I think my deficiencies are starting to get to me.

Hey man. I've lived with similar (if not worse) problems all my life. It gets better the more you work at it, and realize what you're doing.

I'm not going to tell you that life will get easier as you transition to living in the adult world with a trait like that. Life doesn't get easier for people in general but as you get older you will really appreciate the efforts you're taking at present, to stay centered and patient when things get really difficult. I don't have a similar disorder but one of my best teenagehood friends has Asperger's and I could see how frustrating and isolating it can be to be different.

I saw a film earlier this year produced in Belgium (in 2007) and it's called Ben X. In some ways the film really helped me to realize the frustrations that individuals like my friend, and perhaps yourself, must encounter as a young man. Though I was kind of disappointed at the end, the film was pretty good and I wouldn't ordinarily watch a foreign drama if it weren't for the subject matter.

I know how hard it can be with stammering though! I get stuck on words often too, but it's more of a pickiness about using the most correct vocabulary word that I could pull out of the brain that trips me from getting the point across. But stammering also runs in my family.. and it usually frustrates others more than it bothers me.. When I talk to my friends in VoIP I often get into long narratives that digress in many different directions due to the conversation or feedback, or tangents. And it happens to me every time. I fail to correctly or completely verbalize stuff a lot because of the chaotic but verbose mind, unless it's an actual debate. Writing in text is a lot easier in this respect because you have control over the product of your keyboard when you may not have control over the products of your voice. Especially on forums, I go back and correct my posts almost every single time I post.. often, the wrong syllable gets typed even though I had the right word in my head.

I appreciate what Sterling said but I use different words, as my experiences with being special are because of psychiatric and not neurological reasons, so how I relate to what you're going through is probably very different besides that I'm female. I'll want to be concise about it but I can't help but be very personal and I must elaborate in order to explain why I did this and how it worked out for me.

Find or create a healthy "place" to escape in your own soul. It has to be centered inside your heart, and that escape can't depend on other people for it to be there permanently. I created that place in my heart where I go when I listen to music I really love, or that I occasionally revisit by playing the games that I played in my happiest times in my past. Or re-reading books, or watching Anime I am very fond of.

I was a little bit older than you when I first discovered needed to have that place, in order to stay grounded and not feel overwhelmed or out of my mind. I can't in good conscience direct you about faith, but if you have one, that is a positive thing to keep in that place. But you can never rely on people to be in that place, because it can make heartbreak worse.
I take that back. If someone you love has passed away, then they can become a part of that place. I got a tattoo on my back memorializing my best friend who passed when I was 19 representing his permanent presence in my heart. (It's a gravestone with his name that has an angel crying over it, I meant it to literally represent his soul being partly inside of me.)

It is hard at first, to make it the center. You don't start out with a lot to "visit" or a lot of experience of it "working" but once it becomes part of the way you balance your hardships day by day, you will see and realize your actions more, your consequences more, ideally. Were it not for having this "place" in my heart, I would probably still struggle and need medication just to stay out of hospitals, but I realize it's unfair to compare you to myself so please don't take it like that's my intention. I mean well. You'll develop strength so that when that shitty adult world of jobs and taxes and love (or the quest for it) hits you full force, it won't feel like hell's opened up at your feet.

When I was younger I usually tried to create that paradise every time I went to sleep with troubles on my mind. Seeing as that you're from dreamland, I'm guessing that you like to escape to dreams too.

I hope you'll forgive me for having so much more to say than you did <.<