Am I normal?

What makes me wonder?

Let me explain who I am..

I am Raestloz(not the real name), an 18 years old college student (my birthday was 15th this month), and is quite healthy.

I'm skinny, not like what women consider skinny, but skinny at the point I can see my veins and the shape of my bones pretty clearly.

I'm quite intelligent, but not to the point women will stick around me, I'm average at best, average as in "medium-high" in security measurements

I'm not good with arts, although I respect it a lot

I like military things.

My face is not that good, thanks to being skinny, although naturally, I'm kinda good-looking, if I'm not skinny

I'm not a muscle guy

I know no fighting skills

I'm not cool, I'm "cold", not to the extent ignoring people, but I don't like starting useless conversation, and I don't like starting conv. with somebody I don't know, even if they know me.

I'm a straightforward guy usually, If I do go somewhere, I actually have something to do there, once I do what I have to, I leave that place at once. Still about that, I usually blurt everything that comes to mind, rash or not, however, there're several cases where I actually think before talking

I slouch, although I don't usually realize it, but somehow my mom said it's improving, and I do feel I'm an inch taller, 2 inches when I actually straighten my body

I'm not somebody who would like to threaten somebody else, in other words, a peace-loving person, don't like starting fights, don't like involved in fights, don't want to go near people who likes to fight

I'v got self-consciousness fo most things, tahnks to being raised in a normal family with normal economy for the past 7 years, another 11 years? kinda por but we managed somehow

I dont like vegetables and seafood, in other words, I'm a carnivore literally

I'm not funny at all, thanks to being emotionless most of the time

I'm a God-fearing person, and believes in 4 religions....

I'm not a social person, however, I trust my best friends with my heart, never will I betray, never will I be betrayed

I've never been in an outstanding situation

I do like ecchi stuff

I'm not from a rich family

I do like games, like it VERY MUCH even

I like mangas just recently, and is crazy about it right now

I'm wearing glasses, and they're not clear anymore

I'm not a fashionista

I have no athletic ability

I'm tall, almost 2 metres high (190 cm) and skiny, which makes me TOO tall...

I like Japan culture very much, and adore Americans, especially their monotonic and regular lifestyle

I've got little, if not no, female friends

So, what is it that I'm ranting about?
Why do I ask I'm normal or not?

Simple:
My friend asked: "Hey, do you like girls at all?"

"What makes you say that?" I asked back, and he said "Well, it's just that you have no reaction at all towards girls... and I never actually see you hanging out with a girl"

"True..." I said, deep in my heart
I've never felt any feelings towards girls, no matter how beautiful they are. I do adore them, at the point of saying "Look, that girl's a beauty", but nothing more, I don't lust for them, neither do I fantasize about seeing them naked, or staring at their chest of thighs, or thinking about me going out with them

Sure, sometimes I think about "what if I'm popular?" But I never actually think about "popular with who?" and when I think about it, it's blank......

I've looked at many beautiful girls, yet I don't feel like "oh, if only I can reach them" the only thought that crossed my mind is a process of identifying the creature that is in my line of vision, and then with the GPU attached to my brain visualize its shape, what it is wearing, the face, and that's that, no ecchi thoughts come and spend some time

Sure, I got aroused when I saw those xxx vidoes, but that's that, should the video over, so does the xxx mind inside my brain

I've got some male friends, and I gotta say this to you: I'm NOT a gay.

And I think again... if have no affection towards girls, am I normal? Am I a male? Or just a being with male physique but neutral heart?

What will become of my family's line? Will it end on me just like Leonardo da Vinci or Michaelangelo?

Really... what am I??

All my friends, no matter who, AT LEAST went crazy about girls, but when they talk about topics like that, I'm not really interested. And most of them has at least got a girlfriend, once... only I being the last one left behind... I wonder why?

What happened?

If any of you guys or gals got annoyed by this rant, then sorry for ranting.....

Comments

Nocturnius
Well kinda sounds like you may be A-Sexual. People who has no gender preference/ Likes no gender. You sound like a cool kid still though. Lets see you are normal and you are male lol. there is nothing wrong with how you are. Like i said. Look Up A-sexual and I am sure you will find alot of things in it that is exactly as you just wrote :] Your fine don't worry. I for one think there is nothing wrong with you. Don't put too much thought into negativity. Also in what you wrote. I am similar in some ways than others. Also try and not think about family lines and such I mean no one ever knows how the future is ever going to turn out. Just let life takes its course and you continue doing what you think is best.
 
NeSchn
No one is normal. Every person is different, You should just try to train yourself in different things. Examine people (like I do) and get some jokes or saying from them that make other people laugh.
 
swimmeringer
To me it just sounds like you're a very late bloomer.

No offense, of course, if "things" have already happened. But it just sounds like that's the case.
 
R
Hmmm.... come to think of it.... I never actually have any lust for girls.... I am a virgin, and I'm not ashamed 'bout it, it's just.... maybe my brain is still full of teen thoughts?

I mean, it feels too adult when I try to think about those mature stuff, even considering my age.... I wonder myself... a prophet once said I'll get married in age 20, but with my current state I don't think that will happen...
 
Canonbeat234
Hey you sound normal from my standards; at least you wasn't doing absence stuff (look at my blog about getting rid of the fetish habit) when you was in 2nd grade.
 
R
you did what in 2nd grade? wow..... lol....
fetish habit? lol that's one habit you got there, maybe I'm like this because I live with my mother and two older sisters? Everybody who met them always said they're beautiful from lots of aspect, but for me they're completely normal...... maybe that's why... since my dad's not close to me from the start, and he's rarely at home
 
xcalibur
You say you like ecchi. That is at least some form of sexual preference.
A famous psychiatrist said the only strange sexual preference is having none at all.
Don't worry, although I have fantasized once or twice, I've never had any outright attraction to a girl.
That probably just means you have very specific preferences and haven't met anyone who meets those. Or maybe you have a fetish you haven't discovered yet and can't find someone to share it with.

Don't worry about stuff like this, it'll only give you a headache and sort nothing. You won't find a miracle solution that will fix everything in an instant in these forums or in your own mind. The only real thing to do about it is to forget and let it all sort itself out.
In the end we always wear out our worries.
 
R
Ah, your words calms my mind Xcalibur... thanks alot hahhaha

specific prefences? Why... YES! Now that I think about it thoroughly, I like people's personality 25% better than their appearance which might be the reason I don't feel any affection towards random beautys... I did felt something with my female friend back in junior high, we've been friends for a whole year, she's kinda attarctive, and is a great person personally..... ahahahha, thinking about his really makes me hurt, I've been murmuring over nothing at all lol

fetish eh? I like maids recently, because their life (in mangas I read) seems to be entertaining, but I don't think looking at maid plots makes me a maid fetish now am I?

Anyway, thanks, I'm not worried anymore...
 
Canonbeat234
[quote name='Raestloz' post='1714701' date='Jan 18 2009, 11:37 AM']Ah, your words calms my mind Xcalibur... thanks alot hahhaha

specific prefences? Why... YES! Now that I think about it thoroughly, I like people's personality 25% better than their appearance which might be the reason I don't feel any affection towards random beautys... I did felt something with my female friend back in junior high, we've been friends for a whole year, she's kinda attarctive, and is a great person personally..... ahahahha, thinking about his really makes me hurt, I've been murmuring over nothing at all lol

fetish eh? I like maids recently, because their life (in mangas I read) seems to be entertaining, but I don't think looking at maid plots makes me a maid fetish now am I?

Anyway, thanks, I'm not worried anymore...[/quote]

I wouldn't joke with the word 'fetish' if I were you, my father and mother are very distant to me because of it. So I'm very stern about the subject.
 
xcalibur
[quote name='Raestloz' post='1714701' date='Jan 18 2009, 07:37 PM']ahahahha, thinking about his really makes me hurt, I've been murmuring over nothing at all lol[/quote]
Don't worry. We're all allowed our own emo moment, so long as they don't become a habit. Same thing happened with Test84 who was a cool dude but got on my fucking nerves with his suicidal threads which were nothing but a pathetic cry for attention...

@Canonbeat: What made you share your fetish with your parents? If you're not gay I don't see why your parents should know what you doing in your bedroom. I haven't really read your blog so I apologise if I'm out of line or something.
 
R
I wouldn't joke with the word 'fetish' if I were you, my father and mother are very distant to me because of it. So I'm very stern about the subject.
Click to expand...
I wasn't joking, was I joking about that rant in the first post? Nope... I'm serious about that..

I like the plots, it's kind of like "I like school-life stories" does that mean I'm a school-uniform fetish? Nope I think, it's like that

Anyway, I'm no fetish in my conclusion, so let's put this word's conversation to an end
 
Beware
You're perfectly fine. My best friend is exactly the same way. There's no reason to get all huffy about women. There are more important things in life.

You're certainly not normal, because there is no "normal."


EDIT: And all those twats that say you aren't normal are just kids who have no real priorities. Just ignore that. They'll grow up eventually.
 
S
[quote name='Xcalibur' post='1714689' date='Jan 18 2009, 02:28 PM']That probably just means you have very specific preferences and haven't met anyone who meets those.

Don't worry about stuff like this, it'll only give you a headache and sort nothing.[/quote]


^-This.

Some people get all rowdy around hot women, others don't. It's not a big deal or not normal in any way, it's just a socio-cultural thing, and nothing to worry about at all. Considering that you say you don't hang out with a lot of people in general, it is also not surprising that there isn't a person who you are attracted to right now. I'm a very picky person when it comes to girls, and looks definitely aren't the number-one thing on my list.
 
A
Your description of yourself sounds a bit like me, no athletic ability(just joined tennis so I don't have to be in PE), quiet, straight to the point, and more, just too lazy to type it all up. :P

Don't worry though, I am just being me and I'm doing fine in school. :) Be the same, and ignore all the people you hate. You don't have to get violent, just walk away.
 
Cablephish
I'm kind of like you too. Except that I do have a bit of a sense of humour, not like how you described it.
 
Gore
I am very very similar, just a few differences.
I am not a God fearing person, and I do have a few female friends.
I don't lust for them either, though.
I don't wear glasses, like anime/manga/ecchi, also not that into Japanese culture.
Mostly the things away from technology is where we are similar.
 
U
hmm........ interesting........

well, the is no such thing as normal, just levels of abnormality.

it sounds like you could be asexual, which is a little odd, but apparently about 1% of the population is too, so you are definitely not alone. in fact the are whole communities and forums of asexuals on the internet.

by how you describe your emotionlessness, it could be you have "Schizoid personality disorder" another symptom of which is asexuality. now, although it is called a disorder (which is a word used in psychology a lot), many people live with it, and very few seek treatment as most do not even view it as a problem, some even view it as an advantage of sorts.
 

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