Transgender doesn't make sense

I think of these blogs as siphon filters. How else we going to identify the assholes.

The 5 pages of this blog post is what scares me about the whole issue. I am a totally open individual, people can be whatever they like. My problem is that when I want to know things, I want to be very clear and knowledgeable on it.

The fact that we have people arguing about how exactly it is, both from people in the LGBT community and out of it, and based on my previous attempts at research, no group big enough can confidently establish and agree on terms, definitions and understandings.

I develop severe social anxiety when it comes to meeting new people that could potentially be part of these other genders (or sex, whichever one it is), because I'm afraid I'm going to incorrectly call them something they don't want to be, and either make everything awkward, lose a potential friendship, or get the living shit kicked out of me.


There was one good reply that I read and thought was a final good answer, only to see others arguing and pointing out flaws and god damnit, I can't figure it out.

@Seriel Well I shouldn't need to put it in quotes, or put a "/s" to express hyperbole. But what I got from your post is that opinions are somewhat black and white, which would be wrong.

Why is GBAtemp becoming 4chan?

@Jonna if they're cool, they'll politely ask you to use other terms. If they start calling you a bigot or flip out. Fuck em.

@m_babble Man, if only. What makes you say that?

@WeedZ That's true. That would take care of that issue, though I still don't have a clear thought in my head of what is actually what.

@Viri That's comedy gold. lol

@Jonna The best approach is probably to simply ask politely. Admittedly, sometimes it'll blow up in your face, "What, you can't tell?!" or possibly make someone feel badly, but it's the safest bet. A decent safe bet is also going by very clear expressions of gender, ie. very femme or very masc.

It's nice to know you wish to try.

I expected entire flaming garbage, but this whole chain of comments is kinda interesting. The title is totally inciting madness but if you read every bit, it's kinda thought provoking. Clearly, as there's 6 pages of comments already.

If staff started nuking things like this, then we'd become bootleg reddit. And normal Reddit is already a dumpster fire.

@Chary That's exactly what some people in this thread wanted. They mass reported this thread, even though all he did was ask a question. I bet a few users here would love it if we could down vote, and cause people's posts to be hidden, just like Reddit. Gotta report wrong think!


But hey, if you want somewhere you can be banned for wrong think, and for mods to bend to your ever will. You can always join Neogaf or Resetera. You'll feel just at home, where you'll feel like you're always walking on egg shells, even the slightest bit of wrong think will get you banned.

Oh, you're the conservative Muslim guy! Long time no see! So I'm going to end this here if that's okay with the rest of you. Just so you know where I am coming from, I am friends with many transgender, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, all of those, and as a result I feel very strongly for this subject.

A transgender is someone who does not identify with there birth gender. Pretty simple. But it's not like they wake up one day and say "oh, i wanna be a girl/boy!". Big contributors which lead people to change their gender are depression and bullying (which some say lead to depression), which in a sense would make them biological. Imagine that you one day wake up in a new life as the opposite gender, which for you is female (correct me if I'm wrong). You wouldn't feel comfortable being a women, doing things women do, dressing, walking, talking, you just feel like you aren't a woman, you want to be a man. You feel like a man, you enjoy doing things men do, the way they walk, talk, dress, act, that's who you are. Now imagine that everyone around you is forcing you to act like a woman, no one cares about your true feelings inside. you feel cold, alone, uncared for, you are not allowed to do what you want, simply because you were not born male. But everything inside you screams "I'm a man!". It's unfair, isn't it. Gender isn't just a social thing. It's not what others look at you as. It's your identity, and no one has any right to take that away from you. I hope you see a new perspective on this topic now.

….

I've read some early stuff and am seriously shocked at the instant call for "hate speech" some people made.

People are allowed to ask questions. People SHOULD be asking questions when their values and reality are challenged. Calling them "hateful" right away is the best way to get everyone to camp their position and never try to find a middle-ground.
Whether their claims are based on ignorance or not, they do not deserve the label "hateful" or anything. There's nothing insulting in doing the first steps towards understanding a situation. It's WAY more mature than right out bashing people and actually blocking any form of debate.

We live in an age where individuals are pushing for their "rights" so much and so fast that for someone who's been used to call a cat a cat, it might not appear obvious as to why theses changes are needed.
I'm gay (and male, and white, guess that makes me alt-right? but i'm also socialist so... errr Err0r) and I ask myself a simple question: Why? Why the absolute NEED to be officially recognized as this or that. We have male and female, and people swapping genders because of a medical condition. Ok. This part is something that the "society" in general had time to assimilate and understand, and the vast majority of people are now fine with it.


But now comes this whole new topic of "new genders".
Where are all these new genders coming from? Why are they "conditions" too, and how is it "offensive" if people don't call you the way you'd like to be called?
What if I want to be identified as my fursona because I feel better that way? Should I start taking offense if someone doesn't want to call me this or that?

See, I don't think there's anything hateful in asking this simple question: When does the medical condition end, and when does it become seeking for attention. Like, I'm not trying to be mean at all, I perfectly understand that people would rather be this or that, but if anything blame your own body, blame nature, don't blame other people because they don't want to get into your fantasy world. Using the "oppressed" wildcard is simply absurd. You are not oppressed for believing in what you want, just don't force people to believe in it, too.

Especially when said people (which I believe is still the majority) was born preformatted into calling someone who looks like a man a man, someone who looks like a female a female, and someone having sex for love just normal instead of "demisexual"... For a lot of people it's "normal" and you are calling them "hateful" for sticking to it.

Oh and finally: I don't think the OP is homophobic or transphobic, and it's not because a minority of gays and transgenders absolutely WANT to see everyone as oppressors (see that gay versus aces drama on twitter? competition for oppression, fabulous...) and are happy to be victimized that we all are. We're not fucking oppressed [in developed countries], we're the current kings of the game, let's stop kidding ourselves for a second.

Dear person, I understand you are confused and even instinctively defensive in these times when the human being itself is being redefined and explored outside the bounds of momentum-driven answers from the past, cultural circumstances and religion. As these new definitions settle into shape, there is going to be some debate and trial and error about the details and contours of these definitions, and likely victims on both sides.

As tempting as it may be however, to cave under the frustration and jump into defensive or going on with accusals about ulterior motives and other mostly gut-driven instinctual responses, please be aware that other people's perception of the self, their everyday experience, reasoning and feelings have brought them to their decisions - decisions which can be hard to grasp. There may be including unwitting prejudice, cultural norms, differing personality types, neurological wiring etc. in the way of understanding that person.

Listen and observe instead, get to know them, get to know about their lives, experiences and feelings. Many of these people actually suffer from the way they're being treated in society, and all the more on the defensive today with this new wave of intolerance rebranded as "taking back our society/nation" or "saying it how it is" which has exploited frustrations of all kinds and scapegoated basically "everything the majority is not" as the cause of the problem. Anger and defensiveness arising from that can easily be misinterpreted.

Whatever the solutions to these misunderstandings, diverging opinions, conflicts etc., pointing fingers and crying "ulterior motives" will not be the solution, anymore than it would be in a classical conflict.

jesus, i just read 6 pages of crap.

First of all, you guys play too much video games. This isnt a world where you get to choose your character. Is it your fault your an ugly mofo? no, thats just how you were created. IT ISNT A CHOICE. Did the OP want a 3ft dong but got a micropenis instead? too bad. Is his fault he has a micropenis? No.

Is it a choice to be born conjoined? I think not. Is it a persons choice to be born autistic? No. Is it a choice to be born with 11 toes instead of 10? no. Is it a choice to be born with the wrong physical reproductive organ when the spiritual essence doesnt match? i think not.

YOU GUYS PLAY TOO MUCH GAMES

Use "Twat" for everyone and problem solved! (And prepare the floodgates.... because this thread will be bumpy!)

@WeedZ
I think a lot of people just read the title then read a few transphobic comments and decided to not read anymore before commenting. Admittedly I can see where some might get upset, but personally what I see is an admittance to ignorance and I hope the OP actually takes time to read through some of the more thought out posts in this blog. Admitting to not knowing something and explaining that you don't know something is the best way to get an answer. Getting past what I will presume are gonna be the same transphobic members who swarm these blogs (I don't see them because I ignore them) and a few people trying to help the trans community (seriously I get that some are trying to help by defending us, but you are going about it the wrong way when you take things out of context,) you do see some rather thought out posts in here.

If I may add my two cents, this is all too typical. As soon as this topic comes up in ANY magnitude, people cry "hate." Look, not everyone understands this mentality or agrees with it. The first step to acceptance is education. I understand that bullying is a common thing to transgender people at some point in their life, and some may be very defensive about the topic for understandable reasons, but it's wrong. For those of you that fit this description, please, for your own sake, calm down. If you just go around freaking out every time someone says something you consider to be wrong about the topic, its going to give the entire group / scene / whatever you wanna call it a bad name. Just look at the public opinion of feminists right now. A lot of them have very valid complaints, but they are drowned out by the autistic screeching of some women who THINK they are feminists, because they have a grudge against men.

My point is, when people ask things like this, maybe they are trolling, but maybe they legitimately wish to educate themselves, and get only hateful, angry comments in return. Before you flip your computer desk and go keyboard-warrior on people, stop. Take a deep breath. Remember that by answering, especially as a member of said group, you are acting like a representative of that group to whoever you are talking to. Your actions could completely change their opinions, for better or worse.

It's ironic, honestly. I see so many comments about homo/transphobia or hate, but to me it seems like THOSE people are the hateful ones (not all, of course. I'm saying its common for them to be defensive in my experience). Just because your life is hard and not everyone understands your umm.... *unique* situation... doesn't make it ok to hate on the people you are preaching anti-hate to. That's just plain stupid. Society is making a lot of progress, but these things take time. If you expect everyone to be patient with you and accept you for who you are, you need to give everyone else the same liberty. It's only fair.

GBAtemp is slowly turning into POLITICALtemp.