Get one of those Japanese toilets with a bidet, seat warmer and automatic lid. The first time you pressure wash your butt, there's no going back to toilet paper 
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ThoD
True that, toilet paper isn't even really meant to clean your ass after you take a dump, it's just so your clothes won't stain until you get to shower, so Japanese robot toilets are the perfect replacement, even if a bit pricey!
D
Deleted User
Your family's fallen into the panic as well, huh? Fortunately I managed to convince mine that it's all a bunch of fearmongering bs. Only downside is that supplies are running out at Woolies and stuff because of these doomsday prepping retards.
AkiraKurusu
@kikongokiller That's the problem - Woolworth's (and Coles, too) running out of stuff, so Mum thinks we need to stock up on toilet paper. And seemingly ONLY toilet paper. She's not stocking up due to Corona, per se, just the shops' supply being low.
- No one is chatting at the moment.
Corona is a real pain, even without catching it...