My head hurts...

I have been thinking about how some people have such great lives… but what I consider a great life…. is MUCH different from what you might consider a great life.

A lot of people think that a great life is having money to spend whenever they want… having a fancy house and a fancy car. Eating at fancy resturants… but… that’s not what I think…

Nope, I think about it MUCH differently…. here’s what I think a great life is.

I think a great life is one that… you don’t cry yourself asleep every night knowing that you will never have a dad that you can play ball with…

A great life knowing that your mom will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on.

A great life is knowing that when you gratuate from school, your parents will be there together and they will be proud of what their son has done with his life.

I don’t have a great life...

I don’t have a dad to play catch with… or to get advice from… or to go fishing with... Or anything like that.

I don’t have a mom that will be there to comfort me when I am scared. Or, when I need a shoulder to cry on… or to learn from…

I don’t have parents that love each other and are together.

They won’t be there when I graduate.

They won’t be there to send me off to college.


It’s funny… I have this… “dream”... I guess you would call it.

I have this dream that one day I will wake up in a big house. I’ll have a nice big room. I’ll go to the kitchen and my mom will be there with a smile on her face making breakfast… my dad will be in the livingroom watching sports. My brother and sister will be playing with our dogs… everything would be happy. Everyone would be happy. There won’t be any fighting between my parents. They would be happily married. My brother, my sister, and I would get along just fine. My mom and dad would have decent jobs. We would have a car or a truck… or both. We wouldn’t be yelled at for every little thing we do wrong. It would be perfect…

BUT, dreams are just dreams aren’t they? All of those things I just typed are just words… they will never become a reality, now will they? So… everytime I think about having a perfect life… I cry. I cry so hard, I can’t breath… I cry because I know that would never happen. I know that my parents would never get back together. I know that I will never have that special bond with my parents that most people have with theirs.

So… I guess what I am trying to say is… not everyone has a good life. Some people have a bad life because of their personal choices… some people have a bad life because of someone else’s choices. Just remember, everything you do has consequences. They can be good or bad. And they effect everyone around you.

If you think you have a good life, I want you to do me a favor:

Think about all the things you have that other people don’t have.

Think about all the opportunities that you have that others don’t have.

I want you to thank everyone that has helped you to be where you are today.

Whether that is your parents, a teacher, a friend, whoever. Thank them for what they have done for you. And let them be examples for you and your children. (If you have any in the future)

And please… don’t leave your children… it puts too much emotional and mental stress on them. I know that for a fact.
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V
I don't want to be insensitive, but what you're describing is the cliché of american suburb as shown in various TV shows and films and many people would consider that a great life. Considering exactly that a great life and something to strive for is/was the standard in your culture (I can't belive that I as a outsider have to explain that...) especially for conservatives. By no means is that the standard most people enjoy. That beeing said you mentioned "you don’t cry yourself asleep every night knowing that you will never have a dad that you can play ball with", if you lost your dad a short time ago or had any other major additional trouble in life in the last weeks you should talk with someone about it. If nothing major hit you in the last few weeks you really should consider going to a professional in regards of mental health. Maybe just talking abit with someone who is professional trained regards of emotional stuff could be a relieve and eventually healing in some way. Your post sounds like a cry for help, you really should consider to direct that to a teacher you like or maybe even your mom (yes, yes. I read it, but you should try it anyway :)).

It most likely isn't as dark as you think. So, and now something to laugh :D
 
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Ev1lbl0w
Even if you feel like your life was stolen from you and you can't create the memories others have with their parents, you must not let that defeat you.
You are worthy of love, of hapiness. Don't you ever think you don't deserve it, you're not a "sacrifice": you wish for the hapiness of others, but you too can be happy. You're not inferior, and you too deserve to have a great life.
 
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FAST6191
While we are free to define our own goals, desires and measures of success in life I must say I find yours as posted there to be rather strange.

I guess having two parents to do 50s fantasy sitcom stuff with you is not a bad thing, indeed probably beneficial if you take a society wide slice, but it seems so very very far from essential. It is also not the sort of thing which can be achieved by your actions, or hard work on your part, neither is/was the breakup likely facilitated by you.

If it is all still pretty raw then yeah feel it if you need to. The stuff in the opening post seems rather abstract though, possibly bordering on a fixation (and a fixation upon an imaginary idealised concept is not a great thing to have).

Spin it another way "I don’t have parents that love each other and are together."... that would appear to be but a single "positive" option. Why not have parents that are separated and happy with other people, or happy by themselves? It is but one thing of those you mentioned but if you can start to consider other paths and reframe things then you can start to do more for you.

"There won’t be any fighting between my parents."
Why is that a good thing? The only times I have ever seen it in life is when someone is a complete doormat and allows their opinions on things to be completely overridden. A bit of healthy debate about the course of things is a worth having.
 
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kuwanger
> If you think you have a good life, I want you to do me a favor:

A good life is one in which you don't make yourself suffer for wants when your needs are sated. Many people have needs that are not sated, yet they continue to have a positive outlook for the needs they have that are sated. I find that both commendable and also very sad. I guess that's one reason why the expression "at least you have your health" really sticks with me. It's also why it's so hard to understand why so many people are actively against the unhealthy.

*sigh*
 
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