage of life.
