Dear Santa

[VinsCool]

Last year I got a bag of coal, which was the perfect amount for keeping my home warm for the entire winter.

May I ask, kindly, for the same thing for this year?

I hope I have been a good girl.

 

[Veho]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[tech3475]

I'm still waiting for a horror film where Santa Claus is treated as a villain.

I'm not talking about Krampus, I'm talking normal Santa being treated as a villain.

He breaks into people's homes
His Elves take away jobs
He makes perfect copies of items like PS5s, games, toys, etc. basically mass piracy, ip theft, etc.
He's contributing to climate change by giving kids coal
And he BUMS YOUR DAD!!!!

 

[hippy dave]

This is fine

 

[hippy dave]

Shit posting

 

[CoolMe]

I hope I have been a good girl.

i doubt it. I bet you're the reason why he has a 3rd pile now..

 

[CoolMe]

I'm still waiting for a horror film where Santa Claus is treated as a villain.

I'm not talking about Krampus, I'm talking normal Santa being treated as a villain.

He breaks into people's homes
His Elves take away jobs
He makes perfect copies of items like PS5s, games, toys, etc. basically mass piracy, ip theft, etc.

this but him robbing people's houses and stealing stuff left and right because he's broke and doesn't want to disappoint the good kids etc. may lead to awkward moments like stealing a kid's toy accidentally just to gift it back to them, the kid'll be like: "oh, how did Santa know i lost mine? and my wish this Christmas is to get mine back and he did, Santa is so cool!" or accidentally giving it to one of his friends etc

 

[K3Nv4]

I'm expecting a huge bag of coal this year helps lower the heating bill thanks Santa!

 

[CoolMe]

I'm expecting a huge bag of coal this year helps lower the heating bill thanks Santa!

hey, coal is in high demand now, you're better off wishing for ddr5 ram

 

[tech3475]

this but him robbing people's houses and stealing stuff left and right because he's broke and doesn't want to disappoint the good kids etc. may lead to awkward moments like stealing a kid's toy accidentally just to gift it back to them, the kid'll be like: "oh, how did Santa know i lost mine? and my wish this Christmas is to get mine back and he did, Santa is so cool!" or accidentally giving it to one of his friends etc

Now I'm just imagining Santa Claus as a Robin Hood type figure, Robin Clause.

Either that or a drunk drug addicted santa, Father Junky.

 

[K3Nv4]

hey, coal is in high demand now, you're better off wishing for ddr5 ram

It's the only fall back America has. Just means free BBQ.

 

[CoolMe]

Either that or a drunk drug addicted santa, Father Junky.

Bad Santa got you covered

 

[K3Nv4]

Bad Santa got you covered

I understand billy Bob Thornton now, went from hating Christmas to hating big oil companies.

 

[VinsCool]

So where is my coal?

 

[AncientBoi]

Dear Santa,

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A FEMALE FUQ DOLL, WHEN I ASKED FOR A MALE ONE YOU DUMB DIPSHIT !

ANNNND, I WANT IT WITH A SLIM UNCUT 7"er !​

​

 

[K3Nv4]

Dear Santa,

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A FEMALE FUQ DOLL, WHEN I ASKED FOR A MALE ONE YOU DUMB DIPSHIT !

View attachment 545154​

ANNNND, I WANT IT WITH A SLIM UNCUT 7"er !​

View attachment 545155​

Why would you need more when you buy those through the year?

 

[VinsCool]

Dear Santa,

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A FEMALE FUQ DOLL, WHEN I ASKED FOR A MALE ONE YOU DUMB DIPSHIT !

View attachment 545154​

ANNNND, I WANT IT WITH A SLIM UNCUT 7"er !​

View attachment 545155​

Just imagine you got a Ken version, the dick was cut off but implied.
As for the boobs just assume there is a beer belly underneath.
And assume it's a shaved Bear due to cost production cuts.

There you go, problem solved, you're welcome.

 

[K3Nv4]

Just imagine you got a Ken version, the dick was cut off but implied.
As for the boobs just assume there is a beer belly underneath.
And assume it's a shaved Bear due to cost production cuts.

There you go, problem solved, you're welcome.

It was cut off so you could store it as a necklace.

 

[VinsCool]

Why would you need more when you buy those through the year?

I still buy coal all year around, but I sure like to save some money by getting it for free.