bad jokes

[Xdqwerty]

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
Thats amore!
When an eel lunges out
And takes a bite out of your snout
Thats a moray!

 

[BigOnYa]

Apple is developing its own automobile, but they have ran into a problem. They can't install windows.

 

[Noctosphere]

Apple is developing its own automobile, but they have ran into a problem. They can't install windows.

Dont worry, neither can Musk

 

[BigOnYa]

What has 4 or more wheels, and flies?

Spoiler

A garbage truck

 

[BigOnYa]

9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid, just can't stop.

 

[Noctosphere]

1 out of 2 person is really ugly
I'm not ugly so...


..........

 

[Xdqwerty]

1 out of 2 person is really ugly
I'm not ugly so...


..........

...Must be 1 out of 3

 

[BigOnYa]

My friend collects miniature model horses. One day he slipped, fell, and a couple model horses went up his rear end. The doctors say his condition is stable.

 

[Localhorst86]

9 out of 10 people don't see any issue with mobbing.

 

[Flame]

9 out of 10 people don't see any issue with mobbing.

Your maths is wrong. In the image below you can see 1 is very happy 9 not so.

Spoiler

 

[BakerMan]

I recently found out I'm colorblind


news came right out of the purple

 

[BigOnYa]

I can count the number of times I've visited Chernobyl on one hand. Seven.

 

[BakerMan]

alright, true story about a joke

I came downstairs a few months ago wanting to tell a joke, so I decided to seem legitimately sad. then when my mom asked what was wrong, I told the joke:
I watched a video about crushing cans of pop. it was soda pressing
(Yes i say pop i'm a midwest mf, ain't got the fuckin accent tho)

 

[hippy dave]

How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

Attract her!

 

[impeeza]

A Van driver and a child are walking on the forest.
as they go deeper the child look to the Van driver and tell him «Sir I am getting scared».
The Van driver looks to the child and tell, You are scared! tell me about, I have to return alone!!

 

[BigOnYa]

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had four doors, they would be called chicken sedans.

I was at the beach the other day, looked up and seen a beach ball and thought, why is that ball getting bigger in size? Then it hit me.

 

[CoolMe]

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

 

[BigOnYa]

My uncle was a carpenter who made tables and chairs. He accidentally drank some wood polish and died. It was a slow and painful death, but a beautiful finish.

 

[SylverReZ]

A Van driver and a child are walking on the forest.
as they go deeper the child look to the Van driver and tell him «Sir I am getting scared».
The Van driver looks to the child and tell, You are scared! tell me about, I have to return alone!!

 

[Cranesbill]

Yo mama so stupid she blows on spicy food to make them less hot