I'm feeling...broken

Please! Remember that this is a blog about topics quite serious to me! So keep it seriously! And remember, my English isn't so good.
Broken. That's what I'm feeling now writing this blog. Broken for multiple things.
I will go calmly to explain the reasons why I feel that way.
First, I'm starting a new school. New friends, new people to know. That's the point. New people to know. I'm just so bad to make new friends. The real me is not like the MartyDreamy of Gbatemp, Discord or whatever. The real Martina is a shy girl who has difficulty to make new friends. "But everybody can't be your friends, there will be someone who will hate you for no reason" and that's true. But I can't just make a friend. ONE FUCKING FRIEND. I'm alone. And that hurts me so much. I'm just asking to myself, what's wrong with me? Why I can't make new friends? Why MartyDreamy can? I'm just trying to be sweet or gentle like I am for real, but it doesn't matter. My classmate just ignores me. And I don't the fuck know why.
Another reason. My parents are not very good at health. And this can make them sad and angry sometimes wondering why all these problems. I'm not thinking it's my fault and they do not even think of it. But this also makes me very sad.
And the last one, I broke with my "boyfriend" (In quotes as it could not be said that the one we were in was a serious relationship, at least for him) He just starts to ignore me for no reason, go with other girls and start treating me badly. I'm not one of those girls who let me subdue by the boy, I also came to throw a slap on his face. I forgive him 2 times for other things. Now I don't want to see him. Not anymore. This year was terrible for my family and me. This year makes my heart and my soul broken.
I thank everyone who read this blog. I finally ventured. I hope you've taken this blog seriously and as I said before, do not joke about these things, at least with me.

A kiss from Martina :shy:
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New school? So, you're young. Coming from someone who changed schools almost every year up until high school? I can tell you.. Dont go looking for people. It's a natural connection that comes and goes. You'll find someone. Sounds like the year started recently for just about everyone. You may never know, tomorrow you could run into someone who shares your resolve. Give it time, it can be hard but you'll pull through. I promise.
 
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I think this is a normal part of growing up. Amazingly many people are shy, even in college classes I take. Its probably due to social media. Many people nowadays have trouble making friends. They don't have good communication skills because of social media. The just never got the practice. People directly tell me in classes that they're shy.

Have you ever tried talking to people? Maybe its your demeanor, how you present yourself. If you sound like an unpleasant person to talk to, then people won't talk with you. Try being friendly. You say your trying to be gentle and sweet, but maybe people don't see that. A lot of times we imagine ourselves as one thing but don't realize that were actually something different. Maybe you have a shy quiet voice but you don't realize it?

You don't have to have anything in common with people to talk with them. Many people are just bored and want someone, anyone to talk to. At least thats how its been with my experience. There are those few occasional assholes, who just don't know how to talk to people, so they come off as rude. But this is more of their problem. They're just socially inept.
 
You may feel bad now but it gets better. You seem like a nice person, you'll make friends after a while.
Moving to new schools is always a rough thing, but as @Memoir said don't try too hard. It gets easier. Lol, thanks for sharing your problem with us @MartyDreamy, it gets better I swear.
 
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Come on, I know it sounds bad, but you can make friends, you get along with some people here, like me. :)

It sounds a bit off putting to say "Just keep trying, don't give up" But you know, is new school so new things are to happen. Everyone knows that when starting new schools. I have problems socializing to the point doctor's examination say I have Aspergers syndrome. Still I believe I'm normal and people will just be people, bad seeds and no good rotten eggs. But you have to remember not everyone is that bad and you can make friends (even if is online and not always "IRL") Still I wish i can be much more help but I don't want to waste your time repeating some obvious things. All I can say is to remember there is something good to be found even if it not the first thing you expect. :ninja:

Still you have places like here where people aren't like the ones they're in school. (Okay I can't vouch for everyone of us but you already know some of us are good) Still is a matter of who you associate with, stay away from the bad people and find good people, you don't have time to waste on people who aren't interested in such things. Is not mean, is just progress, have to keep things moving forward, the hard part is not looking back sometimes and wondering of the potential. Trust me, I was one of those people who try making friends, then end up disliking me for very dumb reasons like "Oh you like this game, well I don't, so long Loser."

Don't be with those people, be with people who make you happy, you can least say you tried, is always better to try than do nothing. Some people are lucky enough to not have to work so hard, but not everyone is the same. :unsure:
 
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You're in that age where things will seem confusing and it only goes downhill from here on out, BUT...
Don't worry too much about friends, you'll find it easier to just make a friend unexpected than to expect for some friends.
Same goes with loving relationships, don't force or expect something, just live your life and you'll meet people along your life who will make you feel like you're in the clouds, friends or lover. An unexpected surprise is better than an expected one.
As for people hating you and your classmate ignoring you, ignore it yourself. People around that age behave like that and nobody knows why, teens can be fucking assholes.
Just be yourself, those who ignore you are most likely bothered by it, ''Those who shine the most, bother the ones in the dark''
I have more friends online than real life but also went through the same as you when I was your age, it got better.
Meeting friends is easy as you get older and older but just stay true to yourself, always. Those who don't like it can either fuck off or die in hell... or both.
Don't change for no one, only for yourself.
 
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