Have you experienced bisexual erasure?

[caipora]

Since i got to know myself as bi i'd hear about "bisexual erasure". This term sounded odd for me, for some time i treated it like "lol who cares", kinda doubting the existence of the thing, but as i got more into the community, going out with queer fellas etc i started to notice how real this shit is.
Many times i've had people saying to me that "you're either straight or gay, there's no mid ground" (said mostly by gay men) , like, i'm not trying to be middle ground dumbass lol leave me alone.
Although i did went through a situation where a lesbian agreed to go out with me because i was bi (i was confused and flattered by this lol we're colleagues today), there was two occasions where people (mostly men, again) lost interest in me when they found out i'm bi, like i'm somekind of disease infested body :-( it didn't happen many times with me, but i've heard people that went through some hard shit, like a partner ending a relation ship outta plain paranoia, afraid that they were going to be cheated on.

Shit sucks. Have you been through it or know someone who have been?

 

[AncientBoi]

Sorry to hear that. This shouldn't be happening, but it does. Like in politics within our own community. Sad.

 

[caipora]

Sorry to hear that. This shouldn't be happening, but it does. Like in politics within our own community. Sad.

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Yeah, it's part of living i guess, but i was genuinely surprised how fucking ignorant some people within the community can be.
Like... WHAT, you know?

 

[The Catboy]

The fact that I am in heterosexual marriage has often been at the center of people trying to claim I am not pansexual (or bisexual, I use both terms.) I've also dealt with enby-erasure as a result of my age because apparently being in my 30s and being gender fluid means I am just a woman. There will always be people out there trying to erase others' identities for whatever reasons but it's not their place to define other people. Personally, I am not bothered by that shit anymore as the opinions of others don't change who I am. I've lived my life as a mess and I am happy about that.

 

[LeoTCK]

I've had a friend, well my best friend...who's missing for more than a decade now...who at the time started to come out as gay and he was shocked to find out I was bi or omni or whatever. He said he thought I was just "straight" and he himself was doubtful whether bisexuals exist or not...and well...it caused friction between us...but then things seemed to settle and he wanted to come out to his parents...and that's when I lost contact with him. Eventualy I moved out but I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me, but I was a fool because I noticed all his phones/e-mail adresses and whatever eventually stopped working... and then something happened to me myself and I lost my memory and only recently I started to realize that he might still be missing so I started to investigate and so far came up with nothing. It looks like the only way might be is to send a letter to his father...

 

[SylverReZ]

I've had a friend, well my best friend...who's missing for more than a decade now...who at the time started to come out as gay and he was shocked to find out I was bi or omni or whatever. He said he thought I was just "straight" and he himself was doubtful whether bisexuals exist or not...and well...it caused friction between us...but then things seemed to settle and he wanted to come out to his parents...and that's when I lost contact with him. Eventualy I moved out but I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me, but I was a fool because I noticed all his phones/e-mail adresses and whatever eventually stopped working... and then something happened to me myself and I lost my memory and only recently I started to realize that he might still be missing so I started to investigate and so far came up with nothing. It looks like the only way might be is to send a letter to his father...

I hope your friend is doing okay. I wish them the best.

 

[LeoTCK]

I hope your friend is doing okay. I wish them the best.

thanks

 

[AncientBoi]

I've had a friend, well my best friend...who's missing for more than a decade now...who at the time started to come out as gay and he was shocked to find out I was bi or omni or whatever. He said he thought I was just "straight" and he himself was doubtful whether bisexuals exist or not...and well...it caused friction between us...but then things seemed to settle and he wanted to come out to his parents...and that's when I lost contact with him. Eventualy I moved out but I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me, but I was a fool because I noticed all his phones/e-mail adresses and whatever eventually stopped working... and then something happened to me myself and I lost my memory and only recently I started to realize that he might still be missing so I started to investigate and so far came up with nothing. It looks like the only way might be is to send a letter to his father...

Ahhhyess, The unknowing. I've had a friend like that. I think I was 23 when we somehow drifted apart. I think I still miss him in the back of my mind, as he was my first (in the sense of "touch") (me - 17, he - 15 and initiator of our encounters). Yes, the memories

 

[LeoTCK]

Ahhhyess, The unknowing. I've had a friend like that. I think I was 23 when we somehow drifted apart. I think I still miss him in the back of my mind, as he was my first (in the sense of "touch") (me - 17, he - 15 and initiator of our encounters).

Well he once couldn't hold it in him and kind of pinned me down on a floor, was quite...homoerotic... and in childhood he wanted to convince me to kiss him by closing ourselves in a closet literally (which I was pressured to do so but I didn't feel much towards him, I just wanted him to stop requesting it over and over so I lightly kiss-touched him)....but obviously years later he must have forgotten it happened because he was shocked that I knew he was gay (and dismissed those other things as "we were just kids" but that it must have been apparent if I knew and he started to doubt himself more) and he even hated himself for a bit and while he had some sexual experience already (while I really didn't apart from virtual stuff) he was still afraid to fully open up and when he started to do so...I dunno what his parents reaction was.
I knew he was gay and that's why I felt he needs protecting when he was bullied sometimes or ridiculed. I'd get into fights for him...

He even suggested we could start a relationship then, but....he already concluded I had "someone else" at least over the internet and thus shut himself off, even though...I was willing to re-consider and given everything that happened maybe I regret I didn't as now I'm stuck with zeur (don't ask) in a rather difficult life.
So yea....that's quite a complex ball of problems.

 

[AncientBoi]

Well he once couldn't hold it in him and kind of pinned me down on a floor, was quite...homoerotic... and in childhood he wanted to convince me to kiss him by closing ourselves in a closet literally (which I was pressured to do so but I didn't feel much towards him, I just wanted him to stop requesting it over and over so I lightly kiss-touched him)....but obviously years later he must have forgotten it happened because he was shocked that I knew he was gay (and dismissed those other things as "we were just kids" but that it must have been apparent if I knew and he started to doubt himself more) and he even hated himself for a bit and while he had some sexual experience already (while I really didn't apart from virtual stuff) he was still afraid to fully open up and when he started to do so...I dunno what his parents reaction was.
I knew he was gay and that's why I felt he needs protecting when he was bullied sometimes or ridiculed. I'd get into fights for him...

He even suggested we could start a relationship then, but....he already concluded I had "someone else" at least over the internet and thus shut himself off, even though...I was willing to re-consider and given everything that happened maybe I regret I didn't as now I'm stuck with zeur (don't ask) in a rather difficult life.
So yea....that's quite a complex ball of problems.

Been there, Done that. lol

 

[LeoTCK]

Perhaps I should have made a separate thread about my friend, but at the time I posted that I didn't have enough privileges to make my own thread anyways...

but well...I really feel emotional about this. I have been talking more and more with one of my friends of that time...
and he and other people have really no idea where he is, he didn't appear at any school reunions, nowhere.
I really fear that he truly took his life...
all I have now left are photos from the school that he took pictures of, the yearly class photos, he's only on three of them and its still primary school material, we weren't always in the same class room....
I am not sure if it would be appropriate to post the snippets..maybe in a separate thread if I ever get a confirmation if he died or not.

Post automatically merged: Feb 12, 2024

Oh yea guys I wanted to say one thing. He went by the nickname "Lee" I suppose kind of copying me on games because I went by Leo. Though I feel that it has maybe different reason too...
just saying, anyone with that name you might see online that is from czech republic could be him...if he simply moved out or something or...nothing happened to him.