thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 6

[Yokimari]

I'm going to have to vote the Tiger Game.com, I had almost all those systems except the Wonderswan and the SNK Neo Geo Pocket. I enjoyed the R-Zone, reminded me of an amped up Tiger LCD game, and I enjoyed the Virtual Boy because I liked its pseudo 3D effects, despite causing me eye troubles. XD

 

[Foxi4]

The virtual boy is officially classified as a console, not a handheld. it was marketed for its "portability", yet never officially referred to as a handheld that i am aware of.

Every single device strictly dedicated to gaming is classified as a console, the division is really only "home console" and "portable console", "handheld" is just a form-factor of the portable ones. I think the Virtual Boy fits neatly into the category it's been placed in here.

 

[cracker]

How can the VB fit neatly into "handheld"? All others in this classification consist of a single piece unit (screen and controller in one) that didn't need a very shoddy stand to prop them up so you could stick your face in it. The way it was designed totally rules it out as a handheld. It was barely even treated as a portable by most who owned it because it was such a pain in the ass to take it down and take it somewhere to play.

 

[Foxi4]

How can the VB fit neatly into "handheld"? All others in this classification consist of a single piece unit (screen and controller in one) that didn't need a very shoddy stand to prop them up so you could stick your face in it. The way it was designed totally rules it out as a handheld. It was barely even treated as a portable by most who owned it because it was such a pain in the ass to take it down and take it somewhere to play.

The stand is not a quintessential part of the set and isn't required for the unit's operation. The poll is unfortunately named "Worst Handheld" wheras it should've been called "Worst Portable", but handheld is just the umbrella term people got used to. How the 5 people who bought the Virtual Boy used it is irrelevant here, the system was designed as a portable one and as such it's in this poll.

 

[DJPlace]

i only played 4 out of 7 of those and 3 were only for a few minutes and 1 of them i owned...

here's my input of them

the sega nomad=my friend i use to know owned that. he used the ac plug to play. also you can plug a controller into a slot to have 2 players. why would you do that. (unless your on a cart trip or don't own a sega gens) plus this is the first i heard of alot of games not working... plus the only game he has was that spider-man and venom in maxium carnage. so yeah i don't know more of it in my part.

virutal boy=played it once in a store after 1 minute(i think the game was mario clash or that wario land one not sure) i got a headache. then i saw one person buy the last stock system and all it's game's... way to go for blowing all your hard earned funds...

tiger.com=tiger made handhelds? the hell is this shit. it's a rip off of the old gameboy but worse the only game that the store demo had was duke nukem played it for least 5 minutes say forget it went back to the n64 station to play star fox 64

game boy color=owned it .it's the best handheld for this gen. nuff said.

 

[codezer0]

A lot of these had plenty of reason to be on this list for the worst. The lack of lighting made most of us have to endure the crap-tastic aftermarket lighting options, and even then it was a juggle between lighting or a link cable for multiplayer or those fortunate enough to actually do pokemon trading (I wasn't ). At the least t he GBC's screen was improved enough to not make playing original games on it a complete blur show.

The Virtual Boy? The only thing that has consistently battered and beaten my eyes since that contraption was Minecraft. If anything part of me is only hoping to see some VB emulation on the 3DS in part because there were a few I would want to play if i didn't have to wear that stupid headpiece. And suffice to say, one reason I'll never be able to get into VR is in large part because I don't like having my vision purposely obscured... so Oculus Rift or that Morpheus P$4 thing are just right out for me.

The Game.Com I thought would have taken the spot... managing to be the paradox of earlier and worse than the Nintendo DS in every respect. The fact it needed an external modem when people were still fighting for a landline for dialup modems was just cruel, especially when the device served was a craptastic piece of shlock.

I can't entirely fault Sega for what they were trying to do with the Nomad, but I'm annoyed that they didn't try to address 32X compatibility at all with their revisions in hardware, or even a way to boot up a Sega CD game.

The wonderswan's biggest crime was just the fact that it for all intents didn't exist... along with the NGP.

 

[Foxi4]

I can't entirely fault Sega for what they were trying to do with the Nomad, but I'm annoyed that they didn't try to address 32X compatibility at all with their revisions in hardware, or even a way to boot up a Sega CD game.

The wonderswan's biggest crime was just the fact that it for all intents didn't exist... along with the NGP.

I can't even begin to imagine how huge the handheld would be with a CD and a 32X expansion attached, it's pretty much a non-issue since with those things it wouldn't really be a portable anymore and you might as well just use a home console version of the Genesis/Mega Drive... Would be neat to look at with the two growths attached though, that's for sure.

As for the Wonderswan and the Neo Geo Pocket, the first was a Japanese exclusive, sure, but the latter was commercially available in stores, at least in my area. It wasn't terribly successful, mind you, but it was available nonetheless.

 

[Veho]

Every single device strictly dedicated to gaming is classified as a console, the division is really only "home console" and "portable console", "handheld" is just a form-factor of the portable ones. I think the Virtual Boy fits neatly into the category it's been placed in here.

On the other hand, Wikipedia says the Virtual Boy is a "table-top video game console" Now what?

Also, according to the Temp staff, a portable console consisting of a controller and a separate headset is " technically [..] not really a handheld (you) bloody chuff."

 

[thaddius]

Do people actually expect me to make a separate poll with a single entry for the Virtual Boy?

It's like no one reads my posts.

Ugh. Where does this thing belong? It’s not really a console, not really a handheld - someone will complain no matter where I put this thing.

 

[Foxi4]

On the other hand, Wikipedia says the Virtual Boy is a "table-top video game console" Now what?

Also, according to the Temp staff, a portable console consisting of a controller and a separate headset is " technically [..] not really a handheld (you) bloody chuff."

The problem with the Virtual Boy is that it's neither a full-blown home console nor is it a handheld - it's like a mutated, conjoined travesty of the two. That said, it's closer to what we understand as a portable since it has its own display and power supply instead of relying on a TV and a power adapter, so it was put here... you... trouble stirrer you!

()

 

[DJPlace]

i dare anyone to go on a public bus and play a Virtual Boy. but you would have to duct tape it around your head to keep it on. or play it in car. i think the R-zone had some sort of light gun game add-on too i think...

 

[Veho]

Do people actually expect me to make a separate poll with a single entry for the Virtual Boy?

Yes. I still want the "head-held" category

It's like no one reads my posts.

It's like you don't want us to tease Foxi

 

[Foxi4]

It's like you don't want us to tease Foxi

You can tease me - you'll never please me. 2straight4u, hombre! ;O;

 

[cracker]

Maybe benheck could make a totally new line-up of hacked head-helds!

 

[Veho]

You can tease me - you'll never please me.

I'll just have to fall back on plain old mocking, then.

 

[Another World]

How the 5 people who bought the Virtual Boy used it is irrelevant here, the system was designed as a portable one and as such it's in this poll.

you mean, the estimated 770,000 i am sure.

-another world

 

[Foxi4]

you mean, the estimated 770,000 i am sure.

In comparison to other Nintendo systems it's like a single droplet in compared to an ocean - "all 5" is very appropriate in this case.

 

[Another World]

i don't disagree that as a money maker, it was a failure. regardless, it has some fun game, a popular following, a homebrew scene, a modding community, a flash kit. saying it only has 5 owners is disrespectful and hardly appropriate in any case.

-another world

 

[Foxi4]

i don't disagree that as a money maker, it was a failure. regardless, it has some fun game, a popular following, a homebrew scene, a modding community, a flash kit. saying it only has 5 owners is disrespectful and hardly appropriate in any case.

I don't think it's disrespectful of me to judge a system with extremely low sales as... a system with extremely low sales. The Jaguar also has an avid homebrew community, but that doesn't make it a good system in any shape or form. As for the games, they can be good or bad in their own right, but they themselves don't make the actual system any better or worse, much like a poem doesn't elevate a piece of toilet roll it was written on to a higher order of paper, even if it's a really good poem. Ultimately the system was clunky, it had a small following, a small library of games and it failed - that's why I humorously use the term "all 5".

 

[Another World]

i was not attempting to imply that i did not see the "joke" you were presenting. i fully understood your point of view, yet i strongly feel that particular comment remains uncalled for.

the statement you make about games really has me confused. good or bad games do indeed make a system better or worse. the system hardware remains unaffected, but the casual claims of how good or bad it was are powerfully impacted. those who actually experienced the virtual boy are usually in agreement that it was a good system, with fun games. it attempted something different and provided some great generation-1 software to help demonstrate the possibilities. most agree that if nintendo had not limited which devs were allowed to produce software, and then scrap the relaunch, that it could have performed much better. it never would have surpassed the n64 in both sales figures and generational memories, this i am sure of. i do not fault them for getting out when they did, what i fault them for is poor marketing, nation-wide [usa] broken demo kiosks, forcibly limiting developer units, software contractual issues, and their lack of faith.

with those personal opinions made, i can admit that i am passionate about the VB. i am also well researched about this particular system. at some point the general disdain needs to end. articles are so quick to point out things which are untrue. one in particular has been the "lack" of owners, when we know more than 770,000 units were sold. they never bash on the small start-up companies who release only 3,000 units or the chinese android makers who release a new psp-looking clone each month. no, it is the virutal boy which fondly fills a space in their head dedicated for something they feel a need to hate.

hopefully the rift and project morpheus will fail to properly deliver their intended message, so that in 20 years someone can make a joke about "all 5" of those users. perhaps then they will see it from the other side of the fence.

-another world