Video Game Logic

[Deleted User]

Nobody helps the hero.

 

[1234turtles]

Nobody helps the hero.

Yeah and they always come up with some excuse why they can't help.

 

[triassic911]

If you get shot by the mafia/gangsters, run to the nearest hot-dog stand to eat one and you will be as good as new.

---

 

[injected11]

Become super-strong, find piles of amazing weapons and tools, and learn tons of amazing abilities to save the world. Forget and lose them all by the time your sequel comes around.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

main character is basically a one man army

Assassin's Creed comes to mind.

Err...almost all video games made should come to mind.

 

[Taleweaver]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water
-by the way: your clothes will never be wet longer than two seconds after leaving water. Weapons won't cease functioning it. Heck...in most cases, you can even shoot fireballs through water
-baddies either have a HUMONGOUSLY bad karma or a VERY bad body smell. Merely touching them will damage or even kill you
-it's called a dungeon even if it's really a castle made of interconnecting clouds
-shifting gears? What's that?

 

[Pleng]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

 

[Pleng]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did

A living one, yeah. Clothes are what make you sink. If you were to jump in a calm pool of water nude you'd be able to float as long as you lay on whatever side of your body that has the most surface area (hence why people lay on their backs in pools).

 

[nryn99]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did

A living one, yeah. Clothes are what make you sink. If you were to jump in a calm pool of water nude you'd be able to float as long as you lay on your back (hence why people lay on their backs in pools).

i can't float lying on my back. only when i lay face down with my face in the water.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did

A living one, yeah. Clothes are what make you sink. If you were to jump in a calm pool of water nude you'd be able to float as long as you lay on your back (hence why people lay on their backs in pools).

i can't float lying on my back. only when i lay face down with my face in the water.

Same concept, other side of body.

 

[Black-Ice]

A pidgey can fly me across the world.

 

[Squeechy]

You are the most powerful hero in the known universe and you are the last hope of humankind - yet you can't jump over a fence or an ankle high rock or sometimes even jump at all.

Bad guy - "You can't win. I have a stepladder!"
Hero - "Ok.... "

 

[Black-Ice]

You are the most powerful hero in the known universe and you are the last hope of humankind - yet you can't jump over a fence or an ankle high rock or sometimes even jump at all.

Bad guy - "You can't win. I have a stepladder!"
Hero - "Ok.... "

*uses cheat code, breaks stepladder*
#winning

 

[Pleng]

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water

You never been in water?

The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.

A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did

A living one, yeah. Clothes are what make you sink. If you were to jump in a calm pool of water nude you'd be able to float as long as you lay on whatever side of your body that has the most surface area (hence why people lay on their backs in pools).

Fair point

but Mario IS wearing clothes, and ISN'T lying on his back, soo....

 

[Black-Ice]

OH OH I GOT A GOOD ONE!
Get your heart poked out your chest by a huge dragon and somehow still live,
Dragons Dogma, totally legit.

 

[Hydreigon]

- That flimsy wooden box right there? Yeah, it survived an atomic explosion.
- Injured by a high-powered rifle? Just hide behind crappy cover to nurse yourself to full health in mere seconds.

Spoiler: And this.

 

[Wizerzak]

-Drive a car at just 30mph up a ramp and send it flying into the air for and incredible 5 - 10 seconds.
-You can take off at ridiculously steep angles in a plane with no side-effects.
-Cars will always explode, no matter what type of collision.
-Dents in cars are always the same shape, regardless of what caused them.
-Nuclear missiles are practically disposable and terrorists have extremely easy access to them.
-You can never run out of parachutes.
-Faceplanting the side of a building doesn't hurt a bit, nor does grinding your face along numerous metal supports.
-There are approximately 6 types of car within a 300km radius.

(Yes, I've been playing too much Just Cause 2)/

 

[Taleweaver]

(and now for some gameR logic):

-you don't hang around for the visuals...you do it because of the experience
-it's perfectly normal to backtrack to a previous point in time to try the same thing again. Over and over, if you have to.
-if you suck at shooting things, it's because the gun isn't controlled with a mouse
-shooting people and teabagging them is okay. So is blowing up the entire environment. Calling people names or having interest in female anatomy, however...that's going to throw you out of the world
-doing the same routine over and over again (generally killing the same bad guys in the same environments and looting everything but the furniture) is a perfect way to spend the afternoon. It'll get you more stuff you can use to upgrade your skills and gear...so you can do the same routine even BETTER!