If your console/PC could talk

[nico445]

DS Why am i looking better than that dirty ds lite of your brother?
PC : stop running xp i'm made for 98!
NGC : Why did you sell me for only 20 Euro's

GBA SP : Why did you give me to your sister?! My battery is almost deadnow im so badly scatched i hate you!

 

[KDH]

DS Lite: I'm brand new! What happened to the guy I replaced?
DS: What he succeeded at the first time he failed at the second.
Old DS Lite: You hypocritical bastard, you took advantage of them after condemning others for doing it? How the hell did you screw up installing FlashMe the SECOND time you tried it anyway?
Wii: Will you PLEASE stop trying to intentionally crash WiiPhysics!
PS2: You still play me? Wow, I guess it is a good thing you put that hard drive in, even if you did have to remove part of my network adapter...
N64 1: Will you please take this box off of my house? Sometime in the next year at least?
N64 2: Hey, at least you didn't get stuck being stored in a defunct microwave.
SNES 1: Are you ever going to finish constructing that portable housing for me?
SNES 2: Yeah, I'm tired of sharing my power cord with him.
GBA: Why the hell did you give me to your sister!?! You know she doesn't take care of anything!
GBA SP: I danced and died a thousand times... Let me out of this padded cell, it's making me crazy!
PC: Was it absolutely necessary to give my second hard drive to the PS2? I wouldn't have minded, but I had to go through the distasteful act of having windows installed AGAIN! Couldn't you just lived with the games you can play in wine? By the way, I think this new video card might be making me sick.
Laptop: Pipedown! Can't you see he's trying to find the best set of applications to run alongside Fluxbox?

 

[darkangel5000]

GBA: It's dark in here... I like it dark... Who needs backlight 'n shit? ?_?
GBA SP: (Ninten-- fuck, the battery is running low. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ...
NDS: Where the fuck am I? And why am I taken apart? And whats going on with all these replacement parts? HOLY SHIT! YOU BETTER TELL ME NOW!
NDS Lite: When do you put those smart protective-stickers on me again? ;_;
PSP: HAY, I CAN PLAY GAMES TOO. IT'S ALL ABOUT FUN... C'MON PUT AN UMD INTO ME *twitches*

SNES: You've promised me AGES AGO that you would buy me a Secret of Mana cartdridge. Stupid bastard.
N64: Finish OoT!
GCN: Hay I'm dusty n stuff. Clean me D:
Wii: *wiggle*
360: Play with me! ... no, wait... the RROD is omnipresent.... no. Don't play with me. Leave it as it is.... *sob*

PC: TURN ME OFF ALREADY IM RUNNING LIKE 3 YEARS WITHOUT OR AT LEAST WITH LITTLE STOPS! THIS FUCKS ME UP! GRAWWWWWWWW *hard disc scratching noise*

 

[RebelX]

PC: Stop using me for porn and get me out of this small form factor case! It's hot!
PS2: RUNNIN' ON 6 YEARS NOW!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO *cough weeze*
DS Lite: OMG stop using me just for Nitrotracker! Those catchy chiptunes are getting annoying...
Phat DS: After all that time we spent together you replace me? You won't do better than me, RebelX!
PSP: Could we please stop watching the mating rituals of humans? OH GOD WHAT IS THIS STICKY WHITE STUFF UNDER MY BUTTONS???
GBA SP: You haven't charged me 4 years... Why am I still alive?
Wonderswan: What the hell? The people have really round eyes! And the language... It doesn't sound Korean.... HELP!!! (I would have said it in Korean but then RebelX would get in trouble)


Now you guys know a lot about my lifestyle.

 

[Panzer Tacticer]

PC "Upgrade me or you become an honest consumer"

DS "You bought me to occupy your time while traveling, but you never go anywhere!"

 

[fateastray]

PSP: "You make me feel special"
DS: "You never even look at me, do you have someone else?" (Yes, a psp)
PC: "X_X"

 

[Forstride]

Wii: "This kid's laptop has taken him over" *Shoots discs at laptop*
DS: "HA! I'm still played. And he's still getting (downloading) new games for me!"
PS2: "Yeah, well I have GH2 and GH3!"
Laptop: *Sticks tongue, or cd drive, or whatever can be related to a tongue out at all of them*

 

[Henrike]

PC - Get me a DESCENT CONNECTION!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
- You know... you don't have to DOWNLOAD porn, you can just copy from your friends...

DS - I would like to know how's to play a oficial cartridge T-T
- Keep your finger away from my screen!!! I HATE DIGITAL IMPRESSIONS!!!

SNES - WHY!?!? WHY DID YOU SELL ME!?!?1 I gonna haunt forever!!! FOREVER!!!

 

[Pimpmynintendo]

PC: 'AY KID, I'MA COMPUTA! STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN! HELP COMPUTA!

 

[silent sniper]

PC: "Hey You."
Me: "Me?"
PC: "No, the toilet. YEAH YOU FATTY!"
Me: "You want me to unplug you?"
PC: "Ack! No! I'm sorry! Don't hur-" And unplugged.
DS: "Awesome."

 

[dinofan01]

Okay here I go:

PC:"Could I stay off for at least a couple of hours?"
Wii:"Can you pick a game please! You can't play the same game ever!"
360:"Don't worry I'll wait for the next big game; until then I'll just do some reading."
DS:"Who are you? And where am I? All I know is the inside of a box from Circuit City."

GCN, NES, N64:"You can at least plug us in!"
GB (pocket), GBC, GBA:"Why did you use us so much? We feel like whores from downtown."

 

[podunk1269]

nds: stop touching me, touch the wii
wii: stop touching me touch the DS
pc:stop touching yourself in front me

 

[GameDragon]

PC: My lord! If you make me anymore powerful, I'll be able to beat Superman with my eyes closed.
DS: I love cuddling with you every night...

Wii: So uh... whats its gonna be today? The usual SSBB?
PS3: Slowly but surely, I will devour your devotion to your other consoles.

 

[distorted.freque]

PC: You've been watching yuri porn the whole day. Aren't you going to stop?
Me: I wasn't watching yuri porn! Yaaargh.
PC: Well it looked like yuri porn to me. There was touching involved.
Me: You mean it was a touching series. It was mostly drama, you shithead.
PC: And boobs! Did I mention the boobs?
Me: I didn't see any BOOBS! *looks through the series again*
PC: Sucker.

DS: I thought you loved me! You were supposed to finish a game this time! Why must you ignore me naowz?!

Imaginary Console: Buuuuuuy me. I knoooow you waaaaant toooooo. @_@

 

[Christen]

PC: Quit downloading porn, chatting with your friends on MSN while listening to heavy metal, browsing forums and Team Fortress 2 and step outside for a minute!

Wii: Your installing WHAT into me? Is that legal?

PS1: I've brought you so much joy, remember Final Fantasy 7?

DS: Why did you loose your old SuperCard? Please buy another flash cartridge so I can get some use other then Guitar Hero!

XBOX 360: How much longer while I last?

PS2: FIXXXXXXX MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dreamcast: You'll be back. Remember, I have Street Fighter 3 and Marvel vs. Capcom!

Gamecube: Well, I've basically became worthless since he got a Wii. Damn perfect backwards compatibility.

I could go on and on, but I don't wanna go into to much detail, I think you know how it goes.

 

[Private|Par]

PC: Replace me now. Seriously. Get all your shit off me, and dump me. I've been working for nearly 8 years. That's more than anyone could want. That's before the Xbox. Honestly. I've been re-formatted twice.. I think, I can't remember. Please just do it again.

DS: Why do you keep putting many games into my slot? I didn't think you had that much money. Oh well... It's printing Nintendo money... Right? RIGHT?

 

[HBK]

PC: Ok, I swear, if you EVER try and run Crysis on me again on High I'll explode!

DS: I can has infinite free games?

 

[Mei-o]

Laptop: 3/4 of my memory contains loli, loli yuri and gothic lolita, you better delete it or...oh wait, don't.


DS: You really like touching do you?

 

[cracker]

PC: Hey, umm Mr Dude user sir can I have a reboot please. It's been a couple weeks and I'm getting kind of pale and starting to lose my mind. Fine.. I guess I need to play hardball and make things run noticeably slower. Oh yeah and Firefox is with me on this... It's not going to load some of your sites until you give in to our demands!

PSP: *Cough* So much dust... We used to be buds but you've left me alone to rot on the corner of your desk. Please... It's not my fault that there haven't been many good games.. or games at all.. released lately.

DS: Who's the bitch now PSP!? You don't get played much anymore do you? Neither does your brother - the skinny one... Mr. Fatty... *inner thoughts* Damn I wish I could stop playing Puzzle Quest...

Pocket PC: Man what a tease... You get me all charged up and now you're just gonna let me sit here?!

Wii: Damn I get so confused when you guys hit buttons... Which one was player one again? I'll randomly pick one of you guys...

PS2 Slim & PS2 Original:
Slim: It's because of you that he left us

Original: No he told me that he thought you were stupid and he needed some time to think

Slim: Fatass...

Original: Lightweight...

GBA: I just need someone to hold and love me... Preferably with warm, soft hands...