Thanks

[tama_mog]

Christ.....can't believe I didn't see this until today. First off, I skimmed the posts from beginning to end mthrnite and I'm glad to see you're staying strong and getting better throughout the situation. That has to be a very difficult thing to do given your situation and I think it's admirable to be reacting the way you are. Please accept my condolences as to what's happening to you and I wish you the best. You've always been one of the better members on the forums regarding wit....not to mention photoshop skills. =P I wish you the best and I hope things work out the best....this definitely put a damper in my mood as well as I am getting married in half a year or so as well. Keep your head up and stay original man.

 

[mthrnite]

Thanks a million tama, for the sympathy and for the very nice compliments

It's nice to know somebody laughs at my jokes!

It's gonna be tricky getting myself up to speed after basically being a housewife for almost 5 years, but I'm hoping this will be a jumpstart towards a more rewarding life. If this just involved me and my wife I might even count it as a blessing. Having children involved makes it much harder though, and much harder for me to understand how my wife could do it... but...
ONWARD THROUGH THE FOG!

And congrats on your engagement! I hope you're always happy!

 

[tama_mog]

You can do it mthrnite...and it seems like you got the will power to do it and that's important. Being out of the work world for 5 years isn't the end of the road by any means. I have plenty of friends out of college that went unemployed and lived with their parents for years and years and came out just fine now in seperate fields. It just takes some will power and clear goals toward what interests you and applying yourself to the field. I realize having kids now must be tough (not totally related, but I've had false pregnancy alarms before in my life and it was stressful enough planning for the baby much less having real kids) but from what I've read on your position being closer to your kids than your wife (since she's away @ work)....I think it can only work in your advantage both judicial wise (if it comes to that) and emotional wise (I'm sure your kids will side with you without a doubt). Just know the sun still shines tomorrow and I'm sure with no time everything will work itself out toward the best. Thanks for your encouraging words in the latter part of your response, I am thrilled about it as well.

 

[Veho]

No matter how hard I try, I can't think of any morale-boosting, instant-life-improving, magic solutions to your predicament... (because there aren't any).

I can't even think of any general, generic, long-term "sage" advice, "Dear Abby"-style aphorisms, "tomorrow's another day" (okay, that one reeeeally sucks), because they don't really help... they seem "wise", until you stop and think about them for more than 5 seconds... No point in posting these, then.

I can't give any real advice, because I've never been in a situation like yours, so I can't even begin to know the answers... So, no help from me there...

On the other hand, I feel like I really suck for not posting anything to show support... (other than "hang in there"; again, a wrong choice of words, when the right one should have been, "I hope you get out of there soon and hang somewhere else"

)

So, um, I'm showing support, I guess...

*support*

 

[5uck3rpunch]

You did just fine with that post veho! Good job.

 

[mthrnite]

Thanks Veho, very well said, and appreciated, I knew there was something I liked about you.

Slight update time:
I've been showing my romantic side this week... I took her to a movie tuesday night. Saw "Stranger than Fiction", about a guy who is the lead character in an author's book. The author is notorious for killing her main characters. He hears her narration, and tries to find her in order to save his own life. I thought the parallels were subtle, but noticable. My fate is being dictated in part, and I'm trying to save what ultimately may be my own doomed marriage. She thanked me before she went to bed that night. I saw something soft in her eyes for the first time in a while. I don't know if it's a slight rekindling of her love, or maybe just pity.

Yesterday was tough, I spent hours on a small fairy sculpture for her. I'm not a sculptor, or an artist for that matter, so it was a little rough. I took it to her workplace and put it in her car, then went in with the kids and visited with her a while. She told me she was going out to eat with a friend, and asked if I could keep the kids. I said ok. I'll spare the details, but evidence pointed to her going out with "the guy", though when I asked she said she wasn't. When she got home, I broke down, big time. I bared my soul, something I've been trying not to do. She didn't get mad, but she didn't say much either. I get the idea that she's thinking about everything now though. Maybe a good thing. Maybe I still have a chance. She said she really liked the fairy. I think she's seeing me a little clearer.

Don't call me a fool for this, for this hope. There's a couple of weeks left before she goes. I want her to see the me she fell in love with long ago. That me is still there.

Thanks again guys. Hope for a happy ending, k?

 

[tama_mog]

I'm all for the happy ending and I hope she comes to her senses. I know the feeling of grasping when someone is leaving and as much as I'd hate to admit it, I can still feel the desperate/hopelessness all over again if I think back to those times. I know these times are hard for you and I hope things work out for the best as soon as possible. Best of luck man.

 

[mthrnite]

Well my friends, I finally met the guy...

She called, and said she'd be working late. I immediatly drove out there with the kids, walked in and there he was. I said his name, extended my hand, he slowly extended his. I shook his hand and told him my name and said "good to meet you", he nodded and left.

I talked with my wife a long time tonight. At first she was defensive, but she finally answered all my questions, some of which I already knew, but wanted to hear from her. I know who he is, what he does, and where he lives. She loves him, vice versa. It went better than I expected. She cried and said she was sorry for doing this to me. She says she's never even kissed him, and I believe it. She said she wouldn't during the seperation period, I want to believe it. I told her I'd take her back if ever she wanted to come back.


I think she will...

but not soon.

Time will tell.

New chapter starting.

I'm alright.

So it goes...

 

[kingeightsix]

... mother... you are one bravestar.

well, time will tell. i think now you must give her some REAL space & she'll start freaking out about everything because you're not there at all. i mean, some girls will actually push you away if they know they've got you... maybe you could... tease her a bit. act like you don't care anymore?

 

[mthrnite]

She'll get the space, and she'll be paying for it. I don't mean that in a vengeful way, but in a factual way. As many of us know, when it's free it doesn't matter if it's not perfect. When you gotta buy it, you take better note of it.

I'm not gonna lie to her and tell her I don't care. I'll just keep on being me. I know I'm the right guy for her, and I'm not gonna let her forget that by being a dick to her. We'll see how it pans out. This ain't gonna be easy but it's the only thing left to do.

Ain't that a kick in the head?

 

[corbs132]

my parents (im 15) wanted to divorce, bit it all worked out in the end. Me and my siblings were wrecked during that time, but my advice to you is to just stay close to your children. Back as far off as you can from (ex?) wife, but still let kids see her. My cousin's parents got divorced when he was like 4 or 5, but everything worked out fine. Good luck man, and God bless.

 

[mthrnite]

Thanks corbs, I'm taking your advice.