Please! Remember that this is a blog about topics quite serious to me! So keep it seriously! And remember, my English isn't so good.
Broken. That's what I'm feeling now writing this blog. Broken for multiple things.
I will go calmly to explain the reasons why I feel that way.
First, I'm starting a new school. New friends, new people to know. That's the point. New people to know. I'm just so bad to make new friends. The real me is not like the MartyDreamy of Gbatemp, Discord or whatever. The real Martina is a shy girl who has difficulty to make new friends. "But everybody can't be your friends, there will be someone who will hate you for no reason" and that's true. But I can't just make a friend. ONE FUCKING FRIEND. I'm alone. And that hurts me so much. I'm just asking to myself, what's wrong with me? Why I can't make new friends? Why MartyDreamy can? I'm just trying to be sweet or gentle like I am for real, but it doesn't matter. My classmate just ignores me. And I don't the fuck know why.
Another reason. My parents are not very good at health. And this can make them sad and angry sometimes wondering why all these problems. I'm not thinking it's my fault and they do not even think of it. But this also makes me very sad.
And the last one, I broke with my "boyfriend" (In quotes as it could not be said that the one we were in was a serious relationship, at least for him) He just starts to ignore me for no reason, go with other girls and start treating me badly. I'm not one of those girls who let me subdue by the boy, I also came to throw a slap on his face. I forgive him 2 times for other things. Now I don't want to see him. Not anymore. This year was terrible for my family and me. This year makes my heart and my soul broken.
I thank everyone who read this blog. I finally ventured. I hope you've taken this blog seriously and as I said before, do not joke about these things, at least with me.
A kiss from Martina