I finally got around to "obtaining" Skyward Sword. So some impressions.
First off, how is this so easy to pirate? I put it on my hard drive, fiddled some settings as per directions, and bam, working fine. Didn't even have to bother with the Wii Motion Plus video crap since I dealt with that for Wii Sports Resort. There's not a single issue for piracy on my end. I haven't updated my cIOS for the longest time or my USB loaders. What gives? I have a feeling there's some secret "Fuck you pirates" or something. But still, I can't even get Kirby to work, which while a flagship release, is nowhere near the Skyward Sword scale. But whatever, I'm definitely not complaining.
But for the game. Bullet time!
Hope is not lost though. I'm not too far into the game, I'm probably right near the first real dungeon and right after I got the Slingshot. However, it just feels like some of these concerns aren't just early game stumbles but underlying design flaws. I seriously hope I'm wrong.
First off, how is this so easy to pirate? I put it on my hard drive, fiddled some settings as per directions, and bam, working fine. Didn't even have to bother with the Wii Motion Plus video crap since I dealt with that for Wii Sports Resort. There's not a single issue for piracy on my end. I haven't updated my cIOS for the longest time or my USB loaders. What gives? I have a feeling there's some secret "Fuck you pirates" or something. But still, I can't even get Kirby to work, which while a flagship release, is nowhere near the Skyward Sword scale. But whatever, I'm definitely not complaining.
But for the game. Bullet time!
- Heh, kinda find it funny that it actually rips a lot off of other games. The wall scaling instantly reminded me of Assassin's Creed. Skydiving immediately reminded me of Just Cause 2. Directionality swinging was really struck with Red Steel 2 and in trailers for MGS: Rising. I wouldn't say it's straight ripping off, but it definitely has some tones. This isn't a complaint or anything, I see nothing wrong with taking good elements from other games and combining them, just kinda funny.
- Now, the Wii Motion Plus. I like it for swordplay, the lack of calibration needed outside of the occasional "point at screen for a second and center" is a really nice addition that the peripheral has sorely been lacking. But they're going a bit overboard.
- Flying around on your bird is just plain boring and annoying to control. At least in past Zelda games I had a horse to see nice rolling landscapes and stuff like that. Having a bird suffers the whole "Wind Waker" issue with the boat. All you see is a whole lot of the same. Even then, Skyloft doesn't impress me. It feels like I'm in a snow globe. Maybe the game will end by zooming out from Skyloft only to reveal the entire game was the imagination of an autistic kid looking at a snow globe? If you get this reference, congratulations, your name is probably Gahars.
- Controlling your fall in skydiving is also just plain bad. Can't I just use a fucking analog stick? Took me a solid 5 tries just to do that stupid "base jumping" thing from the whole ceremony thing.
- Balancing on ropes is just an annoying distraction that slows down the game and adds unnecessary frustration. Again, I get it, I have a Wii Motion Plus, stop putting it in every fucking mechanic.
- For swordplay, when it works, it works gloriously. I do enjoy the directionality-based combat, but as I said, the control is still iffy. There's times I plainly swipe sideways for plants that require a sideways slash and instead I just bounce right off. Goblins, don't even get me started. I see they're having a high, horizontal block so I realize I need to go for a low, horizontal swipe. Seems logical, right? No, they instantly switch positions and block it, so instead of it being "strategic dismemberment", it's more of a crapshoot of luck.
- Camera is a pain. I don't remember if Twilight Princess had as an annoying camera but it's annoying to recenter yourself every 5 seconds. Plus if I feel like slashing, say, a fruit I can't lock onto, it's an annoying game of positioning just to simply slash the goddamn thing.
- Dowsing, why the fuck do I need this? Now that the game has an entire element devoted to tracking things, I feel an abundance of annoying fetch quests await me. Already found the stupid kiwi (or whatever you call them) tracking quest to be an annoying distraction from what Zelda is all about: going from point A to point B and fucking up some dungeons.
- Cutscenes are unskippable. Boo. Boo a hundred times. Sorry Nintendo, you're great for a lot of things, but plots are not one of them. I'd still watch them on my first playthrough just so I can complain about how bad the story is, but c'mon.
- Conversation system, why do I need this? I have a feeling that every option leads to the same outcome. Mass Effect this is not. It again feels like unnecessary fluff that's trying to add a new dimension to the game. Except this dimension is completely one dimensional and just makes me wish I could mash my + button through every piece of dialogue.
- Fi is really boring. I get that she's supposed to be some emotionless computer-like thing, but why? Midna was entertaining. Even Navi was entertaining. It's kinda like I traded out a tour guide for a GPS. The tour guide might make a few jokes and tell you an interesting story. A GPS just tells you where the fuck to go. I'm hoping there's some sudden change for her that gives her emotions or something but otherwise I feel like I'm talking to a calculator or a really shit GLaDOS rip off.
- I'm really hoping I get some type of permanent metal shield. The last thing I want to do is keep going to Skyloft to buy a new shield. Most of the time now, Fi, like a good little babysitter says "You should get a shield". And I say "Fuck that, shields are for pussies" and venture on. Even then, I'm finding goblins and such to do nothing but dance around and block like retards to the point where I completely forgot to put up my shield. I only needed my shield for blocking those Deku things honestly.
- Art, graphics, and sound aren't impressing me. The overabundance of dialogue makes their moonspeak even more irritating. Music tones haven't felt as moody as Twilight Princess. Graphics haven't struck me as that top-notch Nintendo quality that I got from Super Mario Galaxy and such. It's good looking for the Wii, but I'm not particularly impressed. I would say it's because I've become so used to HD gaming on the 360 that I can't appreciate graphics in relation to a lower power system, but I played Sonic Colors not too long ago and it looked pretty swell for me. Maybe I just can't stand the art, but nothing is hitting me as much as Twilight Princess did on this front.
Hope is not lost though. I'm not too far into the game, I'm probably right near the first real dungeon and right after I got the Slingshot. However, it just feels like some of these concerns aren't just early game stumbles but underlying design flaws. I seriously hope I'm wrong.