The three little 3ds modders

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by New_Newbie, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. New_Newbie
    OP

    New_Newbie Advanced Member

    Newcomer
    76
    83
    Aug 10, 2015
    United States
    Once upon a time, there were three 3dshackers. Delebile, plutoo, and yellows8

    All three 3dshackers decided to make a 3ds exploit, and set off to the Nintendo office to buy some 3dses with the latest update.

    But soon the three little hackers came across a Man carrying a bundle of web browser exploits.

    The first hacker, yellows8, said to himself:

    “Now I won’t need to walk so far to the Nintendo office! I’d much rather do less hacking, and then spend the rest of my afternoon relaxing.”

    So yellows8 said to the Man carrying the web browser exploits:

    “Please, Man, give me those exploits so I can make a 3dshack.”

    The Man did, and yellows8 quickly built a 3dshack with it right where he stood, and then settled down and prepared to have a sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

    Presently came along Nintendo, and knocked at the door, and said, “Yellows8, yellows8, let me come in.”

    To which yellows8 answered, “No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”

    “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I'll stabilize your 3ds!” said Nintendo.

    So they huffed and they puffed, and they released a new 3ds update. Alas! Because the 3dshack had not been very well made, it became unusable, and Nintendo was able to eat the little exploit up in an instant.

    Meanwhile delebile and plutoo were still on their way to the Nintendo office. When they passed a Man with a copy of freakyformsdeluxe, plutoo said to himself:

    “Now I won’t need to walk so far to the Nintendo office! Offline exploits are way better than browser ones – I think they’ll do the job, but anyway, I’m tired now. I’d much rather do less work and then spend the rest of my afternoon relaxing.”

    So plutoo said to the Man carrying the copy of freakyformsdeluxe:

    “Please, Man, give me that game to make me a 3dshack.”

    The Man did, and plutoo quickly made an exploit with it right where he stood, and then settled down and prepared to have a sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

    Then along came Nintendo and said, “Plutoo, plutoo, let me come in.”

    “No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”

    “Then I’ll puff and I’ll huff, and I’ll stabilize your 3ds!”

    So they huffed and they puffed, and they puffed and they huffed, and at last they updated the 3ds and ate up the freakyformsdeluxe exploit.

    Finally delebile reached the Nintendo office, where he met a Man with a load of updated 3dses. He said:

    “Please, Man, give me those updated 3dses to make an exploit with.”

    The Man kindly gave him the 3dses, and he built his exploit with them a little way over, carefully, and taking the time to do it well. With his knowledge and what he's learned from yellows8 and plutoo, he created arm9loaderhax.

    So Nintendo came, as he did to the other 3ds modders, and said, “Delebile, delebile, let me come in.”

    “No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin.”

    “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll stabilize your 3ds!”

    Well, they huffed and they puffed, and they huffed and they puffed, and they puffed and they huffed; but they could not get rid of the exploit. When they found that they could not, with all their updating and stabilizing, get rid of the exploit, he said, “Delebile, I know how to make your friends envious of you.”

    “How?” said the delebile.

    “Oh, by downloading Pokemon Moon early; and if you will be ready to-morrow morning, I will call for you, and we will go together and play it online.”

    “Very well,” said delebile, “I will be ready. What time do you want to go online with it?”

    “Oh, a week before it comes out.”

    Well, delebile got up a week before it came out, and downloaded the game from that iso site and was home again before Nintendo was ready. When Nintendo came he said, “Delebile, are you ready?”

    “Ready!” said delebile, “I have been to the iso site and come back again, and now I have a working copy of Pokemon Moon. But I have not gone online.”

    Nintendo felt very angry at this, but thought that they would be up to delebile somehow or other; so they said, “Delebile, I know where there is a nice 3ds exploit.”

    “Where?” said delebile.

    “When you connect online with Pokemon Moon,” replied Nintendo; “and if you will not deceive me I will come for you, at five o’clock to-morrow, and we will go together and get some cool hacked Pokemon.”

    Well, delebile woke at four the next morning, and bustled up, and went off for the Pokemon, hoping to get back before Nintendo came; but he had farther to go, and had to turn on the wifi through the system menus, so that just as he was turning it on, he saw Nintendo coming, which, as you may suppose, frightened him very much. When Nintendo came up he said, “Delebile, what! Are you here before me? Are they nice Pokemon?”

    “Yes, very,” said delebile; “I will send you one.” And he knew it would take so long that, while Nintendo was turning on their wifi, delebile jumped down and turned his wifi off and ran home.

    The next day Nintendo came again, and said to delebile, “Delebile, there is a 3ds update this afternoon: will you update?”

    “Oh, yes,” said delebile, “I will update; what time shall it be ready?”

    “At three,” said Nintendo.

    So delebile went off before the time, as usual, and got to the update screen, though he had arm9loaderhax, and was on his way updating it when he saw Nintendo coming. Then he could not tell what to do. So he finished the system update, and in doing so turned it round, and it began to be exploited, and it finished updating with arm9loaderhax installed, which frightened Nintendo so much that they ran home without fixing a well known DSIware exploit.

    He went to delebiles house, and told him how frightened he had been by a great exploit that worked on the latest firmware.

    Then delebile said, “Hah! I frightened you, did I? I had been to the update and had arm9loaderhax installed, and when I saw you the update finished, and I could use the eshop on an exploited 3ds.”

    Then Nintendo was very angry indeed, and declared he would send a cease and desist on delebile, and that he would say his exploits enabled piracy to go after him.

    When delebile saw what he was about, he released arm9loaderhax to the public, and released the source code, and, just as Nintendo was sending the cease and desist, pressed "publish" on the source code and the forum threads, and there was nothing Nintendo could do to stop it. And delebile put on the freeshop again in an instant, made Nintendo's servers a joke, and embarrassed the heck out of them, and lived happy ever after. The end.
     
    Petraplexity likes this.
  2. xtheman

    xtheman GBAtemp Guru

    Member
    5,843
    5,252
    Jan 28, 2016
    tl;dr?
     
    Noctosphere likes this.
  3. Noctosphere

    Noctosphere Moon furries | Official follower of Skiddon't-ism

    Member
    1,943
    1,803
    Dec 30, 2013
    Canada
    Between three furries women
    i 100% agree on that post
     
  4. Quantumcat

    Quantumcat Dead and alive

    Member
    9,826
    5,130
    Nov 23, 2014
    Australia
    Canberra, Australia
    Actually a great little story
     
  5. eechigoo

    eechigoo GBATemp Rabbit

    Member
    354
    278
    Dec 22, 2016
    Mexico
    Hell
    im gonna tell it to my kids (if i ever even get kids) as a bedtime story.
     
    Quantumcat likes this.
  6. H1B1Esquire

    H1B1Esquire RxTools, the ultimate CFW machine.

    Member
    1,151
    876
    Nov 2, 2016
    United States
    Earth, bro-dude.
    Make it in RPG Maker for 3DS when it comes out.
     
  7. Petraplexity

    Petraplexity Fidget-Spinning Spicy Memelord™

    Member
    372
    766
    Sep 5, 2015
    United States
    Over There
    this is actually hilarious