Affirming gender through notification titles

[Quantumcat]

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

1. Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in her or his post in [thread name]"
2. (In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to her or his thread [thread name]"

And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.

 

[Dionicio3]

In the new temp style, you need to enter the actual profile page of the person for seeing if they have set a gender.

Before, it was shown on the popup that opens when clicking on the user name, without actually entering the profile page.

Is it really hard to show it along with the join date and location at the left side of each user's entry/comment/post? I've always wondered this.

Why did you bold so many words? It makes it hard to read

 

[Olmectron]

Why did you bold so many words? It makes it hard to read

I'm just remarking important statements for those that could ignore the post by simple being so long and pointless.

 

[Dionicio3]

I'm just remarking important statements.

Please don't, it's extremely annoying

 

[Olmectron]

Please don't, it's extremely annoying

Alright?

You can add me to your "ignore" list if I make something annoying again.

Sorry.

 

[Kikirini]

Eh. I get misgendered on this site all the time, but I don't see a need to add a feature like this.
If people get it wrong, correct them. Simple as that.

 

[sarkwalvein]

In the new temp style, you need to enter the actual profile page of the person for seeing if they have set a gender.

Before, it was shown on the popup that opens when clicking on the user name, without actually entering the profile page.

Is it really hard to show it along with the join date and location at the left side of each user's entry/comment/post? I've always wondered this.

TBH I can only attribute it to laziness.
And that is perfectly fine, but it would be better if people just call apples apples, and don't keep on trying to sell them to us as bananas.

 

[ihaveahax]

It's only for plural, although people incorrectly use it for singular too.

I am not a native speaker, and it seems weird to me when used as singular.
But I've seen this is a tendency nowadays, and according to this article, it was used for singular in the past, then it stopped being used that way, and now it is starting to be used again for singular in a "process that seems irreversible" for the language.

it can be used in both cases. singular "they" has been around for a long time and is a valid use of the term. it can be used to refer to someone whose gender is unknown, or someone who prefers it.

 

[deinonychus71]

I really couldnt care less if such an option is added, however for having managed a social site for a while I know this: The problem with that is that it will not stop there.
Next thing is gonna add all the "other" genders, like shi for example.
Some people get really, really pissy if you call them male or female. I remember a telegram chat that went into a drama because someone didn't want us to say "hey guys" cause it was offending to that person. It "was offending because it was showing male superiority over female" so we had to stop using it.

Every, single, thing, you, say, will offend someone in the world. People always find reasons to go on crusades and be offended by something. And why even stopping with genders? I wanna be recognized as a dragon and I get offended being called a human. I know thats not whats my body is but it hurts me inside to be considered as such (i know some people genuinely feel that way), so should I ask to create a special property field not to be called a man?
That's just how stupidly extreme this stuff can get. A mistake is a mistake and is not meant to offend. Be an adult about it. End of the story. If you can't deal with that, don't read the internet because people won't give up on their freedom of speech.

 

[Mr. Elementle]

It is but that's awkward. Anytime using "their" for a single person is just making it glaringly obvious that you don't know anything about this person, and just sounds uncomfortable.

It really doesn't to native English speakers, at least it sounds better than "he or she". English speakers use singular they all the time without realizing it, they only get upset when you ask them to use it. if you don't know someone's gender or your talking about multiple people but separately you use singular they, or anytime you would use someone, or somebody you would use singular they

"The cashier looked super familiar" "What'd they looks like?"
"I went around and asked each person what they wanted for lunch"
"Anyone would have wondered if the letter was theirs"

all of these sentences (And many more) are proper grammatical uses of singular they would be made way clunkier, and much worse by trying put "he or she" in there, no native English speaker would say "What'd he or she look like" unless they were going out of their way. English never actually stopped using singular they, just in the last couple decades people started being offended by it, or more specifically by people asking them to use it

 

[Whole lotta love]

I don't see a point in having gender referenced at all on this site.

 

[Mr. Elementle]

If you can't deal with that, don't read the internet because people won't give up on their freedom of speech.

But wouldn't it be their freedom of speech to tell you it's offensive, or to ask to be called a dragon? freedom of speech works both ways, if you have the right to say something, they have the right to say it's offensive, and it's up to you to decide if it actually is or not, if you think it actually hurt someone you should stop, if you think they're being overly sensitive you have the right to tell them that, and they have the right to say something back. that's how freedom of speech works, just because you have the right to say something doesn't mean people have to like or agree with it, as long as it's not like a rampage or slurs or inciting an actual physical hate crime it's fine

oh and that dragon thing actually exists, it's called other-kin and real trans people that identify as the opposite gender, or as non-binary FUCKING HATE IT, since most of the people that use it don't even have dysphoria or any of the mental triggers that actually make you trans, they're just extra-furries that don't want to call themselves furries so they try to act like they're trans, and actual trans people have a hell of a time trying to tell them that just because you really like deer doesn't mean your gender is deer.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

I don't see a point in having gender referenced at all on this site.

The real answer to this whole thread, like just keep it all gender neutral, it's easier and you have to deal with way less moral/political shit.

 

[Quantumcat]

1. "The cashier looked super familiar" "What'd they look like?"
2. "I went around and asked each person what they wanted for lunch"
3. "Anyone would have wondered if the letter was theirs"

In all of these cases it is someone you either don't know or it could apply to a number of people any of which could be male or female. These cases are fine. When you are referring to someone specific who you know (you know their name, they're not a random cashier or something). That's when it is awkward.

In the case of number 1, they are a cashier, a random person who you don't know.
In the case of number 2, unless you are at an all girl's school, or in a monastery, each person could be either male or female.
Number 3 is the same as number 2.

Compare this to:
"I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
"Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
"arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
"I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"

Do these not sound awkward to you?

 

[Olmectron]

-snip-
@Quantumcat is simply proposing a way to identify as "she" or "he" to each user in the notifications.

Something along the lines of "User A has tagged you in his/her post"

 

[Mr. Elementle]

Compare this to:
"I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
"Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
"arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
"I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"

Do these not sound awkward to you?

No those all sound fine. that's how i'd phrase them if i didn't know the persons gender, and none of those would be easy to figure it out since they're all gender neutral

 

[ihaveahax]

this thread is about changing text on the site to refer to someone in their preferred method, it should not become another gender politics/wars thread. I would be in favor of reading the user's profile and using the appropriate pronoun (he/she), and/or defaulting to they, or not using one at all. keeps the most people happy.

 

[Mr. Elementle]

This comment has nothing to do with the discussion. Did you actually read it?

no they just saw gender in a topic and saw it as a chance to shout their transphobic opinions at people lol, that happens a lot on the internet

 

[Dionicio3]

this thread is about changing text on the site to refer to someone in their preferred method, it should not become another gender politics/wars thread. I would be in favor of reading the user's profile and using the appropriate pronoun (he/she), and/or defaulting to they, or not using one at all. keeps the most people happy.

Words of the wisest man

 

[SG854]

I really couldnt care less if such an option is added, however for having managed a social site for a while I know this: The problem with that is that it will not stop there.
Next thing is gonna add all the "other" genders, like shi for example.
Some people get really, really pissy if you call them male or female. I remember a telegram chat that went into a drama because someone didn't want us to say "hey guys" cause it was offending to that person. It "was offending because it was showing male superiority over female" so we had to stop using it.

Wasn't there a group of people that said labels are bad because they separate people into groups, that we should look past that and judge people as individuals rather than labels and groups they are associated with. And then all of a sudden here comes a bunch of people creating millions of gender labels to separate people.

"You guys" being offensive? That microaggression nonsense. Problem with microaggressions is that there is no research to back up that it causes harm.
And usually people that make a big deal about microaggressions become macroaggressive.

 

[jurassicplayer]

"I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
"Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
"arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
"I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"

Do these not sound awkward to you?

No, they don't sound awkward.

I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me.

Not to mention that there are some people that change their gender whenever they feel like it. Maybe I've been online for too long or something, but I don't associate anything with gender (username, avatar, and even that gender on the profile). It's either: everyone is a guy, or I get confirmation from the person in question about what gender they give a shit to be called. And then there are those off cases where someone was a guy/girl and decided to change genders, in which case I remember both.

 

[YamiZee]

I mean there COULD be a check box for those that want it that would display a tiny gender sign next to their country flag or something