Hacking ROM Hack Tutorial Others
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HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND PART 2: HOW TO GET OUT OF NORTH KOREA!
Hey guys I know it took a while and some of you are probably dead by now, but my previous guide on getting a girlfriend ended up with you getting stuck in North Korea. I initially thought there was no possible way to get out of North Korea apart from becoming friends with the leader himself, but all of this has changed after @a_username_that_is_cool discovered a new bug in reality that let us use teleport_hack.exe. The steps are very long, it is insanely complex to escape North Korea without losing your girlfriend, or dying. But I'll try my best to explain it, just follow my instructions AND DO NOT MAKE ANY MISTAKES 
First of all, you only got like 3 days to live, you for sure want to make sure that you do this as quickly as possible.
Finding Gustavo
First of all, you need to find Gustavo, he lives in North Korea, he is usually underground or with The Man Himself.
Once you find him, you want to do 3 backflips and 4 push ups.
He will give you a small bag, you tell him EXACTLY "Bsmh(WteNK)", he will ask you to leave.
Finding aerglass.
First of all (this is required) inside the bag there's some clothing. You want to wear the mask and the clothes. This is very important.
"aerglass" usually works for the government. But he sometimes helps people on the streets. You want to approach him, punch him in the face and steal a RED USB DRIVE WITH "CRACKER" PRINTED ON IT. This is important later. Make sure to break many bones, as he can be a witness. The mask will help you on this.
Get out of there fast so that you cannot be tracked back to your house, hide well and then change back to your original clothes.
Going back home and using the tools.
If your girlfriend is mad about you being late for dinner tell her you were with the lord himself and that if you didn't do what he said you died early. Next up look inside your bag, inside the bag there's a Lenovo Thinkpad T480s running Libreboot, inside the bag look for a blue USB drive, plug it in the Thinkpad and turn it on, hit the F13 key on startup MULTIPLE TIMES THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT WILL BOOT INTO A MODIFIED DEBIAN 14 FORKY.
It will ask for a encryption key, just pull out the red USB drive youstole borrow and plug it in, in 5 seconds it should unlock. Else... Give up.
Next up you want to pull out a terminal and type "cd ~/hacks/life" and "make -j$(nproc --all) && ./lfHack --freezeTime --excetions='this,owner,owner->girlfriend'", the programs should compile in about 2 minutes, the North Korea Military will enter to your house 5 seconds before the program finishes.
Dealing with the military for now.
They will point a gun to your girlfriend, however, three seconds after they pull out the gun, everything freezes. You want to steal the gun, put it in your bag, and next up on the computer type in a new terminal tab "killall lfHack && ./lfHack ---time-travel='2:35PM' -teleport=base --includes='this, owner->bag, owner->girlfriend".
Wait through a 10 hour loading screen because you really need a NVMe SSD.
Talking to Azair.
Ah yes, the snowy cold climate, peace... You enjoy it right? Well, you are not safe. The North Korea millitary still is searching for you, to get new identities you need to talk to a guy named Azair, he is usually on a house.
Azair will tell you that he needs two special USB drives, a modified Thinkpad T480, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Give him the bag (you still have that.. .right?)
He will teleport you (not your girlfriend, your girlfriend and your mom stay to... pay off some of your debt)
Hacking the debug menu back.
You wake up in the laboratory where Gustavo's product is created, with Walter and Jesse.
Gustavo's men will beat the shit out of you and once they take you with Gus you will make a deal with him, but instead you end up murdering him and executing "lfHack --time-freze --exclude='this,owner'", this way you can steal the Aperture Sciene Handheld Portal Device, shoot the blue portal inside the room, next up you want to execute "lifeDbg" DO NOT MOVE you want to scream out loud these things:
Confronting the leader.
You will wake up inside a elevator, there could be many possibilities, you might wake up with an Arch user, a Debian user, a Ubuntu user, or a Windows user.
When the elevator reaches floor 999 you will be able to see North Korea's leader himself, tell him that you use Gentoo and then he will sign a presidential pardon, shoot a orange portal, go inside and scream "LF_CURRENT_POS=24.124,2.430" you will go through 4 loading screens.
Confronting aerglass
When you reappear, you will find aerglass about to shoot Azair with a gun.
You need to tell him to stop using PAlib, he will enrage but then tell him that you use raw libnds with no tricks. He will drop the gun. Kick aerglass out of the house.
You give Azair the Aperture Sciene Handheld Portal Device, he will then pull out a gun to your head, once he is distracted, grab it. Then, you tell him you want new identities. He gives you his Thinkpad T61. You next up type the following commands
You will see an ARM9 exception handler
You want to scream out "LF_DBGMENU=true" and then "sudo "curl -fsS https://dl.totallylegitwebsite.virus/totallyLegitLifeBypass.sh | sh"".
You will see a message saying that you unlocked Wario. Press A
Save Data
You want to press the + Button, then select your save file, and then press Delete. Next up create a new save file in the same save slot. You then want to scream out loud the following lines:
You will find yourself in a bed... With your girlfriend ofcourse, in a home. With a new lifestyle.
Enjoy your girlfriend! You escaped North Korea! Now you live in Mexico.
You are also wanted by Gustavo's Fring men and the FBI.
First of all, you only got like 3 days to live, you for sure want to make sure that you do this as quickly as possible.
Finding Gustavo
First of all, you need to find Gustavo, he lives in North Korea, he is usually underground or with The Man Himself.
Once you find him, you want to do 3 backflips and 4 push ups.
He will give you a small bag, you tell him EXACTLY "Bsmh(WteNK)", he will ask you to leave.
Finding aerglass.
First of all (this is required) inside the bag there's some clothing. You want to wear the mask and the clothes. This is very important.
"aerglass" usually works for the government. But he sometimes helps people on the streets. You want to approach him, punch him in the face and steal a RED USB DRIVE WITH "CRACKER" PRINTED ON IT. This is important later. Make sure to break many bones, as he can be a witness. The mask will help you on this.
Get out of there fast so that you cannot be tracked back to your house, hide well and then change back to your original clothes.
Going back home and using the tools.
If your girlfriend is mad about you being late for dinner tell her you were with the lord himself and that if you didn't do what he said you died early. Next up look inside your bag, inside the bag there's a Lenovo Thinkpad T480s running Libreboot, inside the bag look for a blue USB drive, plug it in the Thinkpad and turn it on, hit the F13 key on startup MULTIPLE TIMES THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT WILL BOOT INTO A MODIFIED DEBIAN 14 FORKY.
It will ask for a encryption key, just pull out the red USB drive you
Next up you want to pull out a terminal and type "cd ~/hacks/life" and "make -j$(nproc --all) && ./lfHack --freezeTime --excetions='this,owner,owner->girlfriend'", the programs should compile in about 2 minutes, the North Korea Military will enter to your house 5 seconds before the program finishes.
Dealing with the military for now.
They will point a gun to your girlfriend, however, three seconds after they pull out the gun, everything freezes. You want to steal the gun, put it in your bag, and next up on the computer type in a new terminal tab "killall lfHack && ./lfHack ---time-travel='2:35PM' -teleport=base --includes='this, owner->bag, owner->girlfriend".
Wait through a 10 hour loading screen because you really need a NVMe SSD.
Talking to Azair.
Ah yes, the snowy cold climate, peace... You enjoy it right? Well, you are not safe. The North Korea millitary still is searching for you, to get new identities you need to talk to a guy named Azair, he is usually on a house.
Azair will tell you that he needs two special USB drives, a modified Thinkpad T480, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Give him the bag (you still have that.. .right?)
He will teleport you (not your girlfriend, your girlfriend and your mom stay to... pay off some of your debt)
Hacking the debug menu back.
You wake up in the laboratory where Gustavo's product is created, with Walter and Jesse.
Gustavo's men will beat the shit out of you and once they take you with Gus you will make a deal with him, but instead you end up murdering him and executing "lfHack --time-freze --exclude='this,owner'", this way you can steal the Aperture Sciene Handheld Portal Device, shoot the blue portal inside the room, next up you want to execute "lifeDbg" DO NOT MOVE you want to scream out loud these things:
- LF_EXEPCTION_HANDLER=off
- LF_SECURITY=low
- LF_REST_MOVESET=REG_MVFDBG
- LF_DBGMENU=true
Confronting the leader.
You will wake up inside a elevator, there could be many possibilities, you might wake up with an Arch user, a Debian user, a Ubuntu user, or a Windows user.
- If the person inside the elevator is a Windows user, tell them to create a folder called "con". They won't be able to and will be very confused, you kick them in the knee in that moment, knocking them out.
- If the person inside the elevator is a macOS user, just ask him how much money has he wasted on Apple devices, they will inmediately get mad, in that moment, punch them in the face. Knocking them out instantly.
- If the person inside the elevator is a Ubuntu user, pull a terminal in front of them, they will inmediately have fear and try to run away.
- If the person inside the elevator is a Debian user, you have a pretty good rival actually, but all of Debian's users have a weakness, ask them when is gonna the next Debian Stable version going to release and they will fall to the ground inmediately.
- If the person inside the elevator is a Arch btw user, you should tell them that you run Gentoo Linux on your Lenovo Thinkpad T480s with Libreboot, the Arch user will get very confused as their ego gets absolutely destroyed, you then, quickly strike with your Thinkpad, slam him on the head with that.
- If your opponent is @x65943 tell them that Darnell 2 released just now, they will be inmediately check their phones.
- If your opponent is @sexually_inactive show them a picture of a japanese girl.
- If your opponent is @DesCube tell them that the Darnell Remaster is coming out today
- If you opponent is @yankii show them a text that's over 5 words long
- If your opponent is @BG2CNT remind them of their past. He will inmediately enter in a PTSD attack and will not be able to attack
When the elevator reaches floor 999 you will be able to see North Korea's leader himself, tell him that you use Gentoo and then he will sign a presidential pardon, shoot a orange portal, go inside and scream "LF_CURRENT_POS=24.124,2.430" you will go through 4 loading screens.
Confronting aerglass
When you reappear, you will find aerglass about to shoot Azair with a gun.
You need to tell him to stop using PAlib, he will enrage but then tell him that you use raw libnds with no tricks. He will drop the gun. Kick aerglass out of the house.
You give Azair the Aperture Sciene Handheld Portal Device, he will then pull out a gun to your head, once he is distracted, grab it. Then, you tell him you want new identities. He gives you his Thinkpad T61. You next up type the following commands
- LF_DBGMENU=TRUE
- LF_DBGMENULAYER=BG2
- LF_DBGMENU_RESETALL=true
- LF_MVLOC=true
- LF_EXEPCTIONHANDLER=false
- LF_CPUPROTECTION=false
- LF_SECURE_BOOT=false
- curl -fsS https://dl.totallylegitwebsite.virus/lifeCrash.sh | sh
You will see an ARM9 exception handler
You want to scream out "LF_DBGMENU=true" and then "sudo "curl -fsS https://dl.totallylegitwebsite.virus/totallyLegitLifeBypass.sh | sh"".
You will see a message saying that you unlocked Wario. Press A
Save Data
You want to press the + Button, then select your save file, and then press Delete. Next up create a new save file in the same save slot. You then want to scream out loud the following lines:
- LF_DBGMENU=true
- LF_CRASHHANDLER=false
- LF_REBOOTWHENCRASH=true
- LF_SETTINGRECOVERY=false
- LFloadAsset(nullptr)
You will find yourself in a bed... With your girlfriend ofcourse, in a home. With a new lifestyle.
Enjoy your girlfriend! You escaped North Korea! Now you live in Mexico.
You are also wanted by Gustavo's Fring men and the FBI.
Last edited by Deleted member 716285,
