LISTEN HERE BITCH

[AlanJohn]

I AM YOU'RE NEW ANUS.
LOVE ME, HATE ME, I AM YOUR NEW ANUS. OOH, I SEE YOU'RE MAD? WELL, YOU SHOULD BE MAD, BECAUSE I AM YOUR ANUS. EVERY TIME YOU HAVE SEX I HAVE SEX TOO, SOMETHING YOU VIRGINS WILL NEVER HAVE. I EAT YOUR SHIT JUST TO SAY THAT I EAT LITTLE PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST. HAHAHAAHA! - WAIT, WAS THAT A BAD LAUGH? I'M SORRY, I'M STILL PRACTICING THIS EVIL-SHIT. SO, BACK TO TOPIC! OK, NOW, I WILL BE YOUR ANUS. YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT. I WILL BE DOING EVERYTHING YOUR OLD, SHITTY, GRUNDY ASS DID BEFORE ME. THIS INCLUDES:

1. MAKE SHIT
2. MAKE SHIT COME OUT
3. GIVE BIRTH
4. EVALUATE SHIT
5. MAKE CRAP
6. ENJOY ANAL SEX
7. DISPOSE SHIT DURING ANAL SEX
8. DISPOSE SHIT WHEN YOU DO NOT WANT ME TOO

OK, BITCH DID YOU GET THAT RIGHT? THATS ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™ FOR ONLY 19.99$

ORDER NOW AND GET A FireGay® PENILE JAMMER™ FOR FREE. HERE'S HOW TO ORDER:

Call 1-800-anal-johney.
All calls in the USA are free. This is a TV-only product, it cannot be bought in stores.

 

[DiscostewSM]

I said what what?

 

[AlanJohn]

I said what what?

YOU SAID WHAT WHAT, IN THE ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™
YOU SAID WHAT WHAT, IN THE ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™
YOU SAID WHAT WHAT, IN THE ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™
YOU SAID WHAT WHAT, IN THE ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™
YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™, IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™?
YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™, IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™?
YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™, IN MY ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™?
LETS DO IT IN THE ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™, OKAY

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

shutupandtakeallmymoney.jpg

 

[machomuu]

Finally, I ordered my new anus weeks ago.

 

[AlanJohn]

@PEOPLE_WHO_DON'T_BUY_ALAN JOHN'S® OFFICIAL ANUS™:
GO FUCK YOURSELF, ANALLY!

 

[machomuu]

I didn't know how to apply it, so I threw it away.

 

[The Catboy]

I am quite pleased with the anus I have right now. Thank you very much.

 

[AlanJohn]

I didn't know how to apply it, so I threw it away.

IT'S QUITE SIMPLE, MY FRIEND.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS FIND A 0.6MM DRILL AND INSERT IT INTO YOUR BELLY-BUTTON. AFTER 3 MINUTES OF USING THE DRILL, EVENTUALLY YOUR OLD ANUS WILL FALL. AFTER THE ANUS IS NO-LONGER A PART OF YOUR BODY, LITTLE GNOMES AND TROLLS WILL START POPPING OUT OF THE PLACE THAT USED TO BE YOUR ANUS. NOW, AFTER ALL OF THE GNOMES AND TROLLS ARE GONE, YOU ARE ELIGIBLE TO INSERT YOUR NEW ALAN JOHN® OFFICIAL ANUS™~~!!

 

[TheRedfox]

...
...
...
My brain can't handle that instructions, i lost my ***** xD

 

[machomuu]

I didn't know how to apply it, so I threw it away.

IT'S QUITE SIMPLE, MY FRIEND.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS FIND A 0.6MM DRILL AND INSERT IT INTO YOUR BELLY-BUTTON. AFTER 3 MINUTES OF USING THE DRILL, EVENTUALLY YOUR OLD ANUS WILL FALL. AFTER THE ANUS IS NO-LONGER A PART OF YOUR BODY, LITTLE GNOMES AND TROLLS WILL START POPPING OUT OF THE PLACE THAT USED TO BE YOUR ANUS. NOW, AFTER ALL OF THE GNOMES AND TROLLS ARE GONE, YOU ARE ELIGIBLE TO INSERT YOUR NEW ALAN JOHN® OFFICIAL ANUS™~~!!

I'm not using an anus I just threw away.

 

[Black-Ice]

 

[Quietlyawesome94]

Wuh? I just got done installing your last product!

Spoiler

 

[TheRedfox]

Well, i finally finished removing my anus.
But i lost my penis and balls cuz i did it wrong
Now i want $500 because you gived me wrong instructions

 

[AlanJohn]

Well, i finally finished removing my anus.
But i lost my penis and balls cuz i did it wrong
Now i want $500 because you gived me wrong instructions

YOU STILL HAVE A PENIS AND BALLS? LOL, N00B! REAL MEN GET CASTRATED!

 

[Brian117]

Oh god, I thought you left...

Guess dreams don't last forever.

 

[AlanJohn]

Oh god, I thought you left...

Guess dreams don't last forever.

LURK MOAR
THE LAST TIME I LEFT GBATEMP WAS 32 MONTHS AGO.

 

[FireGrey]

oh gawd my penile jammer does not mix well with the anus i ordered from you!

 

[SinHarvest24]

:meme:

[]spoier too drunl to llook for one[]/spoelr

 

[Luigi2012SM64DS]

ok i got my anus but how do i use it? do i put it in my butt?