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An amusing take on... "Gaming" devices!
The latest craze is apparently slapping LEDs on everything and calling it a "gaming" device.
See Temper Tantrums No.5 for more info on this.
As rediculous as it may seem, it's a thing. We have gaming laptops, gaming phones, gaming watches, and gaming game consoles.
It's a whole 'nother level of gaming! We're geting into the territory of prefixes. Amazing, right?
Yeah...if you slap rainbow LEDs on something, it's instantly 9000 times cooler. No questions asked.
But why stop there? We can go WAY cooler.
...Let's do an experiment. We'll make a Gaming Waffle Iron. Because who doesn't like to play Cave Story while making waffles?
We'll make plans just like the real guys do it when they make gaming devices:
Give some kids crayons and let them go nuts.
Amazon tells me that waffle irons cost around $20 for a cheap one, and $100+ for a nice one.
We'll compromise and get a $30 iron.
Oh, and apparently fidget cubes count as waffle irons now.
"ALD Kitchen Electric Muffin hot dog machine waffle maker egg machine Waffle Maker Waffle Stick Master (110v)"
I'm serious. Look this one up. It's $11 dollars.
That aside, gaming waffle iron. Go.
--------------------------------------------
This is our target:
[waffle iron]
Cost: $30
Coolness: 3
It makes waffles. They've already bought me over. Take my money now!
But, compared to this guy I have terribly low standards:
[12-yo "gamer" douchebag. "yo I'm a gamer i'm better than you bitches lollollollollolll fuck"]
He is the pinnacle of fine-ass living. He lives in an apartment and is single.
Don't worry, we're all better than him.
What does he think of our waffle iron?
[bro it needs to be black and needs LED strips]
You heard the manbaby, add leds and make it black!
[waffle iron (black) with LED strips]
Cost: $40
Coolness: 10
Five dollars for spray paint, and five for some nice LEDs. Getting there!
Whaddya think, mister?
["did you just assume my gender?"]
["it needs cooling fins. now leave me alone, I'm playing minecraft."]
He's a jerk ;-;
But, we need to heed his advice.
[waffle iron with cooling fins]
Cost: $55
Coolness: 30
I stole the cooling fins from his car. The crowbar and hacksaw cost me $15 dollars, the store was having a sale!
Opinions, Mr. Attack Helicopter McJerkface?
[make it portable.]
Now THAT I can understand! Portable waffle iron! Genius!
[portable waffle iron]
Cost: $95
Coolness: 60
Safe: Probably not
40 dollars for battery.
This waffle iron violates a number of safety regulations. A free fire extinguisher will be included at purchase.
But consodering the target audience, they probably won't care.
The LED strips draw attention away from the fire hazard warnings.
Eh. Their funeral.
Hey Mr. Jerk! We're finished with the waffle iron!
[does it run minecraft?]
No, but it makes waffles!
[make it run minecraft or ima noscope you in every fps]
..Uh, I don't play shooters. But I do play Pokken sometimes. Twenty dollars says I'll kick your butt if we play now.
[deal. your gonna lose bitch. also pokemon sux]
You could start a riot by saying that.
[I CALL BULLSHIT, YOU CHEATED!]
Fork it over, pal.
I hate these kinds of people, the ones who act like they're better than everybody else.
...Let's end this crap once and for all.
Forget the waffle iron.
[GAMING BEAR TRAP]
Cost: $405.99
Coolness: Over 9000
Safe: Does it look safe?
$300 smackeroons for the bear trap, $5 for the paint, $10 for the LED strips, and $90 for the cooling fins.
A perfect gift for that certain someone.
Alas, this is my ten cents. Now to go deliver the gaming device to my friend Jerry. He wanted to borrow it.
An amusing take on... "Gaming" devices!
The latest craze is apparently slapping LEDs on everything and calling it a "gaming" device.
See Temper Tantrums No.5 for more info on this.
As rediculous as it may seem, it's a thing. We have gaming laptops, gaming phones, gaming watches, and gaming game consoles.
It's a whole 'nother level of gaming! We're geting into the territory of prefixes. Amazing, right?
Yeah...if you slap rainbow LEDs on something, it's instantly 9000 times cooler. No questions asked.
But why stop there? We can go WAY cooler.
...Let's do an experiment. We'll make a Gaming Waffle Iron. Because who doesn't like to play Cave Story while making waffles?
We'll make plans just like the real guys do it when they make gaming devices:
Give some kids crayons and let them go nuts.
Amazon tells me that waffle irons cost around $20 for a cheap one, and $100+ for a nice one.
We'll compromise and get a $30 iron.
Oh, and apparently fidget cubes count as waffle irons now.
"ALD Kitchen Electric Muffin hot dog machine waffle maker egg machine Waffle Maker Waffle Stick Master (110v)"
I'm serious. Look this one up. It's $11 dollars.
That aside, gaming waffle iron. Go.
--------------------------------------------
This is our target:
[waffle iron]
Cost: $30
Coolness: 3
It makes waffles. They've already bought me over. Take my money now!
But, compared to this guy I have terribly low standards:
[12-yo "gamer" douchebag. "yo I'm a gamer i'm better than you bitches lollollollollolll fuck"]
He is the pinnacle of fine-ass living. He lives in an apartment and is single.
Don't worry, we're all better than him.
What does he think of our waffle iron?
[bro it needs to be black and needs LED strips]
You heard the man
[waffle iron (black) with LED strips]
Cost: $40
Coolness: 10
Five dollars for spray paint, and five for some nice LEDs. Getting there!
Whaddya think, mister?
["did you just assume my gender?"]
["it needs cooling fins. now leave me alone, I'm playing minecraft."]
He's a jerk ;-;
But, we need to heed his advice.
[waffle iron with cooling fins]
Cost: $55
Coolness: 30
I stole the cooling fins from his car. The crowbar and hacksaw cost me $15 dollars, the store was having a sale!
Opinions, Mr. Attack Helicopter McJerkface?
[make it portable.]
Now THAT I can understand! Portable waffle iron! Genius!
[portable waffle iron]
Cost: $95
Coolness: 60
Safe: Probably not
40 dollars for battery.
This waffle iron violates a number of safety regulations. A free fire extinguisher will be included at purchase.
But consodering the target audience, they probably won't care.
The LED strips draw attention away from the fire hazard warnings.
Eh. Their funeral.
Hey Mr. Jerk! We're finished with the waffle iron!
[does it run minecraft?]
No, but it makes waffles!
[make it run minecraft or ima noscope you in every fps]
..Uh, I don't play shooters. But I do play Pokken sometimes. Twenty dollars says I'll kick your butt if we play now.
[deal. your gonna lose bitch. also pokemon sux]
You could start a riot by saying that.
[I CALL BULLSHIT, YOU CHEATED!]
Fork it over, pal.
I hate these kinds of people, the ones who act like they're better than everybody else.
...Let's end this crap once and for all.
Forget the waffle iron.
[GAMING BEAR TRAP]
Cost: $405.99
Coolness: Over 9000
Safe: Does it look safe?
$300 smackeroons for the bear trap, $5 for the paint, $10 for the LED strips, and $90 for the cooling fins.
A perfect gift for that certain someone.
Alas, this is my ten cents. Now to go deliver the gaming device to my friend Jerry. He wanted to borrow it.
He Row. Is that Michael rowing that boat ashore? 