Met with Beth today around the same time. She was wearing those pink/peachy colored jeans (kinda looks like it’s from Gee) and a black shirt. We got onto the light rail and talked about her math final today and that she had to return her rented textbooks. Beth tells me that she is planning to take her child development final with some classmates tomorrow. We get onto the second light rail around 7:50ish and I notice that the black oily tar thingy is on her bag again (thankfully it didn’t get onto her pants). Beth becomes upset about her luck. We get off the light rail and head to Starbucks to get her bag cleaned up. On the way there, Beth gets cramps and makes her even more upset. She heads for the bathroom to clean up and I buy a hot tall white mocha with soy and whip cream and a toasted cinnamon bun for her. Michelle texts me that she won’t be able to make it for that ice cream date because she needs to study for her finals. I tell her to not worry about that and to focus on her finals instead. Beth comes out and eats the bun but decides that she wants RedBull instead. We stop by a nearby gas station and on the way there, Beth spills some coffee on her hands. She buys the RedBull (12oz) and thinks that it’s a rip off because of the price. So up until now, Beth is really upset about her day. She got that black stuff on her bag, cramps, coffee spill (just on her fingers), and that price of the drink. We hit the food court around 8:30ish and I tell Beth to take out her math stuff to study. We study until 9:30ish and she leaves for her math test. Brandon already arrived around 9ish. Phillip follows soon after Beth leaves and us guys just play cards. I get a call from Beth that the room number that the instructor gave for the final didn’t exist. I tell her to check the email again and Beth texts me that she’s okay now. We keep playing cards until 11:30ish and Beth comes back. I ask her how her final was and Beth said that it was easy and that she worried for nothing (dumb kid, I told her to not worry…). Brandon and Phillip grab some lunch while Beth and I play cards. When those two finished, I heat up my lunch and watch those three kids play. Beth decides to get lunch and Phillip gets her some lunch. But, Phillip got the order wrong and Beth becomes extremely upset (because Phillip never listens). The atmosphere becomes awkward while we all play (just the guys because Beth doesn’t “feel” like playing). With the awkward temperature, I ask Brandon random question about his fishes and our Philo test tomorrow. Brandon leaves to use the bathroom and Beth and Phillip play cards. Beth appears to be “happy” again. I forget what happens, but her upset nature comes back and we play cards in awkward silence. Brandon heads out around 2ish and we head out to sit outside and play cards. The atmosphere is still awkward while we play. I get fed up and I tell them that I’m just going to play solitaire by myself while those two (more like Beth) drown in their own thoughts. Beth leaves to use the bathroom and I play speed with Phillip. He asks me if she was moody in the morning and I tell him about her whole morning. Beth comes back and plays speed with us cheerfully. We play speed until 3:20ish and we take Beth to her usual spot for her ride. Beth leaves around 3:40ish and Phillip leaves soon afterwards. I head to the library and wait for my ride and leave around 6ish.
Man… I didn’t like today. I was hoping for it to be like Monday. I didn’t get to hang out with Michelle and Jheryssa one last time, but its okay. Because I rather have Michelle pass her classes over anything with me. I doubt that I will ever see those two kids again. Today's ice cream date was suppose to be our farewell before the summer, but... it's whatever, I'm content to know that Michelle is able to prioritize herself first. The thing that really brought down today was Beth and her attitude. If there was one thing I’d change about the kid, it would be how she acts when things do not go her way. Beth just shuts down. Everything that comes out of her mouth is just negative things about her luck/life. And when Phillip got her the wrong food, I felt that she made a big deal out of something that was small (but too her, its probably more than what it is…). Yeah, Beth ruined the day for me (with the exception towards 2ish to the end of the day). She’s the life of the party. Beth is the thing that keeps the atmosphere running smoothly. And if she becomes upset and down, all of us stop functioning. Beth KNOWS that she’s the life of the party and yet she still acts childish when things don’t go her way. I attempted to cheer her up by getting her things but… Beth chooses to not become happy. She chooses to stay drown in her thoughts. I wish that she wouldn’t do that because it really kills the day (and me too). I’m really sad that Beth acted the way she acted with Phillip when he got her order wrong. She could have just said something and left it at that, but Beth just had to drag it to something that it wasn’t supposed to be and kill the day (and us guys). I’m really thankful that Brandon was there so I could keep some form of conversation going. Yeah… today sucked. It was terrible because Beth dragged the atmosphere down. I hope that she won’t do that tomorrow or on Friday because it will make me sad, knowing that my last memories with them is going to be not so great. I’m just really sad and disappointed in Beth…
Edit: I texted Beth about my feelings about today. I told her that I didn't like it how she acted when Phillip got her the wrong order and stuff. I told her that the atmosphere is dependent of how she acts and feels at the moment. Beth apologized for how she acted and said that she should have pulled Phillip to the side and did what they had to do. I told Beth "I'm going to be selfish and truly ask you to do something for me. For the next two days, you have to be happy. Even if you're not, you have to put up a front that you're happy and nothing is bothering you. Do this, so that I can remember and recall that we did have fun on our last days together.". Beth agrees and says that it's an easy task to do. But why do I still feel sad?? Maybe, that I know that she's going to lie about being happy because I told her to. Maybe because I told her to be happy, and that her happiness isn't going to be genuine like the past few days. I kind of now regret how I told her to be happy, because of the sincerity of being happy can be questioned... Fuck me... I hope that I can sleep on this and this feeling of being down is gone by the time I wake up tomorrow... Fucking Beth... she can really make or break the day, huh...
Today wasn’t as good as the past two days. I hope that tomorrow will be a MUCH better day for us. Damn… only 2 more days left, huh…
Edit 2: After much thoughts, I'm going to forgive Beth for her actions today. I'm going to forgive her so I can have some peace in my mind and so I can be myself tomorrow. I will still tell her about my blog-type thingy though.
In the library, I had this song on repeat. It has that slow/sad piano melody. The song really sets in on how I feel about today. My last day with them is just right there, yet... I dunno. I just don't like how today ended up.
4Men- First Love
Man… I didn’t like today. I was hoping for it to be like Monday. I didn’t get to hang out with Michelle and Jheryssa one last time, but its okay. Because I rather have Michelle pass her classes over anything with me. I doubt that I will ever see those two kids again. Today's ice cream date was suppose to be our farewell before the summer, but... it's whatever, I'm content to know that Michelle is able to prioritize herself first. The thing that really brought down today was Beth and her attitude. If there was one thing I’d change about the kid, it would be how she acts when things do not go her way. Beth just shuts down. Everything that comes out of her mouth is just negative things about her luck/life. And when Phillip got her the wrong food, I felt that she made a big deal out of something that was small (but too her, its probably more than what it is…). Yeah, Beth ruined the day for me (with the exception towards 2ish to the end of the day). She’s the life of the party. Beth is the thing that keeps the atmosphere running smoothly. And if she becomes upset and down, all of us stop functioning. Beth KNOWS that she’s the life of the party and yet she still acts childish when things don’t go her way. I attempted to cheer her up by getting her things but… Beth chooses to not become happy. She chooses to stay drown in her thoughts. I wish that she wouldn’t do that because it really kills the day (and me too). I’m really sad that Beth acted the way she acted with Phillip when he got her order wrong. She could have just said something and left it at that, but Beth just had to drag it to something that it wasn’t supposed to be and kill the day (and us guys). I’m really thankful that Brandon was there so I could keep some form of conversation going. Yeah… today sucked. It was terrible because Beth dragged the atmosphere down. I hope that she won’t do that tomorrow or on Friday because it will make me sad, knowing that my last memories with them is going to be not so great. I’m just really sad and disappointed in Beth…
Edit: I texted Beth about my feelings about today. I told her that I didn't like it how she acted when Phillip got her the wrong order and stuff. I told her that the atmosphere is dependent of how she acts and feels at the moment. Beth apologized for how she acted and said that she should have pulled Phillip to the side and did what they had to do. I told Beth "I'm going to be selfish and truly ask you to do something for me. For the next two days, you have to be happy. Even if you're not, you have to put up a front that you're happy and nothing is bothering you. Do this, so that I can remember and recall that we did have fun on our last days together.". Beth agrees and says that it's an easy task to do. But why do I still feel sad?? Maybe, that I know that she's going to lie about being happy because I told her to. Maybe because I told her to be happy, and that her happiness isn't going to be genuine like the past few days. I kind of now regret how I told her to be happy, because of the sincerity of being happy can be questioned... Fuck me... I hope that I can sleep on this and this feeling of being down is gone by the time I wake up tomorrow... Fucking Beth... she can really make or break the day, huh...
Today wasn’t as good as the past two days. I hope that tomorrow will be a MUCH better day for us. Damn… only 2 more days left, huh…
Edit 2: After much thoughts, I'm going to forgive Beth for her actions today. I'm going to forgive her so I can have some peace in my mind and so I can be myself tomorrow. I will still tell her about my blog-type thingy though.
In the library, I had this song on repeat. It has that slow/sad piano melody. The song really sets in on how I feel about today. My last day with them is just right there, yet... I dunno. I just don't like how today ended up.
4Men- First Love
