I know how to handle tits

Yeah, so I came to the conclusion that I know how to handle and milk tits.

Let me explain. See, I'm a farmer. I milk cows. And I'm just on my friends farm, basically doing relief work. I work 2 hours a day, 10 bucks an hour, but if there's other work that needs to be done, we get paid for that too. My schedule consists of Monday-Wednesday Morning, Thursday-Friday.

Anyways, my boss tells me that some of his friends are trying to convince him to let me go so they can hire me. Which is kind of flattering, but I'm not going to accept the job offers or anything.

And I gave it some thinking today too as to WHY they would want to hire me. And the only thing that I can think of is that, I'm always on time, sometimes 5 minutes early, I'm reliable. I listen really good, I can work by myself, I don't screw up the machines, and I brought the Numatic Cell Count down to 20,000 which is really good as not even the boss got it that low. (Numatic Cell Count is basically the bad stuff that comes from a cows tit).

Anyways, just posting a quick update about hows life going. Not getting a whole lot of playtime with Zelda though, so that makes me sad. Though I got Star Fox pre-ordered. And after that, I got Mario and Mario Kart pre-ordered too. I love having money.

Comments

Nujui
(Misleading Title) :creep:

But anyway, that's pretty nice.

Though I've never milked a cow before, I kinda imagine it feeling weird.
 
machomuu
[quote name='ShadowSoldier' post='3852689' date='Aug 25 2011, 11:37 AM']I love having money.[/quote]
I hate you :glare:
 
S
[quote name='KirbyBoy' post='3852698' date='Aug 25 2011, 08:41 AM'](Misleading Title) :creep:

But anyway, that's pretty nice.

Though I've never milked a cow before, I kinda imagine it feeling weird.[/quote]

Weird at first because it's awkward. But it's more stupid more than anything now. Cows are the dumbest creatures alive, and they're also the grosses creatures alive. They'll walk but still shit and piss, they don't give a fuck. You put new sawdust in their stalls, they kick it out. And then when you're putting the machine on them, they'll kick it off, it's annoying. Or when they're being milked, they'll just randomly shit and piss over the machines.

A couple of times when I'm milking them by myself, the cows lift up their legs and go to take swipes at my head. Almost got me a few times too.

I only work 6-7am, then 5-6pm. We only have 39 cows, but we're getting 6 more. And the farms that are looking to hire me, they have a couple hundred cows. This is what our parlor somewhat looks like.


100_1571comp.JPG


Except that's a double 10, we only have a double 6, so we can only milk 6 cows at a time on each side.
 
S
[quote name='sinharvest24' post='3852716' date='Aug 25 2011, 08:51 AM']I came in here expecting tits tips.

I was disappointed.


It seems life is good being a farmer.[/quote]

Look at it like this, you don't have to lift weights or exercise as your constantly getting a workout. And not to mention Hay over at the farm I work at, is about 50-80 pounds for each bail, and we have to stack over 1000 of them each year. You get used to being able to toss them as if they're nothing.
 
Vulpes Abnocto
So the way you handle tits is to...turn on the suction and stick a hose up to them?
After doing the job by hand, it seems like cheating to me.

(We never had so many cattle on our farm)
 
_Chaz_
I read the title and had to come in.

I wasn't disappointed either, congrats on the milking success.
 
ecko
[quote name='_Chaz_' post='3852739' date='Aug 25 2011, 12:13 PM']I read the title and had to come in.

I wasn't disappointed either, congrats on the milking success.[/quote]
i was disappointed :(

seems the title is working though, 28 users reading
 
S
[quote name='Vulpes Abnocto' post='3852726' date='Aug 25 2011, 09:01 AM']So the way you handle tits is to...turn on the suction and stick a hose up to them?
After doing the job by hand, it seems like cheating to me.

(We never had so many cattle on our farm)[/quote]

It's not cheating really. Back in the 50's when the grandpa ran the farm, I was looking at some of the equipment he used. It's just like it is today, except you could only do one cow by hand, and you had to hold the claw up to them. But now you just put the claw on a little hook, and it comes off when the cows done milking. The only real difference is that.. well.. you can do a lot more today than you could back then.

Like yesterday and today, I went to this other person's farm, and they have upgraded equipment. So the cows come in, the stand on the platform, and the machine spins around. Here's some videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5061Atqhn4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01tBZhIrHQ8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTPXCf_p2I8
 
Vulpes Abnocto
I'm just messing with ya. It's certainly not cheating; it's rather ingenious.
A farmer's jobs are never done, so anything that makes each task less of a chore is a boon.
 
mameks
That's actually pretty cool o:
I milked a goat once, but I was too little at the time to milk the cow :c
 
S
[quote name='Vulpes Abnocto' post='3852751' date='Aug 25 2011, 09:19 AM']I'm just messing with ya. It's certainly not cheating; it's rather ingenious.
A farmer's jobs are never done, so anything that makes each task less of a chore is a boon.[/quote]

It really isn't, especially on that farm. It's so old, and outdated because the owner (the grandpa) is too cheap as fuck to get anything that the farm needs. And because of it, it makes life hell when machines are breaking down, or vehicles and you can get fields done.

I have managed to figure out a few shortcuts for milking cows, where I can keep going at one constant pace without any breaks or anything and get the cows out in an hour, but when it gets really hot here (35c), it's so hard to keep your concentration. Because the cows are pissed because of the heat, they kick off the machines and just make life hell for you.
 

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