Cereal is bad for you

[JuanMena]

John Harvey Kellogg was a reputable doctor who enjoyed practicing unorthodox treatments with his patients.
He also believed that in order to live a healthy long life one must practice abstinence. So in order to keep people from doing it, he instead gave them (as a treatment for sex impulses) mashed oat flakes... granola basically.

Then William Kellogg, his brutha, convinced the abstinent fucker to patent the product and sell it, but this time, with sugar.
Thus, cereal as we know it today was invented.

Every night, remember that you'd make John Kellogg happy if you'd only have cereal at bed, so do him a favor and eat it while it's still hard and don't forget to swallow... the milk, even if it's bad for you...

 

[SylverReZ]

Eat it whilst hard not soft.

 

[Veho]

Granola and corn flakes were intended to be completely bland to prevent fapping. Do you need any other reason to avoid cereal?

 

[JuanMena]

Granola and corn flakes were intended to be completely bland to prevent fapping. Do you need any other reason to avoid cereal?

So, you eat it while it's hard?

 

[K3Nv4]

Putting your dick in cereal is the most important meal of the day.

 

[JuanMena]

Putting your dick in cereal is the most important meal of the day.

Whatevs man... wait... who's dick you've been eating?

 

[Veho]

Granola, a real man's lube.

 

[K3Nv4]

Whatevs man... wait... who's dick you've been eating?

Your mom's.

 

[JuanMena]

Your mom's.

So you admit eating dick.
Are you trynna be Godreborn?

 

[K3Nv4]

So you admit eating dick.
Are you trynna be Godreborn?

He ate your mom's dick also?

 

[JuanMena]

He ate your mom's dick also?

Just like the guy, you don't need a cape to fly. That's super gay.

 

[K3Nv4]

Just like the guy, you don't need a cape to fly. That's super gay.

I thought this was about cereal and you go and make it gay.

 

[JuanMena]

I thought this was about cereal and you go and make it gay.

Now your cereal got soggy and it's dripping?
You should've ate it while it was hard.

 

[K3Nv4]

Now your cereal got soggy and it's dripping?
You should've ate it while it was hard.

Sorry it's soggy over your tears of defeat. Not all of us like it hard.

 

[Veho]

All yall degenerates need Jesus. And cereal.

 

[K3Nv4]

All yall degenerates need Jesus. And cereal.

Jesus tried spoon feeding me fruity pebbles.

 

[Veho]

Jesus once fed me fruity pebbles but then it turned out they were rabbit droppings with food coloring.

Also it wasn't the biblical Jesus Christ but some random Mexican guy named Jesus, wtf.

 

[JuanMena]

Jesus:
"Try my new Nail O's! The food of champions.
When you feel down, get yourself up with Nail O's!
Nail O's has everything a believer needs, like, Vitamins and Iron!
Nail O's! The breakfast of the disciples"
"Enjoy them with cold milk!"

*gets speared* *milk starts pouring*

"Nail O's" *wink*

Post automatically merged: Aug 6, 2024

"Try the new Mohammed O's"

*nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

 

[SylverReZ]

All yall degenerates need Jesus. And cereal.

 

[hippy dave]

I ate cereal throughout my pubescence and can state with certainty that Mr Kellogg's plan didn't work.