Video Game Logic

[Pleng]

I can't do that

 

[Terenigma]

Stuck in traffic with cars everywhere? Want a simple solution? Set your car on fire and watch how the road mysteriously vanishes of every other car. - GTA

 

[migles]

i was playing kirbi on the wii today and i just realised something i didn't thought when i was young

kirby a game where you eat fast food and punch trees until they cry....

is nintendo telling me, fuck the trees and get fat?

 

[BlackWizzard17]

Running so fast collecting rings to then get hit and loose all those rings that you didn't even have pockets to carry them in - Sonic Series

 

[Pleng]

Not exactly video game logic, but mildly related:

No Keyboard or Keyboard Error
Press any key to continue...

 

[Maxternal]

66 pieces of fruit is all you can find on the surface of a WHOLE PLANET
BUT
Those 66 pieces of fruit are enough to save your WHOLE STARVING PLANET from extinction.

-Pikmin 3

 

[Taleweaver]

66 pieces of fruit is all you can find on the surface of a WHOLE PLANET
BUT
Those 66 pieces of fruit are enough to save your WHOLE STARVING PLANET from extinction.

-Pikmin 3

Can't they plant the seeds of those fruits to grow all they ever need in nutrition?

Yeah, I know...it's a long term planning solution for an immediate problem, and if you're collecting the same pieces of fruit it's pointless too...but it could be worse (at least you're not collecting candy, pies or chocolate for your people ).

 

[Sychophantom]

You can carry hot lava in a metal bucket, but if you throw the bucket into lava, it melts/disappears - Minecraft.

 

[migles]

You can carry hot lava in a metal bucket, but if you throw the bucket into lava, it melts/disappears - Minecraft.

and dont forget you can forge it on a regular furnace but its ok if you carry super hot fresh lava

 

[Sychophantom]

and dont forget you can forge it on a regular furnace but its ok if you carry super hot fresh lava

That you can use to power the furnace to make more buckets.

 

[Taleweaver]

I've been playing far cry 3 lately. Fun game, but I gotta say that the more games evolve (both from graphical perspective as from character development), the creepier they actually become...

-white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions
-when exploring a hidden temple or a military in search of an item, there's often only one long, difficult path to your goal. But once you have that item, exiting turns out to be easy-peasy. So WHY NOT ENTER THROUGH THAT EXIT INSTEAD???
-the average guard is deaf to most sounds like someone swimming, climbing a ladder, someone talking to himself or even knifing your colleague. They also have a field of view I swear is in the single digits...until they spot you. Then they see you, hear you, know where you are and can shoot at you from half the continent away
-speaking of which: it's perfectly normal that your character talks to himself, sometimes directly voicing your mission even while it is flashing directly on the HUD.
-plundering and stealing everyone's stuff is only a terrible crime if SOMEONE ELSE does it (I've had quite some encounters that where some guy was praising how I was helping their tribe at pretty much the very same moment I was looting the little possessions he had just so I could sell it later...especially with the huge-ass gun I was running around, it felt as if the game was showcasing capitalism at its finest ).

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

I've been playing far cry 3 lately. Fun game, but I gotta say that the more games evolve (both from graphical perspective as from character development), the creepier they actually become...

-white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions

Pretty sure the main character is like late 20's early 30's

But yeah, the rest of your points are pretty accurate, though the whole "why not enter through the exit" thing, the exit usually ends up being in a spot that isn't accessible from any other direction other than through the cave. I can think of very few caves that can be accessed from the exit itself.

 

[Gahars]

-white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions

Is that really a criticism if that's the whole point of the story? The other characters constantly call you out on your creepy blood lust, and the ending... well, it ain't exactly uplifting.

 

[Taleweaver]

Tom Bombadildo: turns out we're both wrong: he's 25. But I gotta say the game doesn't quite tell you much of who you're playing as.

And I started noticing the exit thingy after two missions:

Spoiler

One where you have to retrieve the knive from the temple. So even though you have to fight through all these enemies who have their base there for no reason, then have to use your magical 3-part compass (which conveniently allowed for extra missions earlier in the game) to open a door and do some more Indiana Jones/Prince of Persia routines. But after you finally get the knife, it's almost a straight line to the open air.

The other one is one of the early missions on the southern islands: stealing a uniform from one of the rookie privates. After quite a lot of sneaking around, I finally find the one guy I am supposed to kill and strip (keep in mind that he is dressed and looks exactly like the couple of thousand clones you already killed). He's on a boat. And as it turns out, you can just SWIM AWAY after the mission. Which means that all that sneaking could've been avoided if that German contact person had bothered to tell you how to get away from that boat AT THE START.

Is that really a criticism if that's the whole point of the story? The other characters constantly call you out on your creepy blood lust, and the ending... well, it ain't exactly uplifting.

It's not so much criticism as it's the way that it is (satire, in other words). It's true that your friends call you out on it, but while that is a good thing in the game, it at the same time points out that shortcoming in most other games (kind of like how Spec ops: the line does it on military shooters). Haven't finished it yet, so can't say much on the ending yet.

 

[Taleweaver]

-things you can pick up cannot be destroyed: you can sink your entire ammunition of flame thrower fuel on a wad of dollar bills, but it simply won't burn or even change color. Likewise, bulletproof vests only start to wear out AFTER you start wearing them.
-when people start talking to you, they WILL NOT STOP talking, even if you break eye contact, teabag their dead wife or simply run away mid-conversation
-open worlds your average environment is LITTERED with crates holding cash, trinkets, weapons and ammo. Even though treasure chests tell you all locations within a few meters, nobody ever uses it but you
-you can somehow improve skills you haven't used before (like improving your swimming capabilities by hunting animals).
-it's not as fun being a hero if a "hero" is used by people who use said word to send you on fetch quests and do all the dirty work.

 

[lagaremondays]

I rescued a dozen of towns, killed big-ass bosses and saved the world from the brink of extinction. And the town people still treat me like a kid and sent me for fetch quests. Dude, where's my respect?

 

[Veho]

 

[Bimmel]

Everbody fight for any stupid reason.

~ every beat'em up game

Animals get catched into a tiny ball, transfered on a PC and will never see the light of day again.
When your animals are defeated, you faint for no reason at all and lose money.

~ Pokemon

Many people look the same when you go into a town.

~ every RPG so far

People act stupid or asking silly questions so the story can be told or things can be explained in more details, even if the matter should be clear to these characters.

~ almost every video game

Main hero remains silent for words, but screams like an idiot.
Everything the hero gets, he must hold high in the air so everybody can see it.
When Zelda transforms into Shiek, she is a badass ninja who shoots needles and jump super high. As Zelda she can't do any of that, even if its the same person after all.

~ Legend of Zelda

 

[Veho]

 

[TripleSMoon]

Take multiple shots to your chest, sometimes even your head, and you're often totally fine. But get sniped in the arm or even in the gun, and it's instant death.