I know I just made a blog entry not too long ago, but I'm at a loss as far as making amends with someone I deeply offended two months ago. It hurts, a lot, and I wish I never said those horrific things to this person's friend. Here's the lowdown, there were two friends, one I knew and met personally, and the other I didn't know all that well, both are fox owners. The one I didn't know well unfriends me because, well, probably to purge her list to only people she knows, I took it personally as usual, go fig, so I emailed her, calling her out. It was not a good day, very stressed out, but I don't remember why. I used language I rarely used against people I know. Well, it went to hell in a hand basket, she was rightfully livid, threatened to press charges if I emailed her again and I thought that was the end, so I dropped it. Oh no, that wasn't the end, she not only posted the private email conversation on Facebook, but this alienated a couple of other people I knew, this leads me to the other fox owner I was friends with. She PMs me, tells me that she found out what I told her other friend via email, is clearly disappointed at my severe negativity and doesn't want said negativity and unfriends me as well. Now, I obviously deeply regret saying those horrifically trenchant things. She hasn't blocked me, surprisingly, and even talked to me a couple of times since, but only small talk; at this point, I don't know what to do, I want to make amends, I don't like leaving these things unresolved and alone to fester only for it to get worse and worse. The fact I alienated and deeply offended another unknowingly tears me up inside, I'm normally not like this. I attempted to send an apology a while back, a sincere but short one, and so far, no response from her, but not blocked either. I'm getting mixed signals from this, if she would have blocked me, she would have done so by now, but hasn't, not that I'm complaining. I don't know if I should keep waiting, send her an apology card with some flowers, publicly apologize for calling the original member out, I'm so conflicted.
To sum up, I don't know why I did what I did, why I can't seem to make amends, and why I have a hard time letting it go and forgiving myself for having used such fierceness in my email.
Sometimes, like now, I'm reading her posts, my close fox owner friend I alienated, and it hurts, it makes me want to cry at the thought I may never be able to speak to her, much less see her ever again I really don't know what to do...
To sum up, I don't know why I did what I did, why I can't seem to make amends, and why I have a hard time letting it go and forgiving myself for having used such fierceness in my email.
Sometimes, like now, I'm reading her posts, my close fox owner friend I alienated, and it hurts, it makes me want to cry at the thought I may never be able to speak to her, much less see her ever again I really don't know what to do...
