Honesty

well, what the mind thinks isn't always true. there's probably some great philosopher who went insane trying to read into that. after all, it is human to make mistakes. you just tend to notice them more often. nothing over-the-top, and it happens to the best of us! sure, it may seem like we sugarcoat things, but you're comparing that to your own, mean part of your mind. whenever you forget something important, you can learn to take that opportunity.

seeing "being honest with yourself" as literally bullying yourself because you made a mistake is not ok. you should stand up to bullying, meaning you should stand up to yourself. even if you feel as though you aren't what we say you are, you can become that way.

thank oyu for coming to my tl;dr talk lol.. sorry if this was a bit long without grammar.. too lazy

"I think that lots of people who say good stuff about me (like being smart) are lying"

First and foremost, "smart" and "not smart" are terms made up by those who are trying to excuse a skill issue, which is capable of being acquired by anyone who has a good attitude.

I was called both extremely stupid/(rhymes with kneetard) and smart/a prodigy; I never liked either.

I accomplished what I did in Martial Arts, Medical Science, Engineeering Entrepreneurship, Robotics, etc. due to a good attitude. And I was called irresponsible and lazy by those who gave up on showing up to work as admins themselves and likewise an "extreme overachieving workaholic" by CEO's of major businesses who work until 2:00 AM daily including weekends in places such as Manhattan.

Here is what my former instructor had to say about that:


This is years after being considered the worst one, and years before defeating the best. It's just practice with a good attitude.

I will never call you smart, nor will I ever say you are not smart; a good attitude is completely within your control, and unlike prodigies, those with good attitudes do not limit what they do to the likes of genetics, IQ's, and other nonsense; they just put in effort with a good attitude.

With that out of the way, many have already told me they wished I was dead, that it is a shame that I lived through septic shock, etc. and did their best to leave me to die during times such as when I was coughing blood from my lungs; it happens, and I don't take it personally; they just hate Who I side with, that's all.

Now, I recommend you take it easy and relax to the highest extent possible. I have seen many terrible things, grew up in a physically abusive home, and guarantee that as an adult, with secret police hitmen that came after me, there is _nothing_ to ever be worried about. I'm quite easygoing in general. And I've been in situations prior where I could count the number of friends or anyone close to me I had on this earth on my fingers on one hand, with a closed fist. But God is Faithful.

Take it easy and relax! I'm not worried about you.