So after the move here, I still think about everyone back where i left them. I thought it was going to be an easy transition, but... me constantly thinking about them just makes me down and depress... So I tell myself, "I don't care about them anymore (or i shouldn't care) because we live states apart now and they have their own life to live, like me". I just tell myself this, hoping that i will one day believe it to release myself from this mental prison. But, i don't want it to be true either. If it is, then i will have forgotten them. I don't want to forget them because they made me the person that I am today.
I keeping hoping that this whole change in my life was nothing but a dream. That at the end of this dream, i will wake up. Wake up on a typical school day and get ready like any other morning. Go wait at the light rail and ride it to school with Beth. Hang out and play cards with Brandon. But I know that THAT will forever be THE DREAM now... that what I hope to wake up to, will be the image that I will see in my sleep...
Well that was one depressing post... i just need to get busy. Get a part time job, get back into school. I just need to occupy myself and I will never have to dwell in these thoughts and feels. I really want to continue school, i don't want to wait for a year... because I feel that by going to school, i can hopefully make new friends here that will take my mind away from the friends that i left behind.
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwk... this is harder than i thought it would be... if i haven't became close with Beth and Michelle, i wouldn't be like this... dare I say, "I regret being close to them"??...
I keeping hoping that this whole change in my life was nothing but a dream. That at the end of this dream, i will wake up. Wake up on a typical school day and get ready like any other morning. Go wait at the light rail and ride it to school with Beth. Hang out and play cards with Brandon. But I know that THAT will forever be THE DREAM now... that what I hope to wake up to, will be the image that I will see in my sleep...
Well that was one depressing post... i just need to get busy. Get a part time job, get back into school. I just need to occupy myself and I will never have to dwell in these thoughts and feels. I really want to continue school, i don't want to wait for a year... because I feel that by going to school, i can hopefully make new friends here that will take my mind away from the friends that i left behind.
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwk... this is harder than i thought it would be... if i haven't became close with Beth and Michelle, i wouldn't be like this... dare I say, "I regret being close to them"??...
