After the chaos and riots that broke out in the Chrono Trigger thread I wrote this to give Toni some laughs. Here is TrolleyDaves Guide To GBAtemp Behaviour. It's funny AND relevant, how often do you get that from me!
TrolleyDaves Guide To GBAtemp Behaviour
1) Using GBAtemp is a priviledge not a right, treat it as such or get a slapping.
2) Be'ave son, if you don't do it in real life don't do it here. Unless you'd like to step outside like.
3) The Edge of the Forum isn't a toilet, fling shit on your own walls.
4) The rest of the forum isn't a schoolyard, you wanna argue with someone then go down the pub.
5) It's not a borstal breakout and you're probably not that tough, so don't act like it.
6) If you couldn't say it to this guy face to face then shut the fuck up.
7) The mods don't abuse their power, if you think they do then you're probably just a sooky little spoilt brat who likes to get his own way.
8) Free speech on here is a priviledge not a right. If your posts are removed then you were probably talking alot of bollocks, suck it up crybaby.
9) Posting randomness and talking shite in The Edge of the Forum is fine, talking about the colour and consitancy of it ain't - take it to your doctor fuckwit.
10) If you feel you want to insult someone who's been here longer than you then you probably feel inferior and it hurts your ego.
11) If you're new and know fuck all then behave that way you little weasel, talking shit about something you know nothing about won't gain you respect.
12) Arguing about something you know little about with people who actually do doesn't make you cool or smart, it makes you flamebait and a cunt so shut the fuck up.
13) If you're not sure about what you're saying but you spout the bollocks out like it's fact then you're an arse, shut up and listen.
14) If you're not sure you should post it then ask someone first, you're probably about to spam the board with more shite than it needs.
15) Swearing at someone doesn't make you tough, it just means you can post swear words.
16) Trolling with humour can be fun, but don't do it - we've got resident trolls who know how to behave already and our quota is full.
17) If you're posting just to get up someones back then you're not cool, you're an arse.
18) Feel like you've been mistreated? Well then you've probably never lived in the real world. Go out, experience it and then come back and see just how pleasent this place really is.
19) If you're looking for a fight then come see TrolleyDave, he's friendly but he's got a temper and he really don't mind a bit of physical violence.
20) How many fights have you had in reality? Probably none, so act that way here too.
21) You think you're a thug because you once stole money from your parents? You're not a thug, you're an arsehole. Learn some fuckin manners son and then apply them here.
22) Arguing doesn't make you cool, it makes regulars think you're a cunt and not speak to you.
23) There was only 1 bonemonkey and there is only 1 p1ngpong. Copying them doesn't make you more welcome, it makes you a fashion victim and you will be treated like one.
24) If you behave like a twat who wants a slapping then don't forget to PM TrolleyDave your address so he can administer the beating you so anxiously want.
25) There's no GBAtemp tissues for little babies who want to cry cos they got told off. You should have fuckin followed the rules.
26) Been to 4chan lately? It's unique brand of bullshit and unfunny has inspired you to post? Then fuck off back there to post it you bell end. GBAtemp is not an Idiocracy in the making, that's just you and your collection of halfwitted intelligence lacking brain donor friends. If you think you're too good for 4chan, then fuck off back to that $10 4chan they call SomethingAwful.
27) Yes, some of us are wankers. Yes, some of us masturbate. No, that doesn't mean we want you posting the material you beat off to. Fuck off somewhere else with it Larry Flynt.
TrolleyDaves Guide To GBAtemp Behaviour
1) Using GBAtemp is a priviledge not a right, treat it as such or get a slapping.
2) Be'ave son, if you don't do it in real life don't do it here. Unless you'd like to step outside like.
3) The Edge of the Forum isn't a toilet, fling shit on your own walls.
4) The rest of the forum isn't a schoolyard, you wanna argue with someone then go down the pub.
5) It's not a borstal breakout and you're probably not that tough, so don't act like it.
6) If you couldn't say it to this guy face to face then shut the fuck up.
7) The mods don't abuse their power, if you think they do then you're probably just a sooky little spoilt brat who likes to get his own way.
8) Free speech on here is a priviledge not a right. If your posts are removed then you were probably talking alot of bollocks, suck it up crybaby.
9) Posting randomness and talking shite in The Edge of the Forum is fine, talking about the colour and consitancy of it ain't - take it to your doctor fuckwit.
10) If you feel you want to insult someone who's been here longer than you then you probably feel inferior and it hurts your ego.
11) If you're new and know fuck all then behave that way you little weasel, talking shit about something you know nothing about won't gain you respect.
12) Arguing about something you know little about with people who actually do doesn't make you cool or smart, it makes you flamebait and a cunt so shut the fuck up.
13) If you're not sure about what you're saying but you spout the bollocks out like it's fact then you're an arse, shut up and listen.
14) If you're not sure you should post it then ask someone first, you're probably about to spam the board with more shite than it needs.
15) Swearing at someone doesn't make you tough, it just means you can post swear words.
16) Trolling with humour can be fun, but don't do it - we've got resident trolls who know how to behave already and our quota is full.
17) If you're posting just to get up someones back then you're not cool, you're an arse.
18) Feel like you've been mistreated? Well then you've probably never lived in the real world. Go out, experience it and then come back and see just how pleasent this place really is.
19) If you're looking for a fight then come see TrolleyDave, he's friendly but he's got a temper and he really don't mind a bit of physical violence.
20) How many fights have you had in reality? Probably none, so act that way here too.
21) You think you're a thug because you once stole money from your parents? You're not a thug, you're an arsehole. Learn some fuckin manners son and then apply them here.
22) Arguing doesn't make you cool, it makes regulars think you're a cunt and not speak to you.
23) There was only 1 bonemonkey and there is only 1 p1ngpong. Copying them doesn't make you more welcome, it makes you a fashion victim and you will be treated like one.
24) If you behave like a twat who wants a slapping then don't forget to PM TrolleyDave your address so he can administer the beating you so anxiously want.
25) There's no GBAtemp tissues for little babies who want to cry cos they got told off. You should have fuckin followed the rules.
26) Been to 4chan lately? It's unique brand of bullshit and unfunny has inspired you to post? Then fuck off back there to post it you bell end. GBAtemp is not an Idiocracy in the making, that's just you and your collection of halfwitted intelligence lacking brain donor friends. If you think you're too good for 4chan, then fuck off back to that $10 4chan they call SomethingAwful.
27) Yes, some of us are wankers. Yes, some of us masturbate. No, that doesn't mean we want you posting the material you beat off to. Fuck off somewhere else with it Larry Flynt.