There some things in life people do, sometimes is just cause you wanna do it, sometimes is cause of influence, sometimes is just how you are. Whatever the reason is, we do things and we only have to accept what we done. Sometimes if is not great we regret it, hoping we could take it back thinking we learned a valuable lesson. While is not always possible to fix problems like we could if we just rewind time, we go into that depressive state of living with guilt, or other negative emotions.
"If only i haven't done this, this wouldn't have happen."
"I wish i had known, i would never done this."
"How can i fix this now? Is there nothing i can do?"
Common things people probably would say, doubtful, weakness of things. Not taking responsibility for it, things people have problems with, and i'm mean is real not fake. You mess up, that how it is. Own it. While you come accept that fact, you probably think about how can you prevent such things like this again. You remember this like is your whole life existence, as if you can't go on or move on from this, it will never leave you alone, let you be yourself again. Basically is a form of trauma i guess. While not many of people have such things in their life, people who do, well perhaps may have much to say about it... or maybe wish never to say anything at all.
There are people out there call mime, not really sure of the origin of this, but is basically a person who uses actions to tell expresions and other things without use of vocals. What exaclty brought about this? I dunno, maybe it was a joke, one person got so mad that he decied "You know what, i'm making a vow never to speak again." Maybe is the way of silent treatment, purnishing someone for something, i honestly dunno. But is just a idea. Correct me if i am wrong. I know someone will. Sometimes i wonder what life is like for them, is it happier, better than mine? Or worst?
Yeah, i will admit i have ideas like this, "Never speaking again, never doing this again, that again..." Still is thouhts, would i really do it? It take some consideration and even dedication and getting used to. Life could be harder for them, speaking is a common thing that probably is necessary all the time. Is how people communicate, but people also communicate in other ways such as writing text and reading. But is just another way, if one isn't available we have back ups. There probably people in the world who can't speak, maybe never learned. People who can't hear so speaking won't work, is a thing people me may wonder how they manage to live. I don't mean to say anyone with such problems cannot live that way, just it must be a different world for them than me, far beyond my own ability to comprehend.
If anyone wonder why i even started mentioning all of this, well i recently had conversation with my parents. There things i don't like about them individually, together, they are basically on two oppisite sides of the same coin, each has things about them that get's noticed negaitvely by them. They have completly different ideas that keeps me wondering why they are still married? If the risk of not being born by them meant that least they both be happier seperated at a earlier time before i could know them then i probably would be on that side, as a fact i had no choice in being born to begin with. I basically wouldn't know this just how i feel right now.
Listen to them argue, or should it be more like each of them standing up in their own ideas and beliefs, with so much conflict i still don't think they were or are not meant for each other, even with their anniversary next week, being married over 30 years, i see no reason to understand why they lasted this long. Not only that but involving me or my siblings in their arguements doesn't help. Is like picking sides, i don't pick sides in a 2 person arguement unless i feel comfortable agreeing with what they say as my own belief. I understand no one is perfect, we all different have individual ways of speaking and understanding this, we all learn differently no matter if we were taught by the same person. Each person is unique and should be respected for it.
So far all i get is yelled at being told "You make me mad, that why i am yelling! Oh would you prefer me to get violent and hit you?" Somehow i don't feel that is something to be said. But you know is true that how some people feel. Having conversation with him in the past, i'm not surprised this is how he would think. I dislike the way he talks to me, it makes me feel exactly like i have felt when in school, never making friends, always being pressured into doing things i don't feel comfortable with, no regards to some concern, something i can feel like i trust to believe. Those are fighting words, or basically bullying, of course i'm a adult and i figured learning how to deal with this a little better i mean it should be different. Lot better perhaps, but i dunno, no one can predict such events easily.
I dislike the yelling, i'm sure no one likes being yell at, it a sign of disrespect, it basically condecending, you're talking down to someone cause you feel they are beneath you in level, rank, class. You think it helps the situation, but it really doesn't. People yell for different reasons, yelling is a way of expressing extreme emotion through words without action. I understand why is a thing by many reasons, except i never know his reason except he is mad, something i wouldn't know unless explained. Whatever the reason is, is not a good one.
Just the thought of this makes me wanna not speak to anyone. I think it will avoid problems i dislike, i think it will keep me at peace, make me happier. Perhaps some people may think of it as a cowardly move. I can see why, but is not about being a coward or giving up on something, is about someone who is trying new things in hope of better effects of what they hope could happen. I like knowing that if something happen, people aren't thinking "It was him, is always him, like usuall." I also like knowing that i don't have to think is myself, not struggling to know if is actually me who is actually the problem, if is obvious i am not. When i am the problem, i will like to know, acknowledge it and try not to do such things again. There people who hold grudges, they either remember something from their past they will never forget and leave alone. Either personally strggling with the idea, dwelling on something ended and over with, or others who will purposely reinstate those things, making it resurface into public existence once again for whatever purpose, whatever the reason, is negative and i like to keep it out of my way on the path of happiness.
I cannot honestly say i actually want a vow of silence as it will change drastically and i had not prepare for it. Having thoughts like this is poison, not good for health, mentally or physically. Is negaitive and could have concequences like anything else people do. So why would someone want that? Is just one of the many things people think about to express themself to others when such common ways do not work. Not every expression has to be openly dramatic, and life changing experiences everyone needs to be part of but i mean is just how some people are. Why do i have thoughts like this, how do i deal with them or prevent things like this from submerging. Stuff and things i dunno, is complex and not easy. I just wish i didn't have things like this in my head, it renders me unable to be happy or focus on important things in life.
"If only i haven't done this, this wouldn't have happen."
"I wish i had known, i would never done this."
"How can i fix this now? Is there nothing i can do?"
Common things people probably would say, doubtful, weakness of things. Not taking responsibility for it, things people have problems with, and i'm mean is real not fake. You mess up, that how it is. Own it. While you come accept that fact, you probably think about how can you prevent such things like this again. You remember this like is your whole life existence, as if you can't go on or move on from this, it will never leave you alone, let you be yourself again. Basically is a form of trauma i guess. While not many of people have such things in their life, people who do, well perhaps may have much to say about it... or maybe wish never to say anything at all.
There are people out there call mime, not really sure of the origin of this, but is basically a person who uses actions to tell expresions and other things without use of vocals. What exaclty brought about this? I dunno, maybe it was a joke, one person got so mad that he decied "You know what, i'm making a vow never to speak again." Maybe is the way of silent treatment, purnishing someone for something, i honestly dunno. But is just a idea. Correct me if i am wrong. I know someone will. Sometimes i wonder what life is like for them, is it happier, better than mine? Or worst?
Yeah, i will admit i have ideas like this, "Never speaking again, never doing this again, that again..." Still is thouhts, would i really do it? It take some consideration and even dedication and getting used to. Life could be harder for them, speaking is a common thing that probably is necessary all the time. Is how people communicate, but people also communicate in other ways such as writing text and reading. But is just another way, if one isn't available we have back ups. There probably people in the world who can't speak, maybe never learned. People who can't hear so speaking won't work, is a thing people me may wonder how they manage to live. I don't mean to say anyone with such problems cannot live that way, just it must be a different world for them than me, far beyond my own ability to comprehend.
If anyone wonder why i even started mentioning all of this, well i recently had conversation with my parents. There things i don't like about them individually, together, they are basically on two oppisite sides of the same coin, each has things about them that get's noticed negaitvely by them. They have completly different ideas that keeps me wondering why they are still married? If the risk of not being born by them meant that least they both be happier seperated at a earlier time before i could know them then i probably would be on that side, as a fact i had no choice in being born to begin with. I basically wouldn't know this just how i feel right now.
Listen to them argue, or should it be more like each of them standing up in their own ideas and beliefs, with so much conflict i still don't think they were or are not meant for each other, even with their anniversary next week, being married over 30 years, i see no reason to understand why they lasted this long. Not only that but involving me or my siblings in their arguements doesn't help. Is like picking sides, i don't pick sides in a 2 person arguement unless i feel comfortable agreeing with what they say as my own belief. I understand no one is perfect, we all different have individual ways of speaking and understanding this, we all learn differently no matter if we were taught by the same person. Each person is unique and should be respected for it.
So far all i get is yelled at being told "You make me mad, that why i am yelling! Oh would you prefer me to get violent and hit you?" Somehow i don't feel that is something to be said. But you know is true that how some people feel. Having conversation with him in the past, i'm not surprised this is how he would think. I dislike the way he talks to me, it makes me feel exactly like i have felt when in school, never making friends, always being pressured into doing things i don't feel comfortable with, no regards to some concern, something i can feel like i trust to believe. Those are fighting words, or basically bullying, of course i'm a adult and i figured learning how to deal with this a little better i mean it should be different. Lot better perhaps, but i dunno, no one can predict such events easily.
I dislike the yelling, i'm sure no one likes being yell at, it a sign of disrespect, it basically condecending, you're talking down to someone cause you feel they are beneath you in level, rank, class. You think it helps the situation, but it really doesn't. People yell for different reasons, yelling is a way of expressing extreme emotion through words without action. I understand why is a thing by many reasons, except i never know his reason except he is mad, something i wouldn't know unless explained. Whatever the reason is, is not a good one.
Just the thought of this makes me wanna not speak to anyone. I think it will avoid problems i dislike, i think it will keep me at peace, make me happier. Perhaps some people may think of it as a cowardly move. I can see why, but is not about being a coward or giving up on something, is about someone who is trying new things in hope of better effects of what they hope could happen. I like knowing that if something happen, people aren't thinking "It was him, is always him, like usuall." I also like knowing that i don't have to think is myself, not struggling to know if is actually me who is actually the problem, if is obvious i am not. When i am the problem, i will like to know, acknowledge it and try not to do such things again. There people who hold grudges, they either remember something from their past they will never forget and leave alone. Either personally strggling with the idea, dwelling on something ended and over with, or others who will purposely reinstate those things, making it resurface into public existence once again for whatever purpose, whatever the reason, is negative and i like to keep it out of my way on the path of happiness.
I cannot honestly say i actually want a vow of silence as it will change drastically and i had not prepare for it. Having thoughts like this is poison, not good for health, mentally or physically. Is negaitive and could have concequences like anything else people do. So why would someone want that? Is just one of the many things people think about to express themself to others when such common ways do not work. Not every expression has to be openly dramatic, and life changing experiences everyone needs to be part of but i mean is just how some people are. Why do i have thoughts like this, how do i deal with them or prevent things like this from submerging. Stuff and things i dunno, is complex and not easy. I just wish i didn't have things like this in my head, it renders me unable to be happy or focus on important things in life.
