I found a nice guide: http://www.n3dscart.com/pages/R4i%252dGold-Setup.html
I think I need this firmware but all links are broken http://www.r4i-gold.me/en/download/skin/2012/0115/281.html
They also didn't work. I downloaded the latest edit of the orignal R4 Firmware from r4li.com. On my DS Lite I got a loading screen, but its stuck there.
My 1500ish games is all hand picked and scraped it's taken me months but zero trash well except MAME.... Tried deleting clones and broke the originals uugghh