Super Mario Bros. Is Shit

[Rydian]

It is, it's complete shit.

Mario's jumping is amazing, I'll give it that, but other than that, the game is a colossal fucking mess.

I guess the main thing is the actual gameplay. It's horrendous. The jumping feels like it was tacked on at the last second with it being horrible to change trajectory in midair.

Right now I'm stuck in World 5, all because of how bad it is. Getting through a castle is terrible, it takes WAAAAY too long and then it takes like 5 tries to kill the boss tutles, while they only take two hits to kill you. Using the fire flower is terrible as well because the way the game handles it, instead of run/shoot, it's one button. Which means you have infinite ammo, but you can't shoot without breaking a run, and the accuracy is bad since they bounce, and when you become small Mario, you can't shoot anymore until you collect TWO more powerups.

Now Super Mario Bros. 2 and 3 did it right and are actually fun, but my god, to people who are going to play the first Super Mario Bros., expect to die a lot or not have fun. Just play for the story, and never look back, it's that bad.

[/inb4coolblogbro]

 

[Hadrian]

Yeah, well, you're shit.

 

[Forstride]

Stop sucking.

 

[raulpica]

You're just mad that you're not good enough at Mass Effect Super Mario Bros.

 

[p1ngpong]

When your two main offensive weapons in a game are your ass and a fucking flower you know the game is gay.

 

[ouch123]

Spoiler

Being told the princess was in another castle was probably one of the most shocking and emotional moments in gaming. Not only that, but it happened 7 times. Pure. Genius.

 

[NightsOwl]

Spoiler

Being told the princess was in another castle was probably one of the most shocking and emotional moments in gaming. Not only that, but it happened 7 times. Pure. Genius.

The fact he flips you off is just adding insult to injury.

It's actually his thumbs, but we wont talk about that.

 

[Rydian]

Spoiler

Being told the princess was in another castle was probably one of the most shocking and emotional moments in gaming. Not only that, but it happened 7 times. Pure. Genius.

I would like to respectfully call you stupid because I disagree. Falling for it once or twice is believable, but according to spoilers I read, it happens SEVEN times. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far, and I hate stupid main characters that fall for the same ploys over and over (which is what Super Mario Bros. is, stupid).

 

[Hadrian]

When your two main offensive weapons in a game are your ass and a fucking flower you know the game is gay.

Ha shows what you know p1ngDONG! You never use your ass in this game! Pft sick of noobs shitting on games they've never played. Go back to Alex Kidd you fucking noob.

 

[NightsOwl]

I would like to respectfully call you stupid because I disagree. Falling for it once or twice is believable, but according to spoilers I read, it happens SEVEN times. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far, and I hate stupid main characters that fall for the same ploys over and over (which is what Super Mario Bros. is, stupid).

Whatever you do. Don't play the japanese 2. I hear they tell you she's in a different castle 7 more times, and 3 more if you do some weird shit and go to world A through C. Those aren't even numbers. They can't even be consistent.

 

[Veho]

Well there's your problem. You've been playing the version without the premium DLC.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

I have never finished this game... It certainly didn't age very well, I agree.

I think it was well designed and kind of popularized side-scrolling platformers. But it's a pretty frustatig game, one wrong jump and you die. It's amazing how easy it is to die at this game, it's also one of those games that forces you to memorize every level. I memorized where many of the level-up are hidden and some secret passages I still didn't fucking finish this game. (don't like to warp levels though, it feels like cheating, using save-state is no option for me too)

EDIT: To be fair, this game was fun enough to keep me trying to finish it for a long time. Now, about Super Mario Bros. Lost Levels... It's fucking impossible!

 

[ShadowSoldier]

I really am curious. Do you people wait for me to be drunk to post this stuff? Because I never see this fucking ORGASM CAUSING THREADS! when I'm sober.

Also, Super Mario Bros. is shit. Grow a pair of fox balls, man the fuck up and play some Super Mario World, fgt.

It certainly didn't age very well, I agree.

GTFO. Now.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

I really am curious. Do you people wait for me to be drunk to post this stuff? Because I never see this fucking ORGASM CAUSING THREADS! when I'm sober.

Also, Super Mario Bros. is shit. Grow a pair of fox balls, man the fuck up and play some Super Mario World, fgt.

Gotta love Super Mario World! This game and Super Mario Land 2 are my two personal favourites. Never finished Super Mario Bros. 3 though...

 

[ShadowSoldier]

Never finished Super Mario Bros. 3 though...

My response:

GTFO. Now.

 

[Snailface]

I remember when this game came out. It was like the opening chords to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" -- except for the video game world.
I thought at the time, "Its just like the arcade, this is not possible!".

Bad controls or not, its what every kid would be playing for months. I wasn't good enough to beat it, but I kept replaying the first four levels over and over just because it was that cool.

Oh well, Grandpa Snail signing off for the night.
PS-- you young whippersnappers have no respect!

 

[ShadowSoldier]

This just in: Rydian sucks at a game I can beat within 10 minutes.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

GTFO. Now.

Hey! I didn't have an NES or the Super Mario All Stars collection.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Tru.Fucking.Fax

IT'S THE MOST LINEAR GAME EVER.

 

[Gahars]

"Super Mario Bros. before Hos, man."

You just, like, violated the golden rule of gaming.