A Quandary

I'm not sure I should be posting this, but hey, why not? Though it doesn't feel like a good choice for a first blog post. Anyway, as the title suggests, I'm in a bit of a quandary. Hearing some opinions about it might be nice.

I'm not a frequent user of Temp. Well, pretty frequent actually, but just lurking and reading, not feeling any great motivation to participate. I have felt like participating sometimes, but the feeling doesn't last long. I'm content to use content or responding in my head to what people are saying in forums. A while ago... this account was made in 2014, that's not a while ago anymore, whoops (my sense of time is a little shot)... I made this account to ask questions about hardmodding my new 3DS XL. Which I managed to do successfully but I've never been able to test if NAND dumping actually worked, because I don't have the proper SD card reader. Some time after that, I forgot the login details. Both the password and which email this account was registered to. Which I discovered two days ago, yay. So here I am logging in again, after successfully resetting the password.

I created an account only in the last few years but have been visiting since around 2005, when the KXploit for PSP came out for firmware 1.50. Good times. Maybe I've visited before than, but it was just another site then. After making an account and asking my questions, I kind of wanted to participate and contribute by making custom 3DS themes. I even started on one. But that all kinda fell by the wayside. Fast forward to now though and for the past several months, I've thought of swearing GBATemp off. Maybe the odd visitation for news or instructions, but definitely avoiding the forums and not making or logging into any account. The reason being that there's a certain toxicity here. A misfortune that a great amount of the userbase here intersects with certain other sites. Especially drawn out by recent-ish politcal developments the world over. The same feeling as Smealum when he remarked, by means of a picture, "Even when you're not expecting anything, you're still disappointed." Or similar enough to that. Then Aurora Wright took off. Even Crystal/Lilith, though she came back. I lost respect for some users I respected or even admired. And while I knew, given the kind of tinkerers here, that a style of users would be here, I had no idea how many.

So there it is. I don't know whether to stay or go. I'm inclined to be a mostly non-user on principle, but I'm conflicted. Not that I imagine anyone really cares, given that I'm just some random user, but maybe some people would be interested in throwing in their two cents. I'm particularly curious why some users, who are probably somewhat bothered by the same, stay and participate.

PS. Not to mention I don't really like my user name, but there's not really any way of changing it without creating a new account.
PPS. Sorry for the stuffy way of writing, I can't really help it while uncomfortable and nervous.
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FAST6191
"The reason being that there's a certain toxicity here. A misfortune that a great amount of the userbase here intersects with certain other sites. Especially drawn out by recent-ish politcal developments the world over."
People mention toxicity from time to time but at the same time seem to be unable to point at instances of it. As far as political things go there seems to be a fairly decent spread and I would probably view it more as no chance of me finding myself in an echo chamber, and beyond that people don't seem to be run off the site for any of the "political" reasons you allude to, and that has been the case the entire time I have been here. I would usually phrase it as "Do you like games? Welcome then, we do a lot of hacking here so probably best to be able to live with that as well. If you can bring reason and evidence to discussions and positions you are taking then you will fit in even better.".
People here are not overly concerned with feelings but that is not a bad thing from where I sit -- I tend to treat it like a construction site, workshop or pub, which is to say there is going to be swearing and a lack of diplomatic phrasing.

"I can't really help it while uncomfortable and nervous."
Why are you uncomfortable or nervous? It is just text on the internet.
 
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Uiaad
I think i can answer this one, anxiety can be powerful even online. It's the fear of not knowing how your words are going to be taken and what sort of replies your going to get.

I do suffer from anxiety, even online i tend to struggle with it but that more of thing thats happened more and more over the last few years, so I know how you feel
 
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The Real Jdbye
Stick around, try to be more active, and help to make the forums a better place by being positive, that's my suggestion. You learn to ignore the shitposting and flaming after a while (and the report button is right there so you can help get such posts removed) and GBAtemp is actually a really nice community to be part of despite all the shitposting.
Also, seeing as you have few posts, you could probably request to have your username changed. For people with a lot of posts, they usually wouldn't do it, since it might cause confusion.
 
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aykay55
To be brutally honest, I feel like like you've exaggerated a lot of the evidence that made your argument valid. First thing, what the heck is a quandary? *quick google search* Really though, this toxicity you speak of isn't as huge as you make it out to be. In everything you do, everywhere you go, everywhere you look, there are gonna be people like that. It's just the way some people are. You can't call out a public forum for its userbase. The mods here do wonders filtering the crap from the cookies. And if someone is annoying/trolling/harassing you, report them like you're supposed to. As for politics......no. You don't have to agree with everything posted on this forum, there different things for different people. If there is some politics-related debate, just ignore it, you don't have to bother. There, I've said it all.

Here are my two cents: Yes, there are annoying trolls on this forum. Yes, there are annoying threads on this forum. Yes, there are relatively useless discussions here which waste space on GBATemp servers. Yes, there are newbies who who post the same question over and over again, not even realizing they could search for a thread first. Yes, there are annoying assholes who think that everything will be handed to them. I just ignore it, block it, or report it. I don't let others ruin my experience on the Temp. I stay on GBAtemp, participate in what I can, and try to give good vibes to everyone I interact with here. I suggest that you should start doing the same by helping out others when you can. And though this sounds very cliche, you aren't just a random user, you're a member of the Temp, and without you the Temp wouldn't be the same. Literally, you wouldn't be there, which is a big difference. "At the end of it all, we learn it's all about love - !" Sorry. At the end of it all, you choose your path. I just tried to reason with you, I hope you spend my two cents on something worthwhile, like a legit Fortnite setup. Anyway, ta ta. Hope to see you around.

"Uncomfortable and nervous."
Bruh.......
 
qqq1
Threads like these are nothing but an attention grab. No one forced you to be here. If you don't like it you don't have to come back. No one cares.
 
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VinsCool
It's when I recommend to develop a physical filter.

The handful of toxic members don't outbeat the huge amount of genuinely good folk around here.
 
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Taffy
I misread the title as "A Quadrinary" and started thinking about what a quardrinary star system would be like.
...I probably misspelled it but whatever. Forget unary or binary stars, we've got trinary and quadrinary stars!
...maybe I'm watching too many space documentaries. But astronomy is awesome.

Stick around a bit. There are some nice people here, mixed in with the weirdos.

But the nice people can be weirdos too so look carefully.

tbh, most of the "toxicity" I see is the "uuuugghhh" when we get threads for dumb questions for the third time in a week.

But you get to laugh at the people complaining then, so it's all good.
 
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Xue
@FAST6191 I intentionally did not point to any specific instances of toxicity but there are plenty of examples. I don't want to touch the political topic too much, though "ideology" may have been more appropriate. An echo chamber isn't good but neither is a war zone. Anyway...

As for discomfort and nerves, I'm not the type to put something out on blast like this. It might be anonymous text on the internet, but I can't easily remove myself from it. So it's a bit anxiety provoking.

@uiaad Thanks. You put it pretty accurately.

@The Real Jdbye Do you know who/where I'd go to or a username change?

@aykay55 I don't think I've exaggerated but I suppose the experience might be different depending on how personally affected you might be by the subject matter. For example, one might not like racists, but chances are good it's a different experience if you're a target of said racism or not (random example). I don't think I was calling out anything, but the user experience is vastly different depending on a site's userbase.

Aye, that was indeed cliche, haha.

@qqq1 An attention grab from a lurker who made their first blog post in more than 10 years' use? Right... BTW, it's a blog post, not a thread. You'd have to be looking at my profile, the [personal] blog section, or recent content section to get here. "No one cares." Thanks for basically repeating me.

@Taffy Isn't everybody a weirdo in some way? But it's all relative? Weirdness, stars, theory of relativity...
 
FAST6191
Please do point at instances. I never seem to see any (and I am here a lot and http://gbatemp.net/new/ with the non ROM hacking 3ds sections removed is my main method of viewing the site, never used the ignore list and probably never will and actively seek out a good discussion or three for my evening's entertainment) and people claiming they are all over leaves me confused.

"but I can't easily remove myself from it. So it's a bit anxiety provoking."
While I am all for the New York Times rule (try to be happy with anything you write being a headline on such a paper) you might want to work on that.
 
qqq1
@Xue Your post is shown on the front page under "recent content". Quit crying for attention.
 
Xue
@FAST6191 "SJWs are ruining everything we love" probably stands as the most recent example. Similar content is pretty easily encountered in non exclusively game related threads, and even then it can come out of left field. There was Aurora Wright's departure. Do you know why she left? Poll results in some threads suggest where general sentiments lie.

@qqq1 Stop giving me attention. I'd love to prevent any post of mine from showing up in the recent content section. Know how? As an alternative, I believe with an account, you can remove that section from your view, but I'm unsure. Or you can simply not click on content with the little notebook icon. "You'd have to be looking at ... recent content section to get here," again, thank you for repeating me. As a side note, I might suggest CBT and "Mind Over Mood" for your unmitigated anger.
 
L
you could just keep the recent comments section from being loaded with an adblock extension, I use Ublock origin to block the twitch and youtube chat section.
 
Xue
@lordkaos That would just block the recent content section from my own view, no? My desire would be keeping my posts from showing up in recent content for anybody else.
 

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