thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 10

Discussion in 'General Gaming Discussion' started by thaddius, Apr 24, 2014.

?

Worst Handheld of the Seventh Generation

Poll closed May 1, 2014.
  1. The Game Park Holdings Wiz/Caanoo

    226 vote(s)
    52.6%
  2. The Dingoo A320

    50 vote(s)
    11.6%
  3. The OpenPandora Pandora

    103 vote(s)
    24.0%
  4. The Nintendo DS

    21 vote(s)
    4.9%
  5. The Sony PSP

    30 vote(s)
    7.0%
  1. thaddius
    OP

    thaddius Charmander is not pleased.

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    Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below.

    Recap:
    Well well well! An interesting week with an interesting 'winner'. GBATemp selected none other than:
    [​IMG]
    The Mircosoft Xbox! Congratulations Microsoft! Your first foray into the console business was apparently not as good as the panned Gamecube!

    A very interesting poll. I do not envy the voters and the choices they had to make.

    Rules:
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Enough of that crap, time to get started!

    Intro:
    So now we're in the Seventh Generation of Handhelds! What an interesting round this'll be. I hope some of you will have heard of these 'obscure' consoles especially since they're oft discussed in the Other Handhelds forum.

    This Week's Challengers are:

    The Game Park Holdings Wiz/Caanoo
    [​IMG]
    Apart from form factor these systems are essentially the same, so I'm lumping them in together. Also, I'm skipping the GP2X. I don't think anyone will lament these concessions. And if you do... sorry? No, I'm not sorry.

    Some of you may remember my rantings on an earlier Game Park handheld, the GP32; the wonderful little system that started the ‘open handheld’ trend. Did you know that Game Park kept making handhelds?

    Both systems featured the same style of ‘open handhelding’ seen in the original GP32 (as well as the skipped-over GP2X. I hope there aren't any GP2X fans in the forum) in that the onus was on the coding public to make games for it. Both were Linux-based systems, drawing in former Dreamcast coders and the like.

    The Wiz featured a touch-screen (just like the GP2X) and it’s only real defining features were its crap-tastic A, B, Y and X buttons, as well as better hardware than the GP2X (as there really isn’t much you can do to distinguish yourself in the open handheld market).

    The Caanoo had hardware that was, obviously, more powerful than the Wiz’s, but on top of that featured haptic feedback (rumble). It certainly makes the Caanoo distinct…

    Both are, of course, fantastic handhelds, and are great at what they do: play emulators. The only problem with them is that they were rather expensive when released (Wiz $180US, Caanoo $150US), making them a tad inaccessible to poor, unemployed coders.

    The Dingoo A320
    [​IMG]
    Now if only there was a relatively cheap option in an ‘open handheld’… Oh wait! There is!

    Keeping in the tradition of open handhelds with batshit crazy names, the Dingoo A320 came out of a small Chinese company that hoped that its cheap little console would be enough to make some money off of. For some reason they decided to name it after a misspelling of the name for a wild Australian dog…

    Not originally an open console, the Dingoo was released in February of 2009 for ~$80US (almost half the cost of the Caanoo!). The apparent cheapness in price, but no so cheapness in build quality, led it to be an attractive little console for hackers. Before long Linux was running on it and everyone and their sister was porting their favourite emulators and games to the thing.

    As all things are in China, success does not go ignored, and soon the market was befuddled with poor quality imitators and, more annoyingly, clones. While it’s relatively easy to steer clear of the clones, the Chinese open handheld market seems to have had a bit of a boom, with new consoles being released weekly (an exaggeration, of course).

    I think this system's popularity has waned quite a bit. The hindsight goggles make it clear that it wasn't great, but it did what it could. A close to full speed SNES emulator and a laggy PSOne one ain't bad.

    The OpenPandora Pandora
    [​IMG]
    More open handhelds? OK!

    This time from Germany, some hardware nuts decided to make their own console.

    It all seemed great. The console seemed robust, it had a plethora of inputs and SD card slots, was Linux based, etc. But it turns out that making consoles is hard and a bunch of hardware geeks aren't necessarily renowned for their business acumen.

    The console started having manufacturing problems and to fund the initial orders that were costing more than was anticipated they opened up sales for a second batch. Components continued to fail and you would be lucky if you got your hands on one.

    Sadly a few years ago I bought in to the second batch from a GB reseller. He declared bankruptcy and my money is gone. I learned an expensive mistake that day, Tempers. One I will not forget.

    The Nintendo DS
    [​IMG]
    When Nintendo announced that their next handheld system would be have two screens people simply didn't understand why. Why two? That just doesn't make any sense.

    With the Game Boy Advance having been released in 2001 it was a bit odd that Nintendo would release another handheld a mere 4 years later. Wouldn’t they be cannibalizing their own market?

    Amid speculation that the DS’ rapid release was in anticipation of Sony’s forthcoming handheld, the PSP, Nintendo assured the public that the DS would join the GC and GBA as a ‘third pillar’. As testament to that pledge Nintendo would release two more GBA models during the DS’ lifetime.

    When we finally got to see the DS a lot of people were sceptical. It looked silly with it’s bulky design and the two screen and touch screen features seemed gimmicky. Some of the early DS games, like Yoshi’s Touch & Go, Electroplankton, and Feel the Magic XX/XY, seemed more like tech demos than games.

    Before long developers began to experiment with how to use both screens and with different uses for the touch screen and microphone features. The result was some very unique games, like The World Ends With You and Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! (aka Elite Beat Agents), and even some non-game titles like KORG DS-1 Synthesizer.

    When the DS started to sell quite well Nintendo quietly retired the GBA and released the second model of the DS, the DS Lite.

    Nintendo would go on to release two more hardware revisions (The DSi and DSi LL/XL, both of which dropped GBA backwards compatibility in favour for an online store) and we would see some spectacular games released for the system, as well as see it become one of the best selling consoles of all time (although Nintendo tends to roll all hardware revisions into that figure…)

    Sony PlayStation Portable
    [​IMG]
    In 2004 Sony released their first handheld video game console to the market; the PlayStation Portable (PSP).

    Sony hoped to have the PSP be the bastion for their proprietary overpriced media. To that end the PSP stored music, video, game saves, and eventually games on Memory Stick Pro Duo cards (later Memory Stick Micro/M2 cards) and the, universally disliked, Universal Media Disk (UMD) for games and movies.

    After years of Nintendo handhelds I often worried that the PSP would crack in half if gripped too hard. And an overzealous UMD slot meant it was possible for the UMD to go launching out of the system when the PSP was twisted slightly.

    Ultimately Sony would release four revisions of the system and abandon the UMD unceremoniously. UMD movie prices would drop dramatically and the all-digital model, the PSP Go, would be lambasted for abandoning physical media altogether.

    Despite an untrue stigma of having no games, the PSP would manage to gain a larger portion of the market share than any other non-Nintendo handheld competitor ever did.

    Outro:

    And there you have it! A very different generation if you ask me.

    Who will 'win'? Will it be Sony? (Probably not.) Or the Dingoo? (Maybe.) Perhaps the Wiz/Caanoo? Who knows! You do, GBATemp, you do.

    Current Standings:
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
     


  2. WiiCube_2013

    WiiCube_2013 GBAtemp Guru

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    Voted for the Dingoo just 'cause that didn't sound right and yeah I dunno what Dingoo is but I'll search it up later.
     
  3. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Always wanted a CAANOO, it's very competently designed for an open handheld. I voted for the Dingoo and yes, I'm aware of its following, but in my opinion it comes short in comparison to the other contenders.
     
  4. thaddius
    OP

    thaddius Charmander is not pleased.

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    I won a Caanoo from open-consoles.com somehow. I like it, but it kind of faded into the obscurity of my collection and, as I mention above, became completely indistinguishable from the Wiz. Now they both just sit there. :(
     
  5. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Huh. I never really included any of the open source handhelds in the collection of seventh gen handhelds...

    But I guess I'd have to go for the Dingoo out of all of those, then. I had one, and it...was ok, for the most part. The only thing I ever used it for was pogymanz games TBH, and then it just sort of lost its appeal and I just sold it off. Hell, getting a PSP would have been a cheaper and better option since it could handle PS1/PSP games as well as all the retro consoles.
     
  6. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    A Dingoo ate my baby.
     
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  7. WiiCube_2013

    WiiCube_2013 GBAtemp Guru

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    Okay now, who the hell has voted for PSP and DS as the worst portable consoles of the 7th gen? Show yourselves!
     
  8. TecXero

    TecXero Technovert

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    I never heard of the The Game Park Holdings Wiz/Caanoo, but have known about Open Pandora and the Dingoo series. Unfortunately, I've never gotten to use either of them so I can't say anything about them. For me it's more of DS against PSP. The DS had a lot of games, but the hardware was pretty weak. They didn't really get it right, in my opinion, until the DSi. The lack of support for WPA on the earlier models was annoying. There were a lot of gimmicky games early on that pushed the touch screen (which is par the course when it comes to new interfaces). Then there was the battery life, which was improved with the DS Lite, but was dreadful on the original model.

    PSP, while the games were rarer (that weren't originally PS2 games) and not as greatly varied, it did have some great hardware and support. A lot of features were added in later with the upgradeable firmware. The controls felt good and solid, except for that "nub". Overall, when it sat it my hand it felt more like a spiritual successor to the GBA than the DS did. Of course, the strong homebrew community behind it helped make that thing amazing as well.

    I had to vote the DS as being worse. It was still a great handheld with all its games, but I like the PSP better, and that's what this comes down to.
     
  9. Sakitoshi

    Sakitoshi everything is going according the plan...

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    a vote for the Open Pandora here
    while the hardware and the functions where immense, the project was too ambitious and the poor handheld wrecked by his own weight. also didn't helped that was too big and heavy, has the weight and dimensions of a 3DS XL and for the time that wasn't appealing.
    another example of what happen when you try to make something ahead of the time.
     
  10. DinohScene

    DinohScene Dino May Fire

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    I voted for DS.
    What's you gonna do lad?

    Joking aside:
    I've had a Dingoo which I ended up sending to Catboy.
    I miss that lil device.
    Great fun I had with it playing GBA games.
    As well as other games.
    Glad it's in good hands since it was collecting dust on me shelf for the last 2 years.

    I still got a PSP and DS, I both played a hell of a lot of hours on those.

    Pandora I never had.
    Probably due to the price of the unit being to much.
    I'd love to have one that is.

    Anyway, I prolly pick the Wiz/CAANOO.
    Never heard of em and doubt their more powerful then the more obscure Pandora.
     
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  11. xwatchmanx

    xwatchmanx GBAtemp's (Un)Ironic Weeaboo

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    I haven't owned any of the open handhelds on here, so take my vote with a grain of salt.

    That said, I vote for the Pandora. I'm sorry, awesome as it is, there's no way that it's worth the price of an 8th generation system... Not to mention the apparently shady history around the device's development and distribution (though I suppose that applies to a lot of open-source consoles and the like).

    Don't get me wrong, I think the Pandora seems like a cool device and I would love to nab one myself. But the price tag alone makes it the one of these I'm most likely to never have.
     
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  12. WiiCube_2013

    WiiCube_2013 GBAtemp Guru

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    If what I'm seeing are two analogue sticks in the middle then those mustn't be comfortable at all due to their placement. It looks somewhat painful for human hands.
     
  13. Taleweaver

    Taleweaver Storywriter

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    I voted for the dingoo.

    PSP and DS easily fell off the list of candidates for obvious reasons. The remaining three are all open, so none get credits for that.

    So...I watched some youtube videos (never had one). And thought it would be a hard choice, as I would have thought that they play emulators much the same way and it would come all down to how to hold it. This wasn't exactly true...

    My first thought was that the Pandora would be an easy choice. As WiiCube mentions: with that size, a complete keyboard AND joysticks and buttons, it must be hell to actually use it for gaming. And why does that thing have two SD slots?
    But truth be told, if you take a step backward and don't see it as 'just' a gaming handheld, it's actually not that bad. It's sort of like a mini-netbook (a mini-mini laptop, in other words). And that you can apparently plug your gamecube controller in via USB is probably not that stupid (unless you plan on gaming in a public place :P ).

    The caanoo just looks slick. It looks much better in videos than on pictures, actually. I probably would have bought one of those over a PSP...if I didn't happen to have bought a used PSP from someone who didn't use it anymore. Still...I thought it was going to be a close call between this one and the Pandora...

    ...and then I saw a dingoo review. Yeah...no. Look...I understand that the low price point makes this a sort of gem to have (kind of like the raspberry pi is now), but c'mon. This thing screams "CHEAPPPP!!!" from every direction. And I think that if you look up Engrish in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of a dingoo. Are those even shoulderbuttons?


    To be fair: the handhelds aren't that ridiculously far apart this generation. That is to say: it's not an embarrassment to actually use these devices as some previous contesters. But it's pretty obvious those lower three just make sales because of emulators (and thus: illegal games). It's not like anyone bought a dingoo to play "愚蠢的電腦遊戲" (or a variant thereof).
     
  14. orcid

    orcid GBAtemp Fan

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    the story of pandora's pizza:
    "Let's create a pizza with every topping that exists. The people will love it and we will sell a lot. They will easily pay 20 Euro for this pizza. ..... Before we started this project I didn't realize that we will need oven to make a pizza. .... Now we have have a oven but the pizza with all these toppings will cost 50 euro and tastes like shit."
     
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  15. Psionic Roshambo

    Psionic Roshambo GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    You left out the part where the Pizza took so damned long to cook that by the time it was done other better cheaper pizza's could be had.

    That's the main reason I voted for the Pandora.

    As a handheld machine it was so full of promise, I remember wanting one so badly when they first announced the things and the prototypes looked a bit rough but got better. This only made me more excited....

    Have they finished sending out the first orders? According to Wikipedia as of 2013 some people where still waiting for the pre order shipments. If that's true holy shit... waiting years for something you paid for? Uuuhhhh instant vote for worst handheld right there.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandora_(console)
     
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  16. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    You're forgetting about the fact that the Open Pandora was a from-zero-to-hero type of project, it rose from crowd funding back when it wasn't as prevalent as today as well as the money from pre-orders. For a device created by "a couple of guys who had a dream", it was an excellent effort. They had no money pillow to fall on like for example the OUYA peeps, the Pandora was a child of their passion and it shows. As a system, in and out of itself, it's still a step above the other open handhelds in this poll.

    The story of GP2x is very similar - the line of handhelds was created by engineers who used to work for GamePark wanting to carry on making handhelds, so they created a new company and continued to work on things they believed in.
     
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  17. matpower

    matpower A Hero of Justice

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    There is no way I would vote on the DS or the PSP, so that brings me to the 3 open handheld, Pandora creation is pretty interesting, but the controls looks weird as hell. I always wanted a Dingoo, it was the top notch for cheap portable emulation before emulation on android became a thing. Caanoon started that whole open handheld thing, but it was an overpriced thing after a while.
    I vote on Caanoon, being overpriced when starting a concept is a bad idea, getting obsolete after the big mass clone/alternative wave came. Also I can use another controller on Pandora, that fixes that issue.
     
  18. tbgtbg

    tbgtbg Shaking the ring ropes up in the sky

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    Wow, the original DS looks like shit in blue. Thank goodness for the default silver model, cuz if this was just based on looks, wow, that blue thing could almost win.

    But that Pandora thing deserves to "win" for realsies.
     
  19. codezer0

    codezer0 Gaming keeps me sane

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    This one is also a difficult choice all around. I can only really speak for direct hands-on experience with the DS and PSP. The Wiz/Cannoo, Dingoo and Pandora were definitely neat concepts and tried to do a lot... but clearly either weren't supported or just became too obscure for their own good (hipster factor, anyone?).

    The DS was naturally quite weak, and part of me is upset with the fact that Nintendo advertised how they would continue supporting the GBA, and then so very swiftly abandoned it. It was a weak system all things considered, but it definitely was used very well, and the design certainly has proven to be more capable than the specs alone imply.

    The PSP... I'll be plain. During its actively supported, mainline life, the PSP was a "do not want". Even from launch there were already reports of systems being plagued with dead pixels, and a few instances of people having to exhaust in-store replacement warranties and the like to try and get a good one, because Sony's own warranty for the system at the time paradoxically wouldn't cover it in any manner due to their awkward verbiage (too little and they don't deem it a problem. Too many and they accuse you of wrecking it and voiding your warranty anyway). The overwhelming majority of games initially created for the handheld practically begged for a second analog that was never granted, and even now, with having both of them personally, I can say that the PSP has the dubious honor of being the only system with an analog control worse than the original N64 controller's. There isn't a single revision of PSP or game where it ever felt intuitive or comfortable, and it is somehow more susceptible to dust interfering with its usability than the N64's grinding chalk dust issue. Then there's the battery life... for many at least among my gamer friends, the PSP became a running joke because of having the worst battery life this side of a Sega Nomad. Even Official PlayStation Magazine couldn't sugar-coat it, confessing that they were able to barely finish a UMD movie on a single charge, compared to 3.5 on a Memory stick.
     
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  20. Psionic Roshambo

    Psionic Roshambo GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    I do remember the battery issue being pretty prominent on the first gen PSP's but didn't the 2nd and 3rd gen ones somewhat fix that issue? I know the PSP Go fixed it by removing the optical drive....

    I know I liked my DS but to me the DS really was best once the DS Lite revision hit, such an awesome system due to the games... but the battery on the DS seem to last just the right amount (by that I mean any less and I would find it annoying.)