I know that some of my friends here at GBATemp have been wondering as to where exactly have I been since departing abruptly many months ago. Recently, a few have managed to remember my e-mail address and have asked that I, at the very least, say something...anything really...to those who I have called friend and others who have expressed their respects for my past doings. After some lengthy contemplation, I decided that, at the very least, I could inform those who know me as to what I have been up to since I left.
First, let's start off on why I left. I will address some particular matters later on, so not to leave any open doors on some who will be quick to fire off their flamethrowers, as I expect a few might do. After the kiczek's crap storm that had erupted around here, I felt a bit betrayed by the community at large. A single person with a decent amount of history here jumped in on a thread and made a disgusting claim. I sat there in disbelief as I read those who leaped out to support such a baseless statement. After a couple of months of basically saying to myself, "Remember, they are the ones whom don't belong here", I had enough of the nonsense, and not just that situation. There were too many so-called occurrences around here, that I was completely against and fed up with. So, I contacted Narin and told him that I was leaving and wouldn't be back for many months. At the time, I did mean that.
As time moved on, and I ceased participating here at GBATemp, the DS Connectivity Wiki and other arenas, I found myself with a lot more time and much less stress. I began to become accustomed to the lack of irritations and less headaches in my life. I noticed the days becoming longer, and I could not dwell all day filling my time while sitting in front of an LCD screen for hours on end to patrol and police people who should know better about how exactly to behave in a chat room. So I pursued other outlets, both in my own personal life as well as online. I know that some knew I had returned to World of Warcraft, and more than a few may have suspected that the game maybe enveloped me to a massive degree. You couldn't be more wrong. My gaming habits have actually decreased. I still play WoW, but I do not do so as much as I used. And no, it's not the only game that I have installed.
My DS has suffered attention-wise because of this change in direction. It hasn't even been powered on in about 6 months. I kid you not. It's not that it's broken nor are the gaming selections slim. On the contrary, it seems that the DS has more than enough titles out there to entertain me for years to come. However, I no longer possess flash cards...none. They are all gone. That leaves me with nothing to play whatsoever on the mighty handheld. When I return to the workforce, as this economy has not improved here enough locally to afford me a single opportunity as of yet, I intend on picking up those games that gave me great joy, such as Final Fantasy IV again. I could play that game until the end of days.
Lately, my parents' states of health have become more and more clear to me. While they have achieved the two-year mark of being smoke-free, there are still pressing ailments that they both suffer from. They recently celebrated their 58th and 57th birthdays respectively, and with that reality, they are unable to manage many happenings that they once could. Our house has been in need of improvements over the past six years, since we relocated to West Virginia. So, I have been taking the lead on most of these projects firsthand. This summer has been especially busy, and it's been great for myself. I'm getting much more exercise and feeling better about myself, in both personal health and confidence. My father has contributed a bit more that I am comfortable with, but I've always known that he wouldn't remain on the sidelines completely throughout the projects. Many are still ahead of us, and I'm hoping to finish all of them before the leaves begin to turn brown.
In addition, I have met a wonderful lady. She and I are on the same page about so many aspects of our lives. We've both suffered great heartaches and disappointments. We share the utter objection of small-minded individuals. We both love gaming, cartoons and reasons to laugh and smile. Believe me, the laughing bit is something painfully absent from my life for many years. We are distant to one another residentially, but we're hoping that once things progress, as I'm being cautious with my past experiences reminding me of the many, many mistakes made, she may move down here. It has been a rapid but welcome relationship that I am hopeful will continue to flourish. I truly feel blessed having met her, regardless of the ultimate outcome.
So, why should I return here? It's an honest question, and I'm afraid to say it, but I am baffled towards coming up with a single answer. I never approved of the likes of DrKupo, kiczek, speechles, JPH and so forth. They have made a tremendous impact on this scene, and outside of kiczek's mild contributions, none of them deserve the praise that has been afforded to them whatsoever. Yes, I royally chewed DrKupo out, and he's gone. kiczek hasn't spoken hardly at all, and when he does, it's outrageous and self-serving most of the time. Speechles is still considered a greater asshole of the scene than I ever was. And JPH...let's just say that he was never on Team GBATemp. I knew it long before most, and the site, at the least, is better off without him.
Most importantly, I, myself, do not deserve any of the said praise. I wrote some product reviews here. I did several flash card skins. I wrote a few guides. I overhauled a Wiki and fought to keep it in line despite a few jackasses who thought their desire to argue when no valid argument was to be made was foundation enough to destroy the hard work many people have contributed in order to provide information for the masses. I was even given the responsibility of chat operator for both the old and the current and official GBATemp IRC channel. I helped where I could, but I do recognize that I harmed more often in my actions and such. I don't apologize for being firmly against the heavy bigotry that was so commonplace sometime ago, and I will continue to speak out against ignorance to this day no matter what. I still recognize that some staffers should never have been given their titles let alone maintained them for a grossly length of time, and the few who were worthy of their responsibilities were snubbed when they should have been cheered. I was utterly disgusted that Narin was given such a sheer amount of disrespect from multiple outlets, despite his grand works and upkeep of both the Cheat Database and many of the site's technical fronts.
To summarize, I do not expect myself to ever return here, or at the least, I don't foresee being an active member as before. I understand that 99% of the community, inside or out of GBATemp, are good people. I comprehend that I dealt with the 1% far too often and took it personally, when I should have taken a much more subtle approach. It has left me a bit bitter whenever I think about my history here, but I'm working on that for myself. I meant every word I said of DrKupo, and I won't apologize for it. I did not say what kiczek claimed, and that's that. Now, it's not to say that I don't look in from time to time. The technology and breakthroughs still intrigue me. Simply put, I'm more than satisfied having restored to my original state of being and becoming a lurker once again. As I have said before, you can love me, hate me or not give a damn about me. That's up to every individual. I have moved on in life. Hopefully, some of that 1% will as well, so the remainder of you can continue to make this site and the scene better as time marches on. I wish all of you the very best, and I pray that God watches you all.
To my friends here, I do miss all of you, and I hope your successes and triumphs will continue to surpass even your greatest expectations. To my enemies, get over it, if you are smart enough yet.
