I'm not happy, I mean I have felt happy like joy and when I'm hearing a funny joke. But I'm not truly happy, I may have actual depression though I'm not sure since I know people who are much worse. The only way I feel anything of happiness is helping friends with thier problems, even if it helps them a while later they are back to feeling like shit. Not to mention it happens to multiple people everyday, my life is a metaphorical balancing act where I have to balance everything or fall down and lock away my feelings, which I don't want. Hell even today a friend from the Temp isnt doing well, those who know him know who I'm talking about, but I'd prefer you don't make it known. I can't even help him, which honestly destroys me. It's getting to a point where I feel I'm going to break and let me be honest and say it won't be a fun experience for anyone if I do. I'm not happy, at least I'm not truly happy. I don't even know if I ever will be, I'm hopeful but at this point with all this shit going on I'm reaching a breaking point. I want to help my friends, I want to make them feel loved, but when I can't help, it hurts.
Sorry for my incoherent rambling, I just needed to vent. I'm sorry for being a bad friend to anyone I've hurt unknown to my knowledge, and I'm sorry my current friends and especially one for not being able to help you right now.
I'm sorry...
Sorry for my incoherent rambling, I just needed to vent. I'm sorry for being a bad friend to anyone I've hurt unknown to my knowledge, and I'm sorry my current friends and especially one for not being able to help you right now.
I'm sorry...