From a young age, my siblings and I faced a lot of hardships and had to overcome far more than any child should. Having an unstable home life and bouncing from foster home to foster home, we lost much of our early childhood to the time spent not being able to enjoy those years. What did help us through many of these struggles were my grandparents, both of who had just finished raising their own kids before deciding to take my siblings and me into their lives. The years we spent were filled with a lot of pain, struggles, hardships, and so much but yet they did everything they could to try to raise us. They did everything they could to help us have as normal a childhood as we could have given everything we had faced. Sending us to school, buying us toys and video games, and even spending time enjoying much of the media we enjoyed. My grandparents were there for us trying their best to help us eventually enter adulthood and live our lives. My grandmother, Mary, was a very kind and gentle woman. She had her flaws, a lot of them, but she always tried to help everyone to the best of her abilities. Even though her movement was limited due to her health, she still tried to do what she could to help raise us. Despite her age, she still found so much joy in many of the games we were playing. She loved Pokemon just as much as her grandkids and even had a nice collection of cards, games, and other media around the series. She used to wake up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons and anime with us when we were in school. When Yu-Gi-Oh came out, she enjoyed the anime but didn’t care much for the cards. She still encouraged us to enjoy the games and even learned some of the basics of how the game was played. I learned that being an adult didn’t mean giving up things that I enjoy. That being an adult didn’t mean I needed to stop loving media series like Pokemon, Digimon, and many other series I watched people either grow out of or decide to give up to “grow up.” I learned how to be determined and just express myself as who I am. She never once made me feel bad for being myself, if anything, she was always happy to see me grow into who I am. When she learned that I was bisexual, she didn’t even hesitate to say how happy she was for me to have figured that out for myself. When I told her that I am trans, she didn’t give me some fake happiness, she was truly happy to hear that I was working towards bettering my life. With every change, every accomplishment, and even every failure, she was happy to know I was growing and coming into my own. She never once made me feel like I was unloved.
As the years went on and my free time started to grow thinner, so did her ability to communicate and share. I started to learn of her failing health and knew that one day was going to be the last for her. I did everything I could to one day see her again and in 2019, I was able to accomplish that goal. After nearly 10 years of not seeing my family, years spent being abused by the same monster who took me from them, I was on a greyhound to see them. I was 19 when I last saw my family and here I was sitting nearly 30 and finally able to see them again. My grandmother’s health had sadly depleted to a very weak state. She was barely recognizable compared to the woman I had last seen before leaving. But she was still my grandmother and I could tell that she still loved me and was so happy to see me again. I could tell she was happy to see that I was finally doing better. I don’t know how much she understood me when we spoke but at least I knew she was happy that I was there talking to her one more time. I could tell that time was running out for her. I started to make plans to see her one more time before the end.
When Covid struck, I knew things were going to get harder. Money started running out after Aryia lost her job. My job wasn’t paying enough to keep any kind of savings. We couldn’t see them again during that time and started to quickly eat at me. The last time I saw my grandmother, it was so short. When we moved, I knew we had to do everything possible to eventually see my family. During this time I was unemployed due to an injury lawsuit but I was still trying my best to make money somehow. Eventually, I picked up a part-time job, which I quit shortly after. I then picked up another part-time job but that ended up falling through. During this time, I got a call in October of 2022, my grandmother didn’t have much time left. I moved my focus and started working with my lawyer and we won the lawsuit. I was able to get my payout from the lawsuit and everything was set in motion.
December 21st, 2022, Aryia and I got into her car and started our 800+ mile trip across the country to my home state of Massachusetts. The anxiety weighed heavily on me during this trip to Mass. After a long drive and sleeping in our car, we got to my friend’s house to spend the night before going to our motel. We spent the night preparing and finally went to see my family again for Christmas. My wife got to meet everyone and they loved her so much. My family adored her the entire time we were there. I could tell my grandmother was on her last legs but I could also tell just how happy she was to see me for Christmas and to finally meet my wife. Despite how much of her had been lost over the years, her joy was so much of who I remembered. We spent our time in New England adventuring and stopping by to see my family during the trip. When we finally decided to leave on New Year's, we stopped by my family to see them off. My grandmother gave me one of the strongest hugs she could give, I held my own but I could tell we both knew this would be our last hug. I cried the entire trip over to see my mom before we set off for our journey back home.
Two days later, my grandmother went to the hospital where she would remain throughout the rest of January and until her passing. This was the last attempt to keep her living just a little longer but eventually, everyone knew. She was taken off life support when her lungs started to fill with fluid and given morphine so she wouldn’t suffer. During the early morning of January 25th, 2023, she passed peacefully in her sleep.
She will be missed by her family and I hope she is resting well. She had a hard life and hope she’s been able to find peace. I loved her and I hope she knows that I am so happy to have been raised by such an amazing person.
-The Catboy
