After reading Charys wonderful blog I was reminded of a (not so) wonderful time in my life when I lived with my sister,
Her shenanigans were very similar to those of Charys father, only the reason my sister didn't understand was due to her drinking.
I should point out that she is in her late 60's, and still working as a CNA in hospital ER's.
She spends her evenings drinking large quantities of vodka, a single 2 liter a night to be exact, but according to her, she's not an alcoholic, and anyway, at least she's not a drug addict. The last sentiment was hers, not mine. So she spends her nights 'chatting' [read as flirting] on Facebook and other forums usually about some topic that ultimately leads to some steamy talk If I know her. Yes, it's a scary proposition, she is just about sobering up about the time she is getting ready for work. And she has been responsible for watching many people's telemetry units to insure their hearts didn't stop beating. I have tried for years to get her to stop drinking. She was a real looker before the booze, a professional dancer. This isn't about her drinking though...
I was traveling the country working as an entertainer, Hypnotist and Mentalist and as such frequently wound up on the couch of a relative rather than another hotel room to save money.. During my off-seasons from the street fairs and comedy clubs I taught in more than 30 schools throughout the Northeast, Introduction to the internet, but that was long ago, necessary info for the story. My sister sees me as somewhat of a computer guru, although I'm nothing of the sort.. She comes to me with any computer questions she has...
ANYWAY, she uses a desktop computer with the keyboard that pulls out on a slide-out shelf from just below the desktop, a common type most of us are familiar with. She leans slumped over sloppily in a very drunken state trying her best to sound intelligent and attractive over the net, as her slurred typing gets worse and worse. A problem starts to develop that she starts calling for ME to fix. Suddenly, the cursor starts typing letters she never intended and spaces start showing up between letters she had not intended. She leans back in her deal style chair and belts out my name across the two rooms to come help her fix the computer something is wrong with it. I come out to see what's wrong.
When I approach, she turns back toward the computer, again hunching over it...
I observe she's leaning toward the keyboard and her large breasts are pushing against the space bar and occasionally the B,V, or N keys. This I have termed Tit Typing, as I have seen other women complain of the very same problem.. How do you explain to someone that breast reduction surgery will fix their computer?
I tell her she has to lean back from the keyboard but she doesn't see this as a solution, she sees this as a suggestion for me to better get at the computer, I correct the letters, and this continues throughout the night. Each time she leans forward again, she once again hits the keyboard and once again types unintended letters or spaces. There IS no way to communicate this to a drunk, that they are causing the problem here, (as they are within other areas of their life) After this happening dozens of times I go to sleep, leave or do something else that further cuts her off from her being able to as for my help. At some point in time, over the next few days, she will change a password and do the same thing while changing the password, some passwords don't require retyping once entered/changed. She later accuses me or someone of messing with her computer because her password has been changed... I move on and find a hotel.
This scenario has taken place at least a dozen times in my life exactly this way. It would be funny, laughable, had it not been so tragic. The upshot of the story is twofold,
#1 Both fish and relatives stink after three days
#2 Don't teach your tits to type!
Her shenanigans were very similar to those of Charys father, only the reason my sister didn't understand was due to her drinking.
I should point out that she is in her late 60's, and still working as a CNA in hospital ER's.
She spends her evenings drinking large quantities of vodka, a single 2 liter a night to be exact, but according to her, she's not an alcoholic, and anyway, at least she's not a drug addict. The last sentiment was hers, not mine. So she spends her nights 'chatting' [read as flirting] on Facebook and other forums usually about some topic that ultimately leads to some steamy talk If I know her. Yes, it's a scary proposition, she is just about sobering up about the time she is getting ready for work. And she has been responsible for watching many people's telemetry units to insure their hearts didn't stop beating. I have tried for years to get her to stop drinking. She was a real looker before the booze, a professional dancer. This isn't about her drinking though...
I was traveling the country working as an entertainer, Hypnotist and Mentalist and as such frequently wound up on the couch of a relative rather than another hotel room to save money.. During my off-seasons from the street fairs and comedy clubs I taught in more than 30 schools throughout the Northeast, Introduction to the internet, but that was long ago, necessary info for the story. My sister sees me as somewhat of a computer guru, although I'm nothing of the sort.. She comes to me with any computer questions she has...
ANYWAY, she uses a desktop computer with the keyboard that pulls out on a slide-out shelf from just below the desktop, a common type most of us are familiar with. She leans slumped over sloppily in a very drunken state trying her best to sound intelligent and attractive over the net, as her slurred typing gets worse and worse. A problem starts to develop that she starts calling for ME to fix. Suddenly, the cursor starts typing letters she never intended and spaces start showing up between letters she had not intended. She leans back in her deal style chair and belts out my name across the two rooms to come help her fix the computer something is wrong with it. I come out to see what's wrong.
When I approach, she turns back toward the computer, again hunching over it...
I observe she's leaning toward the keyboard and her large breasts are pushing against the space bar and occasionally the B,V, or N keys. This I have termed Tit Typing, as I have seen other women complain of the very same problem.. How do you explain to someone that breast reduction surgery will fix their computer?
I tell her she has to lean back from the keyboard but she doesn't see this as a solution, she sees this as a suggestion for me to better get at the computer, I correct the letters, and this continues throughout the night. Each time she leans forward again, she once again hits the keyboard and once again types unintended letters or spaces. There IS no way to communicate this to a drunk, that they are causing the problem here, (as they are within other areas of their life) After this happening dozens of times I go to sleep, leave or do something else that further cuts her off from her being able to as for my help. At some point in time, over the next few days, she will change a password and do the same thing while changing the password, some passwords don't require retyping once entered/changed. She later accuses me or someone of messing with her computer because her password has been changed... I move on and find a hotel.
This scenario has taken place at least a dozen times in my life exactly this way. It would be funny, laughable, had it not been so tragic. The upshot of the story is twofold,
#1 Both fish and relatives stink after three days
#2 Don't teach your tits to type!
what a shame, to have to go back to an OG size battery soon.