Hello everyone, it's me, the not-so-mighty mgrev. Writing another blog post for nobody to read. yeah. skip this all, click the back-button, or even close the entire page/window, save yourself.
Now if you're here to stay, get ready, as we go on with the story of an edgy sad teenager from Norway. This is all just clutter, and doesn't make much sense.
First of all, Jesus it's been a while since the last blog.
I've felt like shit for a long time, and it's hasn't gotten any better, so-to-say. i've said it before, winter is a depressing season, and i am sure that all 0 of you can agree on that one. not that i ain't depressed for the rest of the year, but it's extra bad during the winter. I have had several "fights" (not as in punching etc. but i think you get what i mean) with my parents, and that has led to no good. Arguing about shit, raging, being sad for the rest of the week. "normal" stuff? many times over and over. told my dad to shoot himself. got even worse. Everyone got mad. at once. I can't take too much input at one time, or i'll freak out. don't know why. might be SPD?
School after the holiday had a rocky start. I barely reached school in time, and we had a bunch of test after that. a lot of them went fine, but for the last few, it was so much stress that i couldn't take it. i said fuck it and tried to relax for a moment instead. Of course that didn't work.
My mom fucking left me at home one day because i "was too late to get out of bed". Seriously, fuck that goddamn piece of shit "mother". she doesn't seem to care about A SINGLE FUCKING THING! NOTHING. She's unfair against me, especially compared to my 2 siblings, who are both younger than me.
I've played some games, like Skyrim, and Fallout 4. Skyrim is a fucking fantastic game, and it helps keep my mood up. At least for a bit. Love the surrounding and everything. I don't think i've had such a joy playing a game in a long time.
I watched the Logan movie (for once out in the public) this weekend, and it made me feel, odd. Feel a way i remember from before, as if it happened yesterday and a year ago. i can't put my finger on it. It's a strange feeling. like something's not right with me. almost as if i'm missing something? feels like my body is wrong. Might have been a coincidence, i have no idea.
i've got no friends. yeah, been like it for a while. it's ok i suppose. I've gotten used to it. I think the person i trust the most in this world (Would have been great to be in another one) right now, is you @Tomato Hentai . it's true, and i think you know. we've "known" eachother for over a year know, and i've grown quite fond of you, to be completely honest. You're such a great person, and i don't think i could have been more luck that to get to know you. i really feel like i can be open to you.
I've cut my arms several times. it went almost a year untill i did it again. now it's 2 weeks since the last time, and i'm struggling to keep up. It keeps me from being too sad, but it's not good. How can such a horrible thing feel so good? I'm probably sick in the head. i need help. I'm anxious, and it sure as fuck doesn't help that people dislike me so badly. I have never ever done anything bad to them. well, maybe call those who decide to push me into a wall assholes from time to time, but that shouldn't matter. I don't do anything social except go to school. I don't like people. they're always so loud, and yelling shit at you. pushing you just to open a path for themselves. Other people tell me i'm a likable guy, and can't see why people would dislike me. I mean, not just disliking me. I've been told to kill myself many times, and it's rarely more than a few days between each time.
Maybe it's what i should do? i don't hope so. Sure as hell, it would be great to get rid of all the shit, but it's not the solution, is it? Fuck people, fuck everything. i hate my life. Goddamn Shitheads. Parents that don't care, and can't argue for shit. People call them nazis. I can see why.
The weeks feels like waiting for the weeks to end, and the weekends feel like waiting for weeks to start. Just a long wait for nothing. There's no point in doing anything.
Some nights i'm crying for hours before i sleep. sometimes i'm "out of tears", and let my skin cry. It helps me sleep. I haven't have a good night's sleep in almost forever. I feel like i'm just a picture on a wall, hanging there mostly to be ignored, and maybe thought about from time to time, with occasional staring.
Congrats, you made it to the end. Now do whatever you'd want to do. eat nachos, or play BotW. doesn't matter to me.
-mgrev
Now if you're here to stay, get ready, as we go on with the story of an edgy sad teenager from Norway. This is all just clutter, and doesn't make much sense.
First of all, Jesus it's been a while since the last blog.
I've felt like shit for a long time, and it's hasn't gotten any better, so-to-say. i've said it before, winter is a depressing season, and i am sure that all 0 of you can agree on that one. not that i ain't depressed for the rest of the year, but it's extra bad during the winter. I have had several "fights" (not as in punching etc. but i think you get what i mean) with my parents, and that has led to no good. Arguing about shit, raging, being sad for the rest of the week. "normal" stuff? many times over and over. told my dad to shoot himself. got even worse. Everyone got mad. at once. I can't take too much input at one time, or i'll freak out. don't know why. might be SPD?
School after the holiday had a rocky start. I barely reached school in time, and we had a bunch of test after that. a lot of them went fine, but for the last few, it was so much stress that i couldn't take it. i said fuck it and tried to relax for a moment instead. Of course that didn't work.
My mom fucking left me at home one day because i "was too late to get out of bed". Seriously, fuck that goddamn piece of shit "mother". she doesn't seem to care about A SINGLE FUCKING THING! NOTHING. She's unfair against me, especially compared to my 2 siblings, who are both younger than me.
I've played some games, like Skyrim, and Fallout 4. Skyrim is a fucking fantastic game, and it helps keep my mood up. At least for a bit. Love the surrounding and everything. I don't think i've had such a joy playing a game in a long time.
I watched the Logan movie (for once out in the public) this weekend, and it made me feel, odd. Feel a way i remember from before, as if it happened yesterday and a year ago. i can't put my finger on it. It's a strange feeling. like something's not right with me. almost as if i'm missing something? feels like my body is wrong. Might have been a coincidence, i have no idea.
i've got no friends. yeah, been like it for a while. it's ok i suppose. I've gotten used to it. I think the person i trust the most in this world (Would have been great to be in another one) right now, is you @Tomato Hentai . it's true, and i think you know. we've "known" eachother for over a year know, and i've grown quite fond of you, to be completely honest. You're such a great person, and i don't think i could have been more luck that to get to know you. i really feel like i can be open to you.
I've cut my arms several times. it went almost a year untill i did it again. now it's 2 weeks since the last time, and i'm struggling to keep up. It keeps me from being too sad, but it's not good. How can such a horrible thing feel so good? I'm probably sick in the head. i need help. I'm anxious, and it sure as fuck doesn't help that people dislike me so badly. I have never ever done anything bad to them. well, maybe call those who decide to push me into a wall assholes from time to time, but that shouldn't matter. I don't do anything social except go to school. I don't like people. they're always so loud, and yelling shit at you. pushing you just to open a path for themselves. Other people tell me i'm a likable guy, and can't see why people would dislike me. I mean, not just disliking me. I've been told to kill myself many times, and it's rarely more than a few days between each time.
Maybe it's what i should do? i don't hope so. Sure as hell, it would be great to get rid of all the shit, but it's not the solution, is it? Fuck people, fuck everything. i hate my life. Goddamn Shitheads. Parents that don't care, and can't argue for shit. People call them nazis. I can see why.
The weeks feels like waiting for the weeks to end, and the weekends feel like waiting for weeks to start. Just a long wait for nothing. There's no point in doing anything.
Some nights i'm crying for hours before i sleep. sometimes i'm "out of tears", and let my skin cry. It helps me sleep. I haven't have a good night's sleep in almost forever. I feel like i'm just a picture on a wall, hanging there mostly to be ignored, and maybe thought about from time to time, with occasional staring.
Congrats, you made it to the end. Now do whatever you'd want to do. eat nachos, or play BotW. doesn't matter to me.
-mgrev
