Returned to work

Completed my first week back at work this past Friday. Whew...

Started back on the 20th. Didn't realize what I was coming back to. The area VP was coming for a visit, so everyone was already in overtime mode, breaking their fucking backs to get everything ready.

For clarity, I've been on medical leave for the past 10 months due to brain cancer that also causes Focal Onset Aware Seizures, which were getting very bad when I finally took my leave -- about 10 a day on average -- very intense, terrifying and literally debilitating. The tumor is located in the left frontal lobe of my brain, which affects emotions, mobility, memory, etc. Both the radiation/chemotherapy treatments (surgery was not an option due to the tumor's location -- wedged right in the middle of delicate arteries and vessels) and the tumor itself seem to have been the cause of me becoming hyper sensitive to all forms of stimulus, namely sound, touch, smells and taste. Through all the treatment, the tumor has seemingly shrunk very little. I'm told it was, at the time of the first MRI last August, about 6.2 cm, and is now about 4.8 cm. Though the seizures are mostly under control through two types of medication, I'm still sensitive to stimulus and...

Very out of shape.

I simply could not be very mobile during treatment, as you can imagine. About midway through radiation treatment, which was five days a week for six weeks, it was necessary to be put on steroids so I could still walk, otherwise I simply couldn't function. Once I was done with radiation and solely on chemotherapy, I was at least able to go for short walks with my wife most days when the weather was clear. Still, it wasn't enough exercise to get back in the kind of shape my work requires.

Short story long, this first week broke me hard. Been living on Ibuprofen for the past couple of days. Thankfully, the excruciating muscle pain in my lower back seems to be subsiding today. But I've got another four-day stretch ahead of me for the rest of this week (worked yesterday as day one of week two). Glad to be out of the house, but wow...it just wasn't what I was expecting in terms of the pain. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Comments

Oh man, that's rough! I wish you the best Geeky, you know where to look for support and a kind word. Tempies stick together and whatnot. ;)
 
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Didn't know you were dealing with such things. Did some stuff with a head injury charity before so saw similar things a few times and was among the more unpleasant things there. Some of the modern treatments (as in last 5 years) for some of them are pretty sweet though and hopefully you fall under their remit.

I would say though don't overdo it, even if this is some kind of "what I can while I can" ploy.
 
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Definitely shouldn't push yourself too hard, work is just work - life is more important, and to be enjoyed. There's only so many worries that can be on your mind at any given time, make sure they're the right ones. Push the remaining ones aside, leaving some room for relaxation and fun.
 
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Thank you, guys. And Foxi4, I know you're right. The hard part is remembering :D . My mind won't stfu up sometimes! :D
 
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